Watch out for these top ten Internet scams reported after a year-long study conducted in nine countries by law enforcement officials. The top ten scams were culled from Consumer Sentinel, a database of more than 285,000 consumer complaints established and maintained by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC).

Unlike David Letterman's top ten lists these are not funny. The top ten targeted scams were: Internet auction fraud, Internet service provider scams, Web cramming, credit card cramming, pyramid scams, business opportunities and work-at-home scams, investment schemes, travel fraud, telephone pay-per-call solicitation frauds (including modem dialers and videotext), and health care fraud, according to the FTC. Australia, Canada, Finland, Germany, Ireland, New Zealand, Norway, the UK and the US were involved in the study.

Internet auction scams involve a promise of advertised computer software and electronic consumer goods at various e-auction sites that are never delivered.

An example of an Internet provider scammer is a company that mailed $3.50 "rebate'' cheques to consumers. When consumers cashed the cheque, they were unwittingly agreeing to allow the defendants to be their Internet service provider, and the defendants started placing monthly charges on their telephone bills. The defendants made it nearly impossible to cancel future monthly charges and get refunds.

Web cramming involves billing consumers for a Website page they didn't even know they had. The targets are small businesses and not-for-profit organisations. Scamsters will call and offer a "free'' Web page, but then make charges against phone bills without authorisation.

Credit card cramming involves billing consumers' credit cards or phone bills for services they did not order or authorise.

The FTC also reported civil court cases charging the operators of adult-oriented Web sites and their principals with cramming. The FTC has asked the courts to shut down the adult sites and freeze the assets of two, pending trial, for ripping off thousands of consumers.

In one other type of scam consumers may inadvertently download a modem dialer when downloading files from a site. The software will then shut down your modem and redial a long distance call routed through a country like Nigeria.

The consumer won't know what is occurring until they receive their phone bill which will include charges for the long distance call, plus additional charges that go to the site operator.

One work-at-home medical billing scam allegedly made deceptive earnings claims on the Internet and in print ads to promote its $369 package of "training, software and clients''.

Two other FTC cases announced in November involve Web site operators who illegally promised quick riches with little risk to consumers who would sign up for their day trading programmes and products. The companies have agreed to settle with the FTC. The settlements require substantiation for any future earnings claims; bar misrepresentations about day trading risks; and require conspicuous disclosure of the high-risk nature of day trading and bar the deceptive use of testimonials.

For details of the list and the court cases go to www.ftc.gov/opa/2000/10/topten You have to love this story about a keen hotel owner and guest, even if the advice given could result in a dead modem. Bob Green of Anguilla, who operates a kind of diary about the island at http.news.ai, reported that since September 10 he has been in Italy and filing reports from there.

"I have my laptop and a bag of phone and power converters, plus an international AT&T account and three Italian ISPs,'' he wrote on the site.

"This allowed me to connect to the Internet, read my e-mail from Anguilla, and update the news site. However, I was frustrated in several hotels by my computer modem's refusal to recognise the switchboard dial tone. It would not dial, so I had to use Internet cafes instead. Finally, after complaining at the Il Moresco hotel on the island of Ischia in the Gulf of Napoli, the director of the hotel showed me the error of my ways.'' Allessando Leonessa was going to let me use his e-mail, but when he heard my problem, he said: "Do you have Windows? Just click the modem option to bring up a terminal window before dialing, then type atx3 and Enter. This tells the modem to dial anyway, even if there is no dial tone. I had the same problem when I connected the hotel's computer to the Internet.'' Cute but no cigar. I haven't tried that trick yet but in current versions of Windows you can turn off the "Wait for dial tone'' directly into the "My Computer'' in Program Manager and clicking on "modem'' and "properties''.

Click on the ''connection'' tab to turn off the "wait for dial tone'' feature.

Be wary of connecting to the Internet through a hotel switchboard. More and more hotels and offices are also starting to put in digital telephone systems (PBXs). Connecting to a digital system could fry your modem. A digital line tester (which costs about US$50) will tell if the hotel has a PBX system. You can also get a "modem minder'' from www.teleadapt.com This gadget won't allow a modem to connect if it detects a digital line.

To connect to a digital system you'll need either an acoustic coupler to physically attach the handset to the modem or you can use a digital interface that plugs into the telephone via the handset jack. The acoustic coupler also allows you to connect via a pay phone.

Do not attempt this bit of weirdness. At the CD-R (a rewritable CD) list (pcline.epfl.ch/zuzu/cdr--faq one bored propeller head decided to try microwaving a few of the discs.

''I'm not recommending you put a CD into a microwave,'' he or she writes.

"CDs may contain metals that will cause your microwave to arc, destroying the microwave emitter (see cautions about metal objects in the manual for your microwave). Don't try this at home. Better yet, don't try this at all.'' The writer put the CD-R shiny side up in a bowl of water "so it's nowhere near the top, bottom, or sides of the microwave... Turn off the lights.

Programme the microwave for a three-second burst, and watch the fireworks.'' Performing this operation on replicated CDs results in blue sparks that "dance along the CD, leaving fractal-ish patterns etched into the reflective aluminium. For those of you not with the programme, this also renders the CD unreadable.'' Great. Needed to know that.

Looking for a new computer to give yourself for Christmas? For those in the know the hottest deals may be a refurbished system, which if you chose right can result in less grief because it usually has been thoroughly tested. Be careful of difference between "used'' and "refurbished''' when buying. A refurbished system is defined as a computer returned under warranty for one reason or another that have been fixed but can no longer be sold as new.

Savings reportedly range from 10 percent to 30 percent. Companies like Dell Computer and Gateway sell them with the same warranty and customer support plans as new systems.

Tech Tattle deals with topics relating to technology. Contact Ahmed at ahmed yelamin.com or (33) 467901474.

TOP TEN SCAMS These are the ten most common Internet scames, according to the Federal Trade Commission: Internet auction fraud Internet service provider scams Web cramming Credit card cramming Pyramid scams Business opportunities and work-at-home scams Investment schemes Travel fraud Telephone pay-per-call solicitation frauds (including modem dialers and videotext) Health care fraud Source: Consumer Sentinel, a consumer complaints database maintained by the Federal Trade Commission which covers complaints from Australia, Canada, Finland, Germany, Ireland, New Zealand, Norway, the UK and the US.