Reading the trade magazines on computers and the Internet sometimes involves learning a whole set of new words to describe various activities. `IRC Attack Linked to DoS Threat' a Wired magazine story on January 12 proclaimed.

In the story a techie -- nerd, propeller head, information technology worker, whatever you want to call him or her -- complained that a computer company's lack of attention to its network had "made it easy for the script kiddies to attack them''.

In plain English, the story was about how Undernet, an Internet hosting service provider, had failed to protect its Internet relay chat (IRC) service from denial-of-service attacks launched over the New Year. Still confused? Here's a small guide to understanding the language of the new millennium.

IRC is an online discussion system that enables people connected anywhere on the Internet to join in live discussions. Unlike older chat systems, IRC is not limited to just two participants. Once a chat has been initiated on one of the many discussion groups or channels on the Internet, either user can enter text by typing on the keyboard and the entered text will appear on the other user's monitor.

A denial-of-service attack (DoS), is a type of attack over a computer network that is designed to slow down a system or network so it can't be used by flooding it with useless traffic.

`Script kiddies' is a newish term. I could find no definition in most computing dictionaries on the Internet. Webopedia defined `script' as another term for a macro or batch file containing a list of commands that can be executed without user interaction.

The Jargon Dictionary (http://info.astrian.net/jargon) is on top of the culture however. The dictionary defines script kiddies as: 1 "The lowest form of cracker; script kiddies cause mischief with scripts and programs written by others, often without understanding the exploit. 2. People who cannot program, but who create tacky HTML pages by copying JavaScript routines from other tacky HTML pages. More generally, a script kiddie writes (or more likely cuts and pastes) code without either having or desiring to have a mental model of what the code does. 3. Someone who thinks of code as magical incantations and asks only `what do I need to type to make this happen?''.

Hey, that sounds like a description of myself! A "cracker'' meanwhile is a form of ''hacker'', or according to the Jargon Dictionary, what hackers like to call those who commit nefarious and sometimes illegal deeds over the Internet or on someone's computers.

`Hacker', according to Webopedia, began life as a slang term for a computer enthusiast. Professional programmers used the term for amateurs or a programmer who lacked formal training. The term could be either complimentary or derogatory, although it is increasingly gaining a derogatory connotation through the popular press, which uses it to refer to individuals who gain unauthorized access to computer systems to steal or corrupt data.

The Jargon Dictionary is kinder to hackers. It describes a `cracker' as someone who breaks into a computer system. "Whereas crackers sole aim is to break into secure systems, hackers are more interested in gaining knowledge about computer systems and possibly using this knowledge for playful pranks.

Although hackers still argue that there's a big difference between what they do and what crackers do, the mass media has failed to understand the distinction, so the two terms -- hack and crack -- are often used interchangeably.'' I think they're fighting a losing battle to differentiate between a "playful prank'' and a serious attack. These days everyone is considering a break into any system as a serious threat.

Meanwhile the Jargon Dictionary shows its true colours as a hacker creation when it discusses the different language used by crackers.

"Misspell frequently. The substitutions phone to fone and freak to phreak are obligatory,'' the authors state.

"Always substitute `z's for `s's. (i.e. 'codes' becomes 'codez'). The substitution of 'z' for 's' has evolved so that a 'z' is now systematically put at the end of words to denote an illegal or cracking connection. "Type random emphasis characters after a post line (i.e. 'Hey Dudes! !$ $! !$').

Use the emphatic `k' prefix ('k-kool', 'k-rad', 'k-awesome') frequently.

Abbreviate compulsively ('I got lotsa warez w/ docs'). Substitute `0' for `o' ('r0dent', 'l0zer').

TYPE ALL IN CAPS LOCK, SO IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.''