Some tourism ideas

May 6, 2010

Dear Sir,

I was overjoyed to read Dr. Eva Hodgson's letter published May 5, in which she asked readers to recommend solutions to "our current tourism challenge". It was such a positive letter, asking for constructive input.

In response to Dr. Hodgson's open invitation, I rummaged through my spontaneously-written but unsent letters, and came up with this:

I read with interest the Tuesday April 13 article by Ruth O'Kelly-Lynch headed "Premier to lead Tourism tour of UK"

"As part of the road show, Bermuda will host 300 guests at the Café de Paris (London, Piccadilly)."

When I was last at The Café de Paris, an ageing but beautiful blonde songstress and celebrated film star in a dress studded with glittering gems with a bodice contoured to suggest timeless youth, sang: "Won't you buy my illusions, second-hand, almost new.... They were lovely illusions, and they're all about you "

I have to ask again, as many Bermudians have, why, when the Island has millions and millions of paying customers within a less than three-hour direct flight away, would anyone want to divert manpower and finances to less response-productive selling of the Island's tourism qualities?

Please consider the following :

1. Even if Bermuda were to successfully garner less than one percent of the population of the US East Coast, that would be more people than the Island could accommodate.

2. The average income of the high density cities on the East Coast is high, and the desire for vacations in the sun is waiting to be fulfilled.

3. Most major US East Coast catchment areas have direct short flights to Bermuda.

4. Huge sums of money have been already spent on these areas, building a goodwill and recognition of excellence which cannot be surpassed.

5. Where one has a high response rate and returns time and time again to market to those same groups, the response rate remains significantly higher than a cold call to other districts, countries, and continents. It is one of the key analysis factors in professional tourism marketing.

6. Pampering the travel agents and travel writers is a modus operandi of the past. The would-be vacation traveller is online looking for immediate opportunities offering value and booking hotels and flights directly. Even the mature travellers have caught on.

7. Some Bermudians have sneered at the tourism industry and referred to it as a "servile" industry, while the rest of the world calls it a "service" industry and reaps the rewards to their economies and their peoples. A complete rethink is necessary. What does it cost to smile, be pleasant, and offer a pleasantly memorable stay, with a subsequent nostalgic longing to return? And, what, pray, does it matter if a waitress cannot speak The Queen's English? If she knows the menu and the wine list and is pleasant and attentive – why would you find yet another excuse to harangue the hoteliers and put their backs up yet again?

Are we sure that the underlying reason is not the desire to control that which by its very international nature is uncontrollable at a provincial level? Besides, and I hope we all take this in the kindly manner in which it is meant, the Bermudian dialect can sometimes be so architecturally complex that the verbal structure underneath can remain invisible to translation

8. But, even supposing that CPR could be applied to the tourism industry where are people going to stay? Most major hotels have been forced into closure or closure for "renovations", laying off staff and escaping from the payroll, health cover, and pension commitments, and paying unproductive employees. If the unions would work with the government, with the Department of Immigration, and the major upscale hotel chains, surely a compromise between holding a gun to the heads of the investors and guaranteeing lifelong entitlement to the union members whether they work enthusiastically or not could be reached? No one in their right minds is going to invest shareholder money in a multi-million dollar hotel caught up in a web of politics and employment regulation.

I say de-regulate the hotel industry.Take all the brakes off. Encourage investment free of strictures and threats. Bermuda should have the five most upscale hotels in the world situated here, able to freely conduct business in the same way as the international financial sector. Bermudians could expect to piggy-back off the created job market and the additional dollars in the economy, but not dictate to it. That policy failed in the past and now the hotel infrastructure is at its most miserable.

We should sell Bermuda to the hoteliers, not expect them to come on bended knee to us. And to do that an inducement package has to be on the table. Freedom to set up shop without strangulation regulation. It would take brave politicians to sign off on such an idea. And while they are at it – let them find a way to safely partially deregulate immigration, because the protectionism wrought by good intentions has detrimentally affected Bermuda's competitive edge and work ethic.

The reality is that when you are in danger of ruin and bankrupcy, the remaining sane do not dictate to those capable of saving the economy.

9. At the present rate, Front Street, once the jewel in Bermuda's crown, and responsible for a massive amount of Bermudian direct and indirect employment and revenue for the Government, has been destroyed. Why and how is a complex matter, and the blame game is not fruitful. But now is the time for a phoenix to arise out of the ashes by a commitment to the remaining companies, and to new entrepreneurs who will take the places of the old swept-away names. Get those cruise ships back. And forget all this nonsense about gambling: if they want to gamble, let them gamble. Holy Catholic Ireland was made rich by The Irish Sweepstakes, and the Bible-thumpers and the churches did not have a say in the matter. The American Indians have become rich from gambling. Monaco and Monte Carlo have made a virtue of it. It's been around since Adam took a gamble. And Las Vegas and other gaming meccas have contributed to the American Gaming Association's 2007 revenue figure of $92 billion dollars. Let's cut the hypocrisy: if it's OK for Bermudians to gamble in Las Vegas, then it should be OK for Americans to gamble in Bermuda.

10. Now, here's something really worth cogitating upon. Unlike the legend of "The Golden Goose", not one, but two golden geese wandered into Bermuda's backyard. They were fed and groomed and laid the proverbial golden eggs, enriching the farmer and his family. Only, the farm workers mainly from the "other side" of the family weren't sharing in this treasure trove. They protested, the farmer muttered reluctantly and truculently and grudgingly gave way: they took over the farm. But at that stage, one of the golden geese, ill-used and starved, was mortally ill, and the other wasn't certain that it was a good idea to hang around in case it should befall the same fate.

Feeding and restoring to good health the dying golden goose was seen as disloyalty, and pampering and grooming the other golden goose was seen as disloyalty. It was important to be seen to treat both golden geese as superfluous to requirements as the wealth of the farm deteriorated and the debt-collectors and bailiffs and mortgage-holders sniffed at the gate. The new family is faced with a decision. What to do?

The traditional basis for decisions was based not on pure reason, but on the inequality of the past and its attendant baggage. How does the new family free itself from shooting itself in the foot and free itself to make informed decisions which are free of the past and are based on pure reason, practicality, and judicious necessity? On pragmatism, and not on prejudice?

A new freedom has to be fought for. A freedom to choose what is best for the island's future generations, regardless of the past and regardless of unquestioned loyalties. Starting afresh begins with reviving the dying goose, and tending to the other goose's needs.

Because there is nothing else to generate income for the farm.

May I repeat that in case anyone missed it: "Because there is nothing else to generate income for the farm."

"They had a touch of paradise, a thrill you can't explain," the blonde film star sang, melancholy. I noticed that the pink under her gathered lace halter was not her, but in fact flesh-colored fabric, to hide the wrinkles.

She continued, holding the microphone stand for balance: "For in this crazy paradise, we are in love with pain "

A last and not entirely unrelated note. I could name you at least ten popular classic films where Bermuda is referred to in warm and enticing lines. Get estate/copyright/licence approval and patch together those clips and the island will have one of the best TV adverts that any resort destination ever had. And, quite coincidentally, the legendary glamorous actress /singer described above appeared in one of those films, directed by an equally legendary director who once visited Bermuda.

TACITURNUS

Warwick

Thought for the day: Nostalgia can be a powerful force for good when it remembers its crimes and excesses as well as its triumphs and successes.