THE idiots who don't want the Filipinos in the Bermuda Day Parade are the Major Irritant of the Week.

Coming back from the United States - where a terrorist attack could be imminent - I landed with a bump in a world where the biggest worry are the foreigners in the Bermuda Day Parade.

Never mind that people in the US Congress are, as we speak, attempting to bring Bermuda's international business industry to a crashing halt. Never mind that all the brand-new buildings in Hamilton could soon become large and luxurious pigeon coops. Never mind that we don't have anything but a decrepit tourism industry to fall back on. Never mind that half of the Bermudian population could, in the next five years, find itself immigrants in someone else's parade.

No, while the rest of the world is hunkering down, our biggest concerns are the funny-looking people in the Bermuda Day Parade.

I find it ironic that so many Bermudians natter on about how badly their ancestors were treated, but have no problem treating others just as poorly. Let me give you an example. Recently, I was visiting a Portuguese-Bermudian who lived in a very nice home.

After she was through telling me about how hard her ancestors had it, and how hard her ancestors had to work, she left the room. She came back complaining bitterly that the maid didn't know how to iron her underwear properly. She went on for quite some time about why the maid didn't know her business better and so forth. It surprised me that this person couldn't make the mental leap from how hard her ancestors worked for other people, to how hard her maid was working for her.

And along the same vein, it's surprising that those people complaining about the strange-looking people in the Bermuda-day parade - many of the complainers black Bermudians - can't make the mental leap from these immigrants on the parade float to their own West Indian immigrant ancestors who surely participated in more than one Bermuda Day Parade in the past.

Does anyone complain about the imported calypso music that's so much a part of every local parade I've ever been to?

I love the Bermudians who think Bermudian history and culture consists solely of English and Caribbean, and some Portuguese influences. Someone needs to write a book about the plight of other Bermudians on the island - the ones descended from places other than Portugal, the West Indies and Africa, the ones who weren't allowed to attend any school at all because of their race.

You'd be surprised. I was talking to some Bermudians recently who said some of their ancestors came from Peru, of all places.

And take a look at my picture. I'm living proof other races besides black and white have been a part of Bermudian culture and history. I'm living proof that the Centre for Unity and Racial Equality's racial check boxes are inadequate. Take one last look at the New Queen Restaurant on Par-la-ville Road before it's demolished.

That was started by a Chinese man who came to this island at least 90 years ago. Over the years, immigration tried to stop Chinese people from bringing in their families because they didn't want them to multiply and muddy Bermuda's "crystal clear" racial waters. For the effectiveness of this policy, again, turn to my picture.

For those who don't want the non-Bermudians in the Bermuda Day Parade, it's like my father always says: the tide always turns. Treat people the way you want to be treated. One day, you may be knocking on these funny-looking immigrants' door, hand outstretched, asking: "Remember me?"

Pick up a newspaper, Bermuda, the tide is turning.