While Hester is certainly not averse to sending or receiving Christmas cards, she can't help but feel that manufacturers are really cashing in at the moment.

Popping into the Phoenix Stores last week to select a card for her other half, Hester was staggered by the plethora of 'special occasions' that Hallmark and others have 'invented' in a bid to make us buy up more of their tat.

Whole shelves were taken up by such categories as 'New Cat' and even more bizarrely, 'Congratulations on Your Divorce'.

Perhaps Works and Engineering Minister Alex Scott might eventually be in line for a 'Big Project Completion' card if Berkeley ever gets finished while he's still in office. And of course Transport Minister Ewart Brown must have been as pleased as Punch to receive a 'US Citizenship' card.

But the top two two in Hester's list of totally unnecessary - if not inappropriate - sentiments?

No doubt Lt. Col. Eddie Lamb will relish sending out 'Congratulations on Joining the Military' to all those lucky lads called up for Boot Camp every year. And obviously those creative boys and gals at Hallmark were 'on a roll' when they came up with this gem - 'Well Done on Becoming Potty Trained' ("You've learned to use the potty, So here's a big hooray, For a kid who's just fantastic, In every single way.").

Hester just hopes it's a long way off before she receives a jolly message in the post congratulating her for the onset of her senile dementia.

And still with cards. A friend of Hester's was surprised to receive a Christmas greeting from none other than former UBP Senator and Minister for Cultural Affairs Yvette Swan this week.

Why the surprise? Well, while Hester might enjoy skipping through the corridors of power on the odd occasion, her friend has never met the good Dr. Swan in her life.

Is it any wonder then that, although her correct Christian name had been typed out on the printed address sticker, Hester's chum has always been known to all by her middle name.

And what was that strange nine digit number doing on the address label?

And why didn't two other housemates receive a similar greeting card? Anything to do with the fact that, being expatriates, they are not on the electoral register?

Could it be that Dr. Swan, who lives around the corner from Hester's galpal, has her eyes on the next election and has planned a butter-up blitz on all her constituents? Ah, isn't the spirit of Christmas just wonderful?

This year's festive slap on the wrists goes to... The Elbow Beach Hotel's Seahorse Grill restaurant.

Hoping to book a table at the sumptuous five star resort for New Year's Eve, Hester phoned up to ask what vegetarian fare might be on the menu.

The reply? Absolutely nothing, although the voice on the other end of the line did helpfully advise that, if Hester could come up with some suggestions, they'd see what they could do.

At $150+ a head, Hester was rather hoping that some top-notch chef could devise a menu. Are vegetarians still that much of a minority?

As reported in Monday's Daily, our friends in the House on the Hill enjoyed a bit of a sing-along last Friday night, when, after hours of debate, they were rewarded with a quick recital by 60s' songsmith Peter Yarrow, of Peter, Paul and Mary fame.

But Hester was a little perturbed however to read that MPs across the political divide seemed all too familiar with the words to 'Puff the Magic Dragon'.

Your columnist had always been led to believe that the catchy little ditty is in fact one big reference to the smoking of illegal substances.

Perhaps our elected representatives are modelling their careers on the example of Bill Clinton?

There was definitely a whiff of something - perhaps an end-of-term feeling - in the air during the last session of the year's House of Assembly. Madam Premier, who appears to be going blonder by the day, was in jovial spirits throughout the evening and kept up the bonhomie well into the early morning. But perhaps our glorious leader could set a better example by actually listening to the Opposition's position on Caricom, rather than playing 'hangman' or similar game with Delaey Robinson throughout John Barritt's monologue.

Hester's spies spotted the pair passing pen and paper between each other and giggling like naughty school children throughout a good half hour of the debate.

Only in Bermuda. Hester hears that certain 'guests' of Her Majesty's Prison in Bermuda have been getting an intense - albeit brief - work-out recently.

One Westgate resident was spotted bolting from the Magistrates' Court with a Prison officer in hot pursuit , while one of the DPP's finest watched in amazement. Hester understands.

However, that the hapless prisoner didn't get very far. He ran into the grounds of Sessions House where there were a number of other Prison Officers guarding a number of prisoners being kept in the cells there.

The very next day two prisoners were seen trying the same trick, making a desperate dash for freedom from the court building, this time with a Police officer in hot pursuit.

Once again the escape was cut short though, as the fleet-footed pair ran directly to the front door of the Hamilton Police Station to escape a torrential downpour!