Bermuda residents visiting the UK on British passports should note that, under proposed legislation, it will soon be illegal to leave the UK without first completing, at least 24 hours ahead of the planned departure, a Government form on which travel plans must accompany passport details and credit card numbers. The latter will allow Her Majesty's Government to charge you if you end up in need of help in some beastly foreign country.

The law is nominally aimed at tracking terrorists, and in the name of such activities, each of us will have to conduct an exit interview with an Immigration official whenever we leave the UK. The British Government will maintain a database of all arrivals and departures for 10 years. Bermuda residents who are British-domiciled should factor that into their behaviour, so as not to spend too much time in the UK and fall foul of the taxation cost of so doing.

A number of facets of the proposed law that will affect Bermuda residents have not yet been spelled out. It is not plain, for example, whether the new legislation will extend to those resident outside the UK who visit Britain carrying a British passport. It seems likely to be one of those occasions where it will be easier to just complete the forms than to attempt to parlay with the Immigration Officer with whom one will conduct the exit interview.

I imagine that airline tickets booked ahead will obviate the need for advance written warning of an intended departure. The new rules will, however, bring to an end the practice of popping over to France for the day on the spur of the moment.

I am going to spare you the endless gallons of vitriol that I would like to throw at the elimination of personal freedom this new law entails, but will say that I am unable to distinguish this behaviour from that of the vilest regimes ever to be entrusted with power.

The previous round of reductions in personal freedom in the name of terrorism resulted in us all having to trudge down to the banks we'd had relationships with for 50 years and prove our identities. Fat lot of difference that made; we all behaved ourselves, and then the banks destroyed the world's capital.

Also, if you are planning on visiting the UK and renting a car, you must carry your passport when you attempt to rent a vehicle, or you will not be able to rent a vehicle. This is all very depressing, so I will lighten the load - while throwing in a major credit card warning - by telling you of my experience when I tried to rent a car from Budget in central London last week.

I booked a car online, reading as much of the small print as a fellow can reasonably be expected to read. At the rental shop, I presented a valid credit card and a driver's licence with a photo on it. I was asked for my passport, which I had not thought to bring with me. "No passport, no car," the man said.

I had to think fast. "Er, I live in London," I said, lying, "so you won't need my passport."

"Quite right, Sir," the man said. "I'll need to see your gas bill."

I said: "I don't have gas at my house."

"Your electric bill then," the man said.

"Nope, sorry, don't pay the bills," I said. "The missus does that." There was no lie I would not have told at that point, because I was expected for dinner 200 miles away in not much more time than it would take to get there if I drove the entire way at 120 miles an hour.

"No electric bill, no car," the man said.

"Can't you help me out?" I begged.

"No," the man said. "We need to see your gas bill for the insurance."

Now both of us were lying, so I slunk out of the hateful shop unable to rent the car, saying as I left: "Please note that in the deepest recession since the 1930s, your customer, who wants to spend a lot of money with you, is leaving without spending any money." He looked at me with incomprehension, unable to see how that might affect him.

Fifty dollars' worth of taxi rides later, I reappeared at the shop with my passport. It took 25 minutes to find a car for me. By this time, I was out of my mind with anger and did not read the credit card slip when I signed it. Do not try that yourself. I later discovered that I had been charged the agreed £160 ($225) for the rental, but the man had taken - not blocked on my account, but stolen, as it were, from my pocket - a further £550 ($770), being a deposit that no one had mentioned to me.

This was 10 days ago. The deposit has yet to be returned to my credit card.

At the yard where the cars were, some miles way (to avoid the congestion tax charged on vehicles entering central London), I was given a horrid car instead of the nice Volkswagen Passat I had ordered. "We don't have any Passats," a man said. "In the contract it says we can give you any car we like of that class."

I drove off, without noticing until it was too late that the car was a wreck and that the fuel gauge showed half-empty, despite the fact that I had been charged for a full tank of gas.

So there. Be warned. It cannot only be Budget that operates all these scams; it must be every rental car operator in the UK. Next time, I am taking the train.