Valentines day has long passed; those in the first throes of a new romance and those wedded, whose relationship is still on solid ground reaffirmed each other once again in a ritual that traces its roots to time immemorial.

For the rest, dissatisfaction with each other has become grounds for permanent separation. Truly one of the saddest things to see is the schism between two people who started out on the path to wedded bliss in such a positive joyful ceremony. The reality is that more than 50 percent of marriages still end in divorce; second marriages are almost as high. And statistics note that many of these unions first start to erode because of the strains of managing finances.

No one likes to talk about divorce, for good reason. the personal shame, the perceived sense of personal failure that you could not make it work, and the humiliation (in many cases) that there must be something wrong with you or him /her, all lend themselves to a distortion of a normal psyche that may have residual effects for years.

For the children, in bitter custody cases, it may be felt for a lifetime. Why does this happen? Companies, partnerships, large and small routinely go through dissolution, for a myriad of reasons. And for the most part these are handled far more smoothly than the union of two. Careful management of companies builds in for exit and dissolution strategies, knowing full well that in the most basic sense, things change. With a termination strategy, everyone knows what to do. With divorce, other than a few pre-nuptial exceptions, no one likes to have a contingency plan. fearing that you may be "doomed from the start''.

Because of the severe emotional aspects of divorce, it has been said that it is one step away from a death in the family. From a financial perspective, for the lower income earner who is usually the female (sorry, I do try to keep things gender neutral but this is the way life still is), divorce is literally stepping down into welfare.

The old adage that "two can live cheaper than one'' is still true. the saddest cases that I have ever seen were ladies over 55 years old (they had never worked because back then you stayed home and raised the children) who were virtually penniless.

They had come for financial advice because they were trying to cope with tax implications of selling their home (the only one in some cases), taxable distributions from the spouse's deferred compensation or pension plan and no money to live on, let alone pay a large tax bill.

In most instances, these ladies were too young to collect Social Security (by at least seven years) and too old to qualify for much in the way of employment because they had never worked outside the home.

And it can be absolutely overwhelming to look around at personal possessions, real estate, memorabilia, just to start with. The equation becomes compounded with a couple of total confused children in the picture and the need to have current income to live on.

Since every dissolution is unique, these are only some of the additional items that must be addressed: assessment of rights to future pensions; rights to current and projected earnings; rights to stock options; changes in beneficiaries and rights to life insurance; rights to deferred compensation; rights to increases in earnings for a highly skilled professional (this has come about because of the situations where one spouse worked at any job, thereby sacrificing a career, in order to put the other spouse through university, medical school, etc.); rights to a fully paid education and career retraining (if you were the person who put the spouse through school); rights for children's education; custody rights; tax exemption rights; tax liability issues from prior years joint tax fillings (in US and other countries); and what if you were married prior and already have additional responsibilities for a prior family.

Some spouses become so worn down emotionally that they just five up....

assets, rights and so on that can have severe implications in the future.

Other spouses as we have all seen have an agenda from the start of the marriage, that of realising the maximum from the assets and investing the minimum in the relationship. Fortunately, those types of individuals are not too common. That's just some of the personal issues.

Couples tend to forget that you must be aware of the time value of money. Even a small bit of inflation can diminish the value of future fixed payments.

Years wasted in the inability to agree upon a final settlement number, erodes the value of your assets as sure as your dumping them into the sea.

Opportunity cost (also known as a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush) must be considered and weighed carefully against some future payment.

Longevity factors and mortality tables need revision. It is pretty difficult to tell a 45-year old female that according to the Duxbury formula she only needs sustenance until she is 82. Financial Planners know that this age group is now being predicted to live until 105 and beyond. That is a significant difference of 20 years. and finally, it should be recognised that dollars are not the only measure of value in a relationship.

Readers needing specific assistance should seek advice from an experienced professional financial advisor or seek legal assistance. By Martha Harris Myron CPA CFP, Certified Financial Planner