The 10,000 delegates at the RIMS conference in Dallas had lots of presents and parties thrown their way during the week. The tradition seems to be that each company tries to outdo the other in "thanking'' and "attracting'' their clients. Give them bread and circuses to keep them happy. The risk managers took it all in their stride and by the end of the week the glut of booze and late nights seemed to be taking its toll on quite a few party animals. Cigna, whose property and casualty division is being acquired by ACE Ltd., threw a dinner party for 1,000 people. The company hired Bill Cosby as part of the entertainment for the evening. Another company threw a free concert with country and western star Charlie Daniels.

*** The Bermuda splash at the Dallas Art Centre was tame by comparison. The hall was a bit crowded due to its small size and only a small exhibition was open for viewing. Most people kept talking when the Premier went on to talk. Some people used the elevators by mistake, which security had forgotten to turn off. They ended up viewing a lot of the upstairs galleries setting off numerous security alarms along the way until guards caught up with them.

You can tell Bermuda was well known among many people at the reception. Many were asking for a Dark 'n Stormy without any prompting. Unfortunately, the popularity of the drink meant that the black rum ran out half way through the event.

*** It's amazing what people will do to get a freebie. At the exhibition hall some exhibitors were catering to the basest instincts in man. Free pens, snazzy key rings, stress balls, draw prizes of electronic notebooks, chocolate-covered pretzel sticks baked on the spot, fresh popcorn, and cognac samples were among the handouts. The Bermuda booth gave out a canvas bag filled with magazines and these were a popular item.

Was it because they were a handy item to carry out all the stash? The ACE Ltd.

bag was also a popular item. The Allianze booth had a real fortune teller set up who read the cards for delegates, presumably telling them if a disaster was about to hit their company and whether they should take out insurance. Another company had an area with three pool tables where an expert showed off various tricks.

*** The saddest sight was managers, who make an average of $151,000 according to a RIMS study, queue up very sheepishly to receive a free T-shirt in return for depositing their card at one of the booths at exhibition hall.

"That's nothing,'' one of the Bermuda delegates manning the Bermuda booth said. "You should see them come around and take one of the bags when they think we're not looking. As if we don't see them. All they had to do was ask.'' Bermuda handed out 2,500 Bermuda bags during the week-long event.

*** Premier Jennifer Smith seemed to enjoy walking around the exhibition hall stopping in at some booths which featured Bermuda companies. The requisite picture was taken along every stop.

She was given a yellow rose at the Marsh Inc. booth and somewhere along the walk picked up a cowboy hat. She showed interest in one booth which featured a cartoonist who drew people -- from behind. It was humorous. "Get your butt drawn,'' said the booth attendant. "If your butt is too big we'll make it smaller. If it's too small we'll make it bigger. We'll make your butt look good.'' While walking away I wondered aloud where I might put such a drawing.

"In the bathroom,'' Ms Smith replied.

*** Ms Smith was wearing a name badge which had the word "Premier'' boldly labelled on it. As she was touring the booths she stopped off to shake the hands of three people manning the Cigna booth. Befuddled, they tried vainly to read her name as she shook their hands. "Who was that?'' one of them asked after she left. "I think it was the Premier of Bermuda,'' the other said.

"I guess we were graced by her presence,'' the third said, not without a good dash of irony in her voice.