The quiz in this space a couple of weeks ago brought two responses, which may have had something to do with it being nonsense. Although — Martha Myron, our resident actual genius, only received one more entry for her real quiz.

By an odd coincidence, both winners of my contest share the same name: Anonymous. One asked to be listed that way, and the other is the “head honcho of a company listed on the BSX”, and we don’t want his company to collapse if investors were to read that he has nothing better to do with his time than to enter idiotic quizzes.

Despite the obvious fullishness of the entire venture, here are the questions again and the answers, in case anyone other than the winners (and Mr. Editor, who found a mistake in the original) was paying attention.

1. The following sentence contains an error of fact. What is it? “The company went bankrupt.” <$>

Only individuals go bankrupt, or declare bankruptcy. Companies enter into liquidation. Bet you didn’t know that.

2. An investment pays interest at the annual rate of 5.0 percent, paid half-yearly. If you invested $100 on January 1, how much would you have at December 31?

(c) $105.06 because of compound interest, one of the secrets of getting rich. Let your savings work for you and never let them take a vacation.

3. Why should you save money? (a) because I tell you to (b) because you might need money in your old age (c) because it is a sensible discipline that will improve your personality (d) because you already own enough junk to last a lifetime.

All four are correct.

4. Over the past 100 years, which investment has proved to be the most rewarding: (a) stocks (b) bonds (c) bank deposits (d) Anna Nicole Smith’s breast implants? <$>

Obviously the straight answer is (a), but there is an argument that Anna Nicole’s investment in enhancement surgery paid the greatest dividend, since she attracted an old geezer with about $90 million of assets for what would have been a $25,000 investment. See? Humorous and yet true: your newspaper dollars at work.

5. Why do ostriches stick their heads in the sand?

They don’t.

6. What does it mean when the value of a stock is quoted “ex-dividend”?

(b) A person buying the stock does not have the right to receive a dividend declared but as yet unpaid; the dividend belongs to the registered owner of the stock when the dividend was declared. Shares that are declared ex dividend are often quoted “xd” in newspaper listings. In theory, and often in practice, the price of the stock drops right after a dividend is declared by the amount of the dividend, because after being declared “xd”, its value is at least nominally reduced by the amount of the dividend.

7. How many roads must a man walk down before he reaches Dockyard?

One contest winner answered: “One road. Just keep going west until you get there,” which is good enough for me. The other, more technically correct, wrote: “It depends upon where he is starting out from.”

8. Why are you taking this quiz?

(a) I’m keenly interested in getting rich slowly.

9. What is another way of saying 0.125? <$>

(a) an eighth.

10. What was Albert Einstein’s job before everyone recognised that he was a genius? <$>

(b) Patent clerk. Patently obvious, innit?

11. If you save $100 a month on the first day of each month, and interest is 5.0 percent annually, paid monthly, how much would you have at the end of a year?

Answer, courtesy of the contest winner: (d) $1,279.59, because of compound interest. I have not checked this answer, because I have been sorely pressed for time this week chasing a damsel in distress. She wasn’t in distress until I started chasing her.

12. Christmas is coming. Which is the best way to decide how much to spend on gifts for loved ones?<$>

The correct answer was (a) make a list of loved ones, place a maximum amount of money you’re willing to spend next to each name, and limit yourself accordingly.

Not being a Christmas person, I prefer answer (c): fly to Nepal next Thursday, live in a hut, and return sometime in March. And yet — I have never been to Nepal. Weird, eh?

13. Why is another name for profit “the bottom line”? <$>

(c) because a profit and loss statement starts with income, deducts expenses, and then shows the resulting profit or loss on the bottom line.

14. Who makes up these questions? <$>

(c) A team of financial controllers from Bermuda’s insurance community. More or less. I made up the questions, of course, and I used to work as a financial controller in the insurance industry, but am always too bashful to take credit for my work. And yet — I’ve never been to Nepal.

The “head honcho” got it wrong. He wrote: “Having employed you many years ago, I know the answer is definitely (d) Roddy “The Axeman” Trott.” Employing me was obviously his first mistake.

15. If the annual interest rate is five percent, would you rather have (a) $100 now (b) $107 a year from now?

The answer is (b) unless the interest rate is above seven percent annually and you can be bothered to invest the money. Consolation point to the “head honcho”, who wrote: “At my age, and relative worth, $100 today or $107 in a year’s time is not going to make any difference to my life but (c) a good cup of tea, a biscuit and a lie-down would definitely improve my present well-being, and that of those around me, so (c) it is.”

My friend the honcho then asked a question of his own: “Why did you not display this high level of financial acumen when you worked for me those many long years ago?” The answer is that I deliberately under-performed to make him look better. Now he runs a giant empire. Am I good, or what?

16. Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?

This is one of a series of such questions, which includes: Who wrote Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto? and Who formulated Fermat’s Theorem? Or was it Who fermulated Format’s Theorem? I forget.

Serious stuff next week.crombie[AT]northrock.bm