ELMO the Sesame Street muppet is the Major Irritant of The Week. I've always been a big fan of Sesame Street but I have to confess, I hate Elmo. For those not from this planet, Elmo is the red materialistic one who jabbers on endlessly about having a new pair of clogs.

Jeesh, get a life, Elmo, how about putting some clothes on to go with the shoes? I swear this puppet must be sponsored directly by Payless or Wal-mart.

In my day there was no Elmo. There was no Barney either. We all lived quite happily with no Barney The Purple Dinosaur and no Elmo the shoes hound (not to be confused with Celine Dion or Imelda Marcos).

I think not having them is why my generation of '70s kids are slightly less sadistic than the '90s kids growing up now. At least we knew how to pull up our pants and not walk around with them hanging around our knees.

It's the syrupy sweetness and high-pitched banter that drives me insane. If Elmo were a real kid he would be permanently locked in his room, by parents with mental health stats worn to a nub.

Besides the Elmo mistake, I like the show. I'd want my kids to watch it. I prefer the older episodes to the newer ones. What I like about the programme is the rampant inclusionism. What other children's television programme has two male "buddies" who live together and share a bedroom?

I learned my first and only word of Spanish from Sesame Street, agua, and then there was the sign for butterfly. And every day, even in the Seventies, the show would host children from all walks of life, mentally handicapped children, children from all races, religions, genders and intelligence levels.

They even had a little Inuit song about when it's cold outside I put on my comigluk (or something like that). And they were sincere about the inclusion. With many programmes you can feel the reluctance. They have one black person, one Asian person and six white people and this is supposed to portray the rainbow effect. Give me a break.

THERE'S about a hundred children's television programmes trying to copy Sesame Street and none of them measures up. What is this Blue's Clues business? God, I tried to watch two minutes of it and it was mind-numbing. Talk about dumbing things down. Unfortunately, I don't think Sesame Street has been the same since creator Jim Henson died. The increase in rampant exploitation of the Sesame Street product has increased as evidenced by the incessant pushing of Elmo.

A friend of mine with a two-year-old was telling me the show doesn't even feature Oscar The Grouch any more. If he's there, he only makes occasional brief appearances. I find this sad. Why does everything have to be sickly sweet?

Kids learn very quickly that life contains more flakes than marshmallows. (Thinking about it, there aren't any marshmallows in Life Cereal, but that's beside the point.) The point of Oscar is to counter the Elmos on Sesame Street, which in the real world usually turn out to be mental cases.

Nobody can be that chipper all the time and be completely sane. Oscar teaches kids that not everyone looks at the world the same way.

And just because he looks at things differently, doesn't make him bad. One man's garbage is another man's art, so to speak.

In a sense, Oscar has a different culture than the other denizens of the Sesame 'hood.

Therefore, Oscar is a more useful tool to use to teach tolerance to children, than bouncy, brainless Elmo. And that's important, far more important than a new pair of shoes.