I WONDER if there is such a thing as an organisation called Computer Games Anonymous? If there is I'd certainly like to join immediately. About a year ago my friend Renate introduced me to Solitaire, Free Cell and Hearts on my computer as a form of amusement to while away the occasional dull moment. I could absolutely kill her for having done this as now I am totally and utterly one hundred per cent addicted to them.

They have just about taken over my life, so much so that I even dream at night that I am playing Solitaire. I start my day with what is supposed to be a quick game of Hearts. My philosophy is that if I win the first game that I will have a good and fruitful day. However this is never usually the case and I go on and on playing until I win, still convinced that even if I don't win even by the fourth or fifth game that I will still have a wonderful day even if I just win one game. If I win three games in a row then my week is going to be splendiferous and this is of course my ultimate goal - although this too rarely happens.

It's got so bad that even when the phone rings and I am trying to have a major girlie chit chat with someone, I still have to get old Hearts up on the screen and have a quick game whilst talking to them. Quite often I hear "What's that noise?" as the evil Queen of Spades lands on me and makes a horrible "boinggg" sound or the King of Hearts descends menacingly with the crashing reverberation of breaking glass.

I have to pretend that I've just dropped something so as not to let on that they don't have my undivided attention. In fact I'm not listening at all, I am only interested in one thing and that is beating the computer and feeling like the true conqueror that I'm not. I know that there are a lot of people in the same position as myself; they waste endless hours in the pursuit of being able to have the satisfaction of one-upmanship over a piece of electronic equipment - pathetic isn't it? Sorry Tim that my column was late in this week but ...

Talking of Tim, he and I had the great pleasure of attending my niece Jessie's sixth birthday party on Saturday. Tim was in charge of the Bouncy Castle (getting into practise for M and my party) and I must say did a superb job. I have never been on one before and think that it is highly unlikely that I shall do so again. Oh my God, have you ever tried it? I felt exactly like I did about 30 something years ago after having attended my first ever Rum Swizzle party at Hawkins Island. The feeling of being well and truly incapacitated returned with a vengeance; I even had what I call the "whirling pits" when everything in your head goes completely topsy turvy and you can feel a little projectile trying to launch itself out of the bottom of your stomach. My brother equated the feeling to having a rather bad middle ear infection whereby your balance is severely impaired. Either way it was not a pleasant experience especially after having eaten rather an ample portion of cake with extra fingerfuls of that Crisco frosting. They apparently use Crisco these days because it has the right consistency but I think it is pretty revolting and to me it's like eating neat Vaseline but even so that doesn't stop me shovelling it in.

Jessie's party reminded me of the days when my two boys were little and that awful nightmare of having to organise 20 or so little devils, most of whom were intent on fighting and destroying our home as quickly as possible. I remember thinking that I would much rather have 80 adults for a ten-course, sit-down dinner than have to contend with a children's party. Nowadays though the children seem much more under control, maybe its because they eat a lot less sugar or maybe its because my patience has mellowed with old age, who knows.

Saturday was a very busy day and from Jessie's party I went on to my gal pal Jenny's little soiree where I think that most of the guests had consumed rather large amounts of sugar that day. What a hilarious evening that turned out to be with a wonderful collection of old mates assembled. Unfortunately the evening came to rather an abrupt halt. This was due to one of the girlies performing a rather overly zealous move on the dance floor, hitting the deck and virtually breaking her nose. That's what happens when you reach a certain age and you O.D. on too much sugar. Hopefully the poor girl will make a speedy recovery and be back in action for this weekend's activities.

I had the best, best dinner last night at Port O' Call. It helped considerably that someone else on a rather large expense account picked up the cheque. That always helps a little I think in one's pursuit of enjoyment. However there is no getting away from the fact that the food at Port O' Call is always consistently superb with service and ambiance to match. Everything I've ever eaten something there has not only looked amazing but also tasted equally as wonderful. You should check out the Crisp Oatmeal dusted and smoked bacon wrapped oysters with a Thai curry sauce. These are absolutely to die for as is their Seared Beef Carpaccio with an arugula and tomato salad drizzled with Salsa verde. They always have a huge amount of "specials" on offer and if you haven't been there recently for dinner I suggest that you call up immediately and make a reservation. You will be guaranteed an outstanding evening out. But don't for God's sake order any Limoncello after dinner - as I stupidly and regrettably did last night! There is a flock of woodpeckers hammering on the inside of my skull as I type this.

