Opinions were mixed as to whether the inaugural "Bermuda Gathering of Men 2000'' conference at Sonesta Beach on Saturday lived up to expectations.

Judging by the turnout of 210 from 275 men who registered, the general consensus is that a men's forum of this type was badly needed in this community.

Yesterday the organising committee met to discuss holding a mini conference in the next few weeks as a follow-up to the ground-breaking event which was attended by men from various backgrounds and ages. A third of those attending were in their 20s or younger.

The discussions ranged from the tragedy, hurt and displacement of families caused by fatherlessness, the ingredients to responsible parenting and the importance of men in the rearing of their children. Developing positive relationships with significant others and evoking the spirit of forgiveness to the conditions of the past that prevented men from realising their full potential were also discussed.

Coming in from overseas were Adeyemi Bandele, Rev. Cochise Brown and Dr. Akmai Muwwakkil who shared their considerable personal and professional experiences and training to exhort men to draw up the significant contributions of the ancestral fathers while developing for themselves visions for the future.

Participants were divided into nine groups which facilitated the sharing of ideas and pooling of information. Each group included youth, middle-aged and senior men to ensure a wide range of experiences and input into the discussions.

Two of the areas of concern expressed by some attending was that there wasn't much in the way of open forum dialogue, with men speaking freely about the issues affecting them and getting feedback from the three visiting presenters.

"They were very conscious of time, they said they normally do this type of conference in three days, and they condensed everything into one day,'' Conference secretary Brenton Roberts pointed out.

Conference chairman Bryant Richards is also satisfied the objectives were met: "It proves the concept was good, but we recognised we didn't have time to develop topics fully. We proved the concept is a workable concept,'' he said.

"Now in the second phase, instead of having so much area to cover, maybe we can take that one specific area and work with that. Remember there were three presenters and they had three specific areas that needed to be addressed.'' Each group had a facilitator, recorder and timekeeper, with the participants in each group -- ranging from 20 to 25 men -- interacting amongst themselves.

The idea, said Mr. Richards, was to utilise the resources available, namely the experience of the elder members.

"That was one of the reasons for having an elder in your group, so that we can start using the resources that we have at hand,'' he explained.

"The other thing that took a lot of guys by surprise was that it was so interactive. They expected to come and listen and didn't expect that they were going to participate so much.'' The other issue of concern was the sometimes graphic language of one of the presenters who spoke on health issues, especially with one boy in attendance being only 11 years old.

"I thought on the odd occasion he was a bit graphic, but I don't think the language used you would not find in a biology book,'' said one attendee.

"Overall I thought anybody who might be disappointed would have come with a preconceived notion of what to expect.

"Where we take it from here is the big question. They never alluded to that in the end. Do we have one next month or three months from now?'' Assured Mr. Roberts: "It's a tremendous opportunity but it doesn't stop there. We never went into it as a one-shot deal. We recognise men in Bermuda are suffering and have issues.'' In response to suggestions by some that language by one presenter was too graphic, considering the presence of young boys in the audience, Mr. Roberts replied: "There was descriptive language about the parts of the body that are known to various people in various ways. You will appreciate that we had a broad cross section of people in the room and to those persons we apologise for any offence that may have been caused.

"But what was happening was some people were unable to interpret what he was talking about, so he brought it down to the very base level. He brought it to the level of everybody that was there so that we could all understand.'' It was noticeable from comments made that men's relationships with their fathers was a main topic of concern. In the morning session three men spoke openly of such, as they recounted often strained relationships with their fathers.

"In the beginning it went well and I enjoyed the dialogue,'' said a participant.

"In my group there were a lot of guys who were ready to open up but it never happened. We had a 13-year-old say his relationship with his father was not a good one, that his father had remarried and pays more attention to his half sister.

"What Cromwell Shakir suggested, and we all agreed, is that this young man continue to reach out to his father. Like we say in the church `kill him with love'. Eventually something is going to take place in the father's life where he is going to reach out to his son.'' Added the participant: "I wouldn't say it was an outright disappointment, I'm sure many guys got what they wanted out of it. I do think it's a step in the right direction. Saturday was just trial and error.'' Said another: "I'm of the opinion it needs to happen more. Men in general need a variety of options to overcome some of their personal challenges.'' The conference concluded on Sunday with a `Sonrise' Service which acknowledged the start of the healing process and celebrated families and significant others in the lives of participatants.

Certificates of participation were issued to all enrollees and the organisers are urging those who attended to fill in their evaluation sheets and return them as soon as possible so that feedback can be gauged ahead of the committee's meeting today.