Hector has always been an if-it-ain't-broke, don't-fix-it type of man ? especially when it comes to people wasting cash which could have come his way. That's why he is a little annoyed what ? no doubt inspired by a highly-paid, marketing think tank ? has done. Hector didn't grumble too much when his favoured Rosemont branch underwent a bit of a facelift last year, even though he didn't see anything wrong with the old interior. But now the dust has literally settled, Hector has just one nagging question ? which bright spark decided that, to compliment the new user-friendly decor, bank tellers should all be clothed in a uniform of bright orange sweatshirts? Every time Hector now enters the doors he thinks the place is being ransacked by a bunch of escaped Westgate inmates ? not the sort of thing that inspires confidence. Memo to bank manager: Ditch the marketing gurus, consultants, consumer survey analysts and above all, the prison uniforms and let your staff dress in the smart yet individual business suits they used to. If you have money to burn then put a little bit more interest on Hector's depleted account, 'cos he is broke and he would like to fix it.

Budget time sees hacks putting in over-hours with little thanks from the politicians they are sent to cover. Wednesday's Cabinet Office debate on plans for Gov-Prop 1 predictably had putting the boot into . Hector says predictably because he struggles to think of a time when Mr. Lister thought it necessary to rise to his feet and speak about anything else.

One hard-pressed hack confessed her mouth watered at the sight of the feast the UBP's and tucked into while Maxwell Burgess tucked into his long-winded response to the budget on Friday.

Mrs. Gordon-Pamplin and Mr. Barritt had clearly realised they were in for a long haul and laid out on their desk three enormous bags of sweets which they stuffed into their mouths with an enthusiasm usually only seen in those under the age of ten.

Hector's spy was a tad upset that despite frequent yearning glances at the big bags of candy, neither of the Shadow Ministers offered a nibble. Her misery was compounded when she realised that Deputy Speaker Jennifer Smith was also chomping away on some snack or other she had stashed away under her seat. Hector has resolved to come better-prepared for next year's interminable economic debate with a picnic hamper and a few bottles of wine.

Talking of feeding, what's eating , Hector wonders? One of the PLP's more intellectually gifted performers, known for her quiet demeanour, now seems to have descended into the race-baiting ranting of more excitable colleagues. Responding to queries from about Government spending ? pretty standard stuff for a Budget debate I think you would agree ? she seemed to have taken it personally, retorting with a stream of invective, complete with a sideswipe about inherent privilege. Dr. Gibbons must have felt like the man in the Monty Python sketch who books himself in for an argument only to get someone screaming abuse. Or maybe the questions were a little too high-brow for Paula who, in response to opposite number , felt it necessary to bring up her hairstyle. Hector wonders whether the same accusation from a man would have led to heated accusations of sexism.

Hector's heard of some cheeky cops at Hamilton but this one takes the cake.

As Hector's female friend drove past the Hamilton Police Station on Parliament Street she was pulled over by two Policemen standing outside.

"Do you have a licence?" they asked.

She was about to look for her driver's ID but was no way near ready for what came next.

"Are your eyes always that colour?" the Policeman asked.

Realising the stunt was an elaborate pick-up, she got back on her bike and rode off, leaving the two lonely cops with each other for company.

The Ministries of Tourism and Transport have been joined since July 2004, when quit Cabinet citing "irreconcilable differences".

So Hector can't understand how after nearly two years, PTB still has the names of two long defunct hotels ? Marriott Castle Harbour and Sonesta Beach ? scrolling along the fancy new TV screens at Sparky's bus terminal.