My recipe compilation this week are just some delectable little treats that are tried and tested and have been eaten with great gusto. As there seems to be a glut of scrumptious Bermuda bananas around at the moment I suggest that you give that one a try and all of the others for that matter. Most of them have a rather high sugar content, so be careful and keep the music down low!

Bermuda Rum Bananas with rum Syllabub

Serves 6

6 bananas or more depending on size, cut on the diagonal into 1-1/2 inch slices, 3 tablespoons Black Seal, 1/3 cup large raisins, 3 tablespoons brown sugar, 1 tablespoon grated orange zest, 1 teaspoon grated lime zest, 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice, 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice, butter for greasing

Syllabub - 2 tablespoons Black Seal, 2 tablespoons lime juice, 1 tablespoon brown sugar, 1/2 cup thick cream, whole nutmeg

Half an hour before cooking place the raisins and rum in a small bowl and soak for half an hour. Make the syllabub by putting the rum, lime juice and sugar in a bowl, whisk and leave for ten minutes to allow the sugar to dissolve. Pour in the cream and whisk until it forms stiff peaks then put in the fridge. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Butter a gratin dish and sprinkle half the sugar over the bottom. Lay the bananas on top, sprinkle over the rum and raisins followed by the lime and orange zest and the juice. Finish by sprinkling over the remaining sugar, cover with foil and place on the top shelf of the oven.

Cook for 20-25 minutes, remove the foil and cook for a further 5 or so minutes. Re- whisk the cream and spoon over the top adding a little freshly grated nutmeg. This dish is excellent either hot or cold.

Spiced Apple and pecan Crumble with Mascarpone Vanilla Cream

Serves 6-8

1 pound tart cooking apples, 1/2 pound Golden delicious, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves, 1/3rd of a nutmeg grated, 1/2 cup raisins.

Crumble - 1/2 cup pecans, 3/4 stick butter cut into dice, 3/4 cup self-raising flour, 2 teaspoons cinnamon, 1/2 cup Demerara sugar Mascarpone cream - 1 cup mascarpone, 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1 cup fromage frais, 1 tablespoon brown sugar You will also need an 8X11-inch baking dish that is 2-inches deep - lightly greased.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. Core the apples and cut into thick slices. You can either peel them or leave the skin on. In a bowl, toss the apples with sugar, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and raisins. Place this mixture in your baking dish. In the bowl of a food processor whiz up the flour, butter, cinnamon and sugar. Process until it resembles bread crumbs. Next add the pecans and process a little but not too much as you want to have them still slightly chunky. Pour this mixture on top of the apples and pat down around the sides. Press it all down firmly as the more compact it is, the crisper it will get. Bake in the oven for 35-40 minutes or until the apples are cooked and the top is nice and brown and crispy. For the Mascarpone cream just whisk all the ingredients together and chill in the fridge.

Chocolate Bread and Butter Pudding

Serves 6 Should be prepared 24-48 hours in advance

9 slices, each 1/4 inch thick of good quality white bread, 1 day old and taken from a large l oaf, 5-ounces dark continental chocolate with 75% cocoa solids, 1-1/2 cups whipping cream, 4 tablespoons Black Seal, 1/2 cup sugar, 3/4 stick butter, a good pinch cinnamon, 3 large eggs, chilled whipping cream to serve, or use the above recipe for the Mascarpone cream Use a 7x9-inch ovenproof dish (2-inches deep) lightly buttered.

Remove the crusts from the bread and cut each slice into 4 triangles. Place the chocolate, shipping cream, rum, butter, sugar and cinnamon in a bowl over a saucepan of barely simmering water, do not let the bowl touch the water. Wait until the butter has melted and the sugar has dissolved completely. Remove from the heat and give a good stir so that the whole thing amalgamates. In a separate bowl whisk the eggs and add to the chocolate mixture, whisking continually to blend it all together. Spoon about half an inch of this mixture over the bottom of your baking dish. Arrange half the bread triangles over the chocolate in overlapping rows. Pour half the remaining chocolate mixture all over the bread as evenly as possible, then arrange the rest of the bread over that finishing off with the rest of the chocolate. Use a fork to press the bread down so that it gets covered very evenly with the liquid as it cooks. Cover the dish with plastic wrap and allow to stand at room temperature for 2 hours before putting in the fridge for a minimum of 24 hours but preferably 48 before cooking. When ready to cook preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Remove the plastic wrap and bake in the oven on a high shelf for 30-35 minutes. By this time the top will be crunchy and the inside soft and squidgey. Leave it to stand for 10 minutes and then serve with the chilled cream or Mascarpone cream