What do you call a bank that takes your money and then won?t give it back? You call it the Bank of New York.

BNY has the Bermuda Government?s money, for investment purposes. Its people made a splash at the Island?s Captive Conference last month. BNY clearly loves Bermuda, but it is not so hot on Bermuda residents.

I visited a branch of the bank this week in Manhattan, at the corner of 5th Avenue and 21st Street West. Ugly circumstances last week had forced me to spend unexpected extra time in New York at the end of my vacation, and I had run out of money. So I walked from my hotel to the nearest bank, which was BNY. I was sort of pleased: it holds whatever my pension contributions are currently worth, and I drew comfort from that. Wrongly, as it turned out.

In support of my request for a cash advance, I presented my MasterCard, driver?s licence and passport. The teller wasn?t happy with foreign documents. He scrutinised my driver?s licence, front and back, as if it were written in a language he did not understand.

Then he went away, and returned to advise me that I could have no more than $500, even though my documents and my credit balance were in order.

I said $500 would do, and he proceeded to read my passport as if it were an unusually gripping novel. It isn?t gripping at all. He then attempted to rub the page with water, to see if I?d recently printed it myself. Then he went away again.

He returned this time to tell me that the card was unsigned. It is signed. I?ve used it rather more than I should, but you only have to look at the signature box to see that it is signed.

?It?s signed,? I protested, ?and you have my passport and driver?s licence.? I have the misfortune to look exactly like the photographs on all my documents.

?Sorry, can?t help,? the man said. I asked to see his supervisor.

The teller manager at the branch stepped forward. She made it plain that, although the bank accepted MasterCards and gave cash advances, I wasn?t getting one. I asked to see her supervisor.

The assistant treasurer of the branch, stepped forward. No cash for me. I then explained that I was a business reporter. That changed the dynamics somewhat. ?If you sign the card, we?ll give you the money,? she said.

Well, what kind of system is that? The card was already signed. My passport is signed. My driver?s licence is signed.

I went to the next bank, a branch of Citibank. I have no money in that bank, but they could not have been more helpful. They asked me to sign various cash withdrawal documents, but were quite happy to accept the credit card as it was.

The transaction took a few minutes. I apologised to the teller for the trouble I was causing her, acutely aware after BNY that my business is not that desirable.

?There?s a lot of steps, but it?s not a problem,? said the Citibank teller.

It is a condition of modern life that some employees of service organisations have lost the thread. They fail to understand that the customer ought to be treated with respect, and is the source of their economic well-being.

I have experienced this problem at first hand regularly, perhaps because I look scruffy, although at BNY I was indistinguishable from any other business person, bar the ponytail.

What can you do when haughty employees lay their power on you? Not much. BNY couldn?t care less whether it earns the tiny fee that it would derive from a cash withdrawal, or from all the tiny fees on all the cash withdrawals I would ever have made in my life.

But I?ll tell you this: if the chief executive officer of BNY were to find out that his people are treating customers as unwelcome guests, he?d have a fit.

The individual is the lowest element of the capitalist structure. In New York City, with its millions of potential customers, there is probably no formal need to provide good service. But woe betide the organisation that encourages bad attitudes, because history is dotted with a greater number of corporate corpses than success stories.

When you read in a company?s promotional material that ?service is the key?, a statement similar to which is in every company?s brochures, you?d better believe it. And then you?d better hope that they do.

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