If the recently staged production of "Premier Scott: International Man of Diplomacy" is any indication, we've opened a new chapter of Alex in Wonderland. Down the rabbit hole and off to Washington DC we all went last week, with the Scott hype machine firing on all cylinders for this highly orchestrated image makeover.

Desperately in need of some high-powered, well-connected statesman mojo, the Accidental and unaccomplished Premier embarked on a long overdue visit to our most valuable friend and economic partner.

While the Premier delivered such awe-inspiring pronouncements like "very few countries get that kind of access", "they now know the Premier by name" and noted that the trip had been the highlight of his political career, reality paints a very different picture.

Even the most casual observer of Bermuda politics would be aware that this trip was by no means 'unprecedented', nor did it provide a higher level of access than we've been afforded in the past.

This trip confirmed an uncomfortable but undeniable truth: decades of close relations with our closest ally have been squandered during the PLP Government's eight year tenure. You don't have to believe me, listen to the words of the US Government's representative in Bermuda on his return from the whirlwind visit:

"For ten years both Governments, frankly, did not speak to each other too much."

We'll attribute the ten year comment to some diplomatic rounding error Mr. Slayton is a diplomat after all but the Consul General bluntly pointed out that dialogue between Bermuda and the US came to an abrupt halt on the PLP's ascension in 1998, while relations with Cuba and Caricom flourished.

For every junket our jet-setting Cabinet have taken to the Caribbean, Europe, the Middle East or even Brunei over the past eight years, not once have they found the time to call on our closest trading partner, a mere two hour flight away.

It's Mr. Slayton who deserves the credit for taking the initiative and organizing this brief meet and greet; a refresher course on just whom our friends are. We should thank him for that, despite his co-starring role over the past two weeks in the creepy Premier-Consul Mutual Adoration Society.

On the other-hand, Mr. Scott remains so characteristically self-absorbed with his new found and weighty world power player status that it's not clear he's taken the hint. From the Premier's perspective this visit was little more than a shallow opportunity to seek some desperately needed uplift for his sagging popularity; an attempt to gain some street cred and position himself as the viable leader of a dreamy independent Bermuda where all problems vanish as we hold hands and sing kumbaya around a campfire.

Nonetheless the reviews are in; at least the Premiers are, in a textbook example of the self-graded exam:

Mr. Scott boldly laid out his agenda to the world's superpower on their home turf: relax the travel stop list, set up a coast guard outpost and give us our respect as a financial jurisdiction.

The meetings were presented very much as a one-way street: behold our very own international man of diplomacy telling US lawmakers what they can do for us.

Message: Alex Scott is the chosen one to lead us to the promised land of independence, at which point tiny Bermuda will assume our rightful place on the world stage as a powerful micro-state. [Cue nationalistic music and video of Bermuda's new PLP Green flag waving majestically in the breeze.

Reality: That's best left to the Consul. In responding to questions about the stop list, "The Hat Guy" put it all in succinct perspective when he said that "we don't need to be importing felons to our country ? if you want to maintain the right to travel don't get involved in crime, even smoking drugs."

Translation: Not a chance, but thanks for showing up.

In two short sentences the Premier's pipe dream goes up in smoke. Admittedly one can't understate the entertainment factor of our legends-in-their own-minds Cabinet, but it's time to emerge from the rabbit hole with our eyes wide open.

The moment for a dose of hard political reality is long overdue for the gang that can't shoot straight but have delusions of grandeur.

We're a politically insignificant spec in the middle of the Atlantic; a unique spot on the map which has achieved success like few others, the continuation of which is by no means guaranteed. We'd all be better served if the PLP Government accepted reality, dropped the sideshows and showmanship, and re-focused on our historically winning formula of "think global, act local" to borrow a phrase.

We're by no means perfect, but the Bermuda miracle can be attributed to a coupling of an entrepreneurial spirit and a brutally honest self-awareness that we'll never be a world player. Pretending otherwise is either delusional or dishonest; but primarily it's self-destructive.

We've prospered both socially and economically through an understanding that the homegrown issues and longstanding friendships deserve our utmost attention. Vanity projects like Independence, Cuba and Caricom are irresponsible and potentially damaging.

This visit was better late than never. It's a shame that it's taken eight years and a US Consul to make it happen.

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