I have a few US dollars in a local money market fund. The interest rate, for some time, has been 0.0000 percent per annum. Or per millennium, for that matter. That will give you some idea of how well things are going economically, but that's not the point I want to make.

Of late, I've been asking myself why I keep the money in the fund. If it's earning nothing, calculated to four decimal places, wouldn't it be better off in my current account, or under the mattress, or in my wallet, where at least I could flash it at the chicks? I was going to write about some alternatives, but that last sentence has kind of persuaded me to put it all in my wallet and flash it at the chicks. Stand by, chicks.

Um, where was I? Oh yes. If it's doing nothing, what alternatives should I consider for investing this piece of my life savings? There are stocks and shares, except that everyone seems to think we're about to enter the second half of a double dip recession, so that idea doesn't fill me with enthusiasm.

There are bonds, except that if the global economy starts to recover, interest rates will start to rise and that will drive down the price of bonds. Given that Messrs. Obama, Brown (G), Sarkozy and all the other incompetents have borrowed trillions they have no means of paying back, interest rates must start to rise at some point. So much for bonds.

I could buy a one-year certificate of deposit, earning 1.25 percent per annum, but then I couldn't use the money if a chick wanted to run away with me. Chicks don't like to pay for themselves, I hear.

Gold is at an all-time high, which is almost never a good time to buy anything. Gold buffs tell me that an ounce of gold will pretty soon cost $5,000 or $10,000, but I'm not buying those forecasts, or any gold either.

The art market is depressed, but I don't know anything about art. Antiques are just old things, and I've already got one of those (me). What am I to do? The chicks idea is actually starting to look good.

Thinking about it, I realised that what the world's leaders want me to do is to spend it all, and fast. If that's what they want, I won't do it. The point is that having savings matters, whatever rate of interest it is or isn't earning. If I were to spend it all on, say, a cashmere dressing gown, when things get back to normal, I'd be broke. Warm, but broke. It's taken me decades to save the dough, and I intend to use it when I'm old and decrepit, ie next Thursday.

On this subject, I have an apology to make. For many years, I have been droning on and on about the need to save money. Suddenly, the people of the US and the UK have taken my advice and are saving money, most of them for the first time in their lives. The US saving rate is five or six percent. In the UK, it's slightly lower, but they're still saving. Bermudians might be saving too, for all I know, although typing those words, I find them hard to believe.

So my work is done. You'd think I'd be pleased. And yet...as a result of all this excellent fiscal behaviour, the world is now suffering from what John Kenneth Galbraith called the "paradox of thrift". The money being saved isn't being spent, well duh, and that's bad news for the global economy. The whole ball of wax only works if everyone buys flat-screen TVs and boats and lard and furniture and cashmere dressing gowns. Until people stop saving and start buying useless junk, we'll never get the economy going again, and I'll never earn any interest.

So. Am I going to tell you to nip out and buy a new hat? Nope. Keep saving, is my advice. Let Americans and Brits lead the world out of recession. You do the smart thing and hang on to every dollar like a politician hanging on to office, i.e. with grim determination. Buy a round-screen TV, if you must. They're cheap and useless. You'll feel worse and then you'll start saving again. Trust me; it's the way to go.

And if you're a chick, prepare to be impressed. You may never have seen $1,300 in cash before, but if you stick around, I'll let you look at mine. And then I'll look at yours. Why is my editor screaming at me?

* * *

Last word on computer backups. Apparently, carbonite.com is the answer to the back-up problem, as several readers have advised me.

The following e-mail is typical:

"Interested to read your article about back-ups - you can never remind people about this enough! You made some good points in your piece, especially about having an online backup. I have external hard drives holding both current and archived work, and I also keep the latter on DVDs, but off-site back-up is critical - if your house gets burnt down or you have a burglary, you're screwed! Also, your storage media, even external drives, will go bad at some point or be overtaken by new technology with more capacity and better security (anyone still using floppy disks out there?), so I would recommend transferring them every so often, maybe every three to five years.

"My main offline back-up is the excellent Carbonite (www.carbonite.com), which offers unlimited backup for $55 a year and gives you remote secure access to your files from anywhere with a connection. Many other services have limits and charge you per gig. Carbonite backs up everything on your hard drive - I currently have 120g stored offline. The initial backup can take days, but once it's done, it works seamlessly in the background, backing up new or altered files incrementally. Probably the best $55 I've ever spent on any software.

"I also use Dropbox (www.dropbox.com) for current stuff I'm working on, plus essential contact and personal information. They have a free, very easy-to-use 2g service. You literally drag and drop stuff onto a desktop folder - and it also syncs with my iPhone so I can access it anytime, anywhere. You can pay for a premium 50g service.

"I know a lot of people have reservations about cloud computing and I would certainly make sure you have local backups as well, but services like GMail, Google Docs and Quickbooks Online have saved me so much money and hassle as a small business that it's not funny.

"By the way, Lifehacker is a great site for everyday tech advice. Here's their list of best online backups: www.lifehacker.com/5405041/five-best-online-backup-tools."

So there we have it. Save money. Save computer data. Save the whales.

Have a great weekend.