Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without at least one new Bermuda book to buy, but this year it seems readers will have several to choose from.

Among them are the following:

Cartoonist Peter Woolcock's fourteenth edition of ‘Woppend', a compendium of cartoons which have appeared in The Royal Gazette between 2001 and 2002.

To each drawing, the talented creator has added a brief historic synopsis of the story behind it, and once more it is bound to be a firm favourite with Mr. Woolcock's faithful followers.

‘Woppend 14', with foreword by Senator Alfred Oughton, is available in local bookstores and pharmacies at $13.95.

Imminent is the Bermuda National Trust's fourth historic buildings book project, ‘Hamilton Parish', written by Diana Chudleigh, with an introduction by Edward Chappell, director of architectural research at the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation.

Representing years of hard work in which many people, including a battery of volunteer researchers, have had a hand, it is beautifully produced and will provide endless opportunities for a fascinating read.

For the first time, the cover is laminated, not paperback, and it will retail for $29.95.

A limited, deluxe edition has also been produced, which will retail for $100.

The body of the book outlines the history of the buildings in Hamilton Parish, as well as the stories of its people.

It also includes a detailed chain of ownership of 68 buildings, some inventories, and even a will.

A detailed index provides excellent assistance to readers and future researchers alike.

In compiling ‘Hamilton Parish', the author widened the content to include more members of the community, so those who are interested in black history in the area will find items of interest throughout the book.

Despite years of hard work, Mrs. Chudleigh modestly claims only partial credit for the finished product.

“The book would not have been possible without the help of a great many people,” she says.

“Most of all, I am grateful to the house owners who were so patient with us, and who have waited a long time for this book.”

A full list of contributors is included in the book.

Certainly, the dedicated author found her involvement with the National Trust's latest publication an enriching experience.

“Writing the book was extremely interesting, and I learned a great deal about the parish in which I live.

“I moved to Shelly Bay six years ago, and seem to have been researching or writing the book ever since,” she says.

“However, I am not planning to move to Smith's Parish, which is the next book to be written!”

It is hoped that ‘Hamilton Parish' will be available in bookstores and at the Trust headquarters at ‘Waterville' in Paget sometime next week.

Meanwhile, the Trust is taking advance orders at its headquarters.

Volume two of writer Roger Crombie's collection of RG magazine columns, Bermuda Factor, spanning the period mid-1995 to early 1998 can now be found in bookstores throughout the Island.

Entitled ‘Bermuda Ha Ha', it has a laminated cover, and retails for $19.95.

Book signings will take place at The Bookmart tomorrow from noon to 1 p.m., Washington Mall Magazines on December 10 from noon to 2 p.m., and at the Bermuda Bookstore on December 12 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

Mr. Crombie notes that the latest volume contains more new material because readers complained that the first one was “too short”.

“That surprised me because I didn't think anyone would enjoy it enough to want more, so I have given them more in my usual tongue-in-cheek style,” he says.

In fact, a great deal of what he says is tongue-in-cheek too.

Admitting that at least two more volumes of previously-published columns will follow provided he is “not bankrupt by the time I have next year's edition published, because (self-published) books are a losing proposition”, Mr. Crombie adds that he likes having books he has written on the shelf “because I am my favourite author, so there is no stopping me”.

So what will happen when volumes of his previous ‘Bermuda Factor' columns are completed?

“I will publish my laundry lists and some notes I made when I was six years' old, and any other rubbish I can throw into book form,” he responds.

Self-deprecating and modest to a fault, the popular columnist makes no apologies for writing humorously.

“People tell me they quite enjoy my sense of humour, and I think it is possible that in Bermuda we take everything too seriously, so I see my role as that of a court jester, and of course, sooner or later the court jester is decapitated, which provides the biggest laugh of all,” he says.

As for future RG magazine columns, Mr. Crombie says these “won't stop until they fire me or throw me off the side of a cruise ship because I enjoy writing the last page of RG magazine more than anything else I write”.

“Nowhere else can I be horribly rude to Cabinet Ministers, captains and corporals of industry, and my colleagues in the media and get away with it,” he maintains.

“I insult myself, but that is merely a device for slamming other people.

“Criticising someone else is not funny, but substituting myself as the victim apparently is hysterical.”

Indeed, Mr. Crombie says that “the columns people like best are the ones in which I almost die or am seriously injured.

“People just love it when I am hurt, wounded, damaged or crushed by falling objects.

“How they laugh!”

Asked how he arrives at topics for his ‘Bermuda Factor' columns, the writer says generally ideas come to him when he is “out and about”.

“Driving home I formulate the basic structure in my mind, then I can't wait to sit down at my computer and make it work.

“After that I leave it alone for two weeks to ten years and come back and polish and polish and polish, and file it.

“Within three to four years I get paid.”

Not available on general release until February 2003, but with first edition volumes now possible to be ordered from the Bermuda Maritime Museum ( (234-1333 ext. 104 or e-mail marmuseibl.bm) is the book, ‘Queen of Bermuda and the Furness Bermuda Line', by Piers Plowman and marine artist Stephen J. Card, which traces the timeless story of the world-famous liner and the company's other ships.

Painstaking research by Mr. Plowman and Mr. Card reveals the history of Furness and its ships, their tragedies and triumphs, and their impact on Bermuda from 1919.

The book, which includes many previously unpublished photographs, deck plans and memorabilia, is sure to be a collector's item for aficionados of Bermuda, and anyone fascinated by the great passenger liners of the past.

At a private opening of a collaborative exhibition of artwork and memorabilia at the new Masterworks Centre in the Botanical Gardens, which begins next month, and showcases the Queen of Bermuda and other historic liners of the past, the Bermuda Maritime Museum Press will present special volumes of the book to its benefactor subscribers.

If a picture paints a thousand words, then Bermuda: Our People, Our Story speaks volumes, and the story it tells is the story of everyone who calls Bermuda home. Very much a collaborative effort, the volume of photographs could literally not have been realised without the contributions of members of the public from all walks of life. It is truly a family album: on its pages you will find Uncle Walter and Aunt Kathy; granny and grandpa and Mr. Williams from down the road. The captions that accompany each photo in many cases attempt to fill in the background, providing a social history that for too long remained untold. Bermuda: Our People, Our Story will be available in stores from 2 December, but may be pre-ordered at a number of locations.