Dear Annie: My “Aunt Judy” has been vicious to her in-laws (my grandparents) and my family for years. She’s easily offended, and I can’t help but think she’s holding on to some old, hidden grudge.

Judy’s daughter has cancer, and Judy posts on a website for families. She writes comments saying her in-laws are “cold” and never lift a finger to help. This is not true. The most recent fib was when my grandparents invited her for dinner, and she declined, stating she had plans. When I went to the website, she had posted that “the evil in-laws” had invited the whole family to dinner except her.

Judy has a large circle of Internet friends who visit this website. She doesn’t need to make up lies to get their support, but I hate that they believe such horrible things. My grandparents bend over backward trying to get along with Judy and have helped her in a number of ways, including baby-sitting for the other children during the many hospital trips she’s had to make.

We dread every holiday and family get-together because of Judy. But my grandma is adamant about maintaining a relationship so as not to lose her son or grandchildren. Judy often sneers behind my grandmother’s back, and I’m about ready to take a picture and post it on that website so everyone will know how nasty she really is. What can I do to help? — Niece of a Liar

Dear Niece: As tempting as it may be, exposing Judy as a liar will not make her a better daughter-in-law. She is insecure and needs to set herself up as the victim in order to garner sympathy and feel liked. Also, her daughter has cancer, and this is causing additional stress and misplaced, inappropriate blame directed at her in-laws. The best way to help is to let your grandparents know how much you love and respect them. This will mean more to them than you k.

Dear Annie: I am a married, 44-year-old mother of three, but I’m starting to feel like I’m back in high school.

We live in an upscale area. For some reason, we are excluded from many social events that most of my friends and neighbours are invited to. Our kids are friendly with the children of these families, and we have invited the families to our home for dinners and get-togethers. We also do a tremendous amount of volunteer work, coaching and working in the schools.

We feel shunned and can’t figure out why there is no invitation in our mailbox. I am ready to move out of town and start over. It is difficult to be excluded and still face these families nearly every day. I try to keep a stiff upper lip, but after a while, it droops. We would love your insight. — Neighbourhood Pariah

Dear Pah:<$> If you are on friendly terms with these people, we have no idea why you aren’t included in any of their social gatherings. It’s time to ask one of your mutual friends what’s going on and perhaps to intercede on your behalf. We hope it will turn out to be a misunderstanding that can be quickly remedied.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Holding My Nose.” Sometimes severe body odour and a general lack of hygiene are associated with severe depression, particularly in teenage girls. As a young dermatologist, I had occasion to treat a teenager whose body odour preceded her into the room. When I examined her, it was easy to see she rarely bathed. Her underwear was not clean and she was horrifically depressed. Despite excellent psychiatric care, she ultimately took her own life. Sometimes body odour is a sign of serious emotional problems and should not be ignored. — Torrance, CaliforniDoc

Dear Doc: How heartbreaking. Thank you for pointing out that symptoms of depression can come in many forms.