Hester hears that a contemporary - although far less well-read - gossip columnist from Blighty has launched a broadside at our new Governor.

Nigel Dempster, who compiles a daily diary page for The Mail, - a London-based middle market tabloid - recently had this to say of our newly arrived Queen's representative.

"Five months after giving me a less than enthusiastic response to the news that he was to be Bermuda's next governor, some islanders are wondering whether career civil servant Sir John Vereker really exists. 'We don't see much of him,' says one. 'There have been scarcely a dozen mentions of him in the island's newspaper. He clearly doesn't get out very often. Why couldn't they have sent us someone a bit more interesting?'"

Initially Hester had her doubts about Dumpster's Island source as - ever the socialite - your columnist has enjoyed the company of the charming and ever so dapper Sir John and his equally elegant wife on many an occasion.

Nevertheless, in the interests of investigative journalism, Hester decided to put Dumpster's theory to the test.

Contacting Government Information Services and then the Cabinet Office, Hester proffered up this simple poser. The name of the Governor's wife if you please.

Amazingly civil servants at both departments were completely stumped, despite making extensive inquiries within their own offices .

Hester is happy to report that Deputy Governor Tim Gurney did give the correct answer - Judy - without a moment's hesitation.

So are Sir John and Lady Judy really keeping a low profile? Hester knows that's not the case, but obviously those civil servant types who keep the wheels of Government turning need to get out more often.

Is romance really dead? Hester feels forced to ask after hers was the lucky name pulled out of the hat in a recent restaurant draw.

Now far be it for Hester to scoff at a free scoff but... The prize that Le Figaro Bistro and Bar was dishing out in its monthly give-away? Lunch - for one.

Now while there might be some advantages in a solo romantic candlelit dinner - the awkward question of which of the many wannabe suitors to choose from obviously doesn't crop up for a start - Hester can't help but feel the generous bistro could do a bit more to keep the fires of l'amour stoked up. Would lunch for two be too much to ask? Or is the French fooderie simply offering up one free plate of fodder in the hope that the solo diner will bring along a companion anyway - who of course will then have to pay the full price. Hester suspects a scam going on here. There is, after all, no such thing as a free lunch.

Uncle Sam just can't help having a dig at this patch of paradise nestling by his side can he?

Hester was glued to her favourite political soap, 'The West Wing', this week and was thrilled when the plot centred on Bermuda

But in what would appear to be another futile attempt to discourage US companies from relocating here for tax evasion purposes, the US Government couldn't resist using this otherwise totally absorbing programme to portray us as some Third World backwater.

For those who didn't catch it, the storyline involved a US-bound jet carrying terrorists that had to be diverted in order for the free world to be saved.

And the dumping ground? Why little old us of course. Nothing wrong with that you might think, and I'm sure Madame Premier and her entourage would be more than willing to help out Jeedubya given the opportunity.

But what stuck in Hester's throat was the description of Bermuda's airport given by some FBI suit during an intelligence briefing - "a bit of tarmac in the middle of a field" - obviously forgetting that the Pentagon built the place.

Clearly the 'West Wing's' scriptwriters didn't attend Transport Minister Ewart Brown's airport celebration party last month.