Strolling back to his grandfather's home from private tuition, the young Arun Gandhi cast a critical glance at the three-inch pencil in his hand.

"I need a new one for my studies,'' he said to himself, and instinctively hurled the offending stub into some bushes.

That evening, during an hour he spent with India's feted spiritual leader Mohandas K. "Mahatma'' Gandhi, Arun asked for a new pencil.

What followed first baffled him, then embarrassed him, and finally turned into a lesson he would never forget.

"I was subjected immediately to a lot of questions,'' he recalled last week in a speech at Sonesta Beach on non-violent parenting.

"My grandfather asked me why I had thrown away the pencil and where. I really could not understand why he was making such a fuss over such a little pencil.

"He toId me to look for the little pencil, and after I protested `it's dark', he handed me a flashlight.'' Mr. Gandhi remembered the acute embarrassment he felt as he spent two or three hours scouring the bushes for the pencil stub.

He finally found his trophy, and brought it to his grandfather.

His reward was a lesson in non-violence, and the sanctity of the world's natural resources.

"He told me to imagine if 100 million children threw away their pencils. How many trees would have been cut down in vain? "Because we waste, we overconsume, and we are depriving other people of resources and they have to live in poverty.

"That is violence against nature, and it is violence against human beings.'' Mr. Gandhi concluded the point his grandfather was making half a century ago: "If we take care of the little things, we will save the world.'' The theme of his speech last Thursday night was "Non-Violence Or Non-Existence -- Options For the 21st Century''.

He had been invited to the Island by The Learning Centre of Bermuda, a registered charity which provides a wide variety of services, including tutoring, behavioural counselling and an after-school programme.

Last Friday and Saturday Mr. Gandhi and his wife, Sunanda, who run the Memphis-based "M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence'', held a series of workshops in Bermuda, spreading their message.

A key part of the message is that parenting should be a non-violent activity; and spanking should be avoided.

"When you spank, you are teaching a child that when you don't like something you beat up other people,'' Mr. Gandhi told the Sonesta Beach audience.

Born in 1934 in Durban, South Africa, Mr. Gandhi grew up amid the pain of apartheid and the hatred of racism.

"What really traumatised me were the early beatings I suffered,'' he said.

He recalled being subjected to vicious, racial attacks by gangs of white and black youths; attacks which led to a burning rage within him.

When he was 12, he was sent to live with his grandfather, who was spearheading India's campaign for independence.

"One of the first lessons grandfather taught me was how to deal with the anger seething within me.

"He said anger was like electricity, and was just as powerful a source of energy, and can be as deadly as electricity if you abuse it. But we are able to channel that energy for the good of humanity.

"He asked me write an anger journal. He said `Go to your journal and pour out all your anger into the book. It will give you a written record of your emotions'.

"Several days later I could read it back and see what changes had been brought about in my character.'' Mr. Gandhi told of a later incident which also had a far-reaching effect on him; this one involved his father.

He had been asked to drive his father 18 miles to a conference, and then pick him up again at 5 p.m. that day.

In the meantime, he was to get the car serviced and help his mother by buying some groceries.

After carrying out the first two errands, the 16-year-old Arun decided to grab the chance to see a movie.

"I realised they were showing a double feature, and by the time I got out it was 5.30 p.m.

"I went to pick up the car, and when I went to where we had arranged to meet, my father was pacing up and down. He asked me `Why are you so late?'.

"For some inexplicable reason I decided to lie and said: `The car was not ready.''' The lie, however, was exposed; for Arun's father had already rung to find out the car had been serviced on time.

"My father asked me why I was lying and said: `There is something wrong in the way I brought you up. I have to punish myself. I am going to walk home'.

"It was 6 in the evening and yet there was nothing I could do to make my father change his mind.'' Mr. Gandhi recalled his inner anguish as he drove the car at snail's pace behind his father.

"I could not drive on without him, and crawled behind him all the way home.

It took about five and a half hours -- and every moment was utter misery for me.

"I kept saying to myself `Why did you lie?'. I decided I would never lie again. It was a profound lesson in non-violence.'' Had his father yelled at him, Mr. Gandhi believed the lesson would not have been learned.

Mr. Gandhi concluded: "Some violence may be necessary in our lives ...but we ought to be able to reduce violence to a bare minimum.

"That is what we ought to aim for today to make this world a better and safer place for us to live in.''