?I live for today with hope for tomorrow?
When Shine Hayward found he had multiple sclerosis, the thought that it would end his dream of becoming a top musician flashed across his mind.
?It crossed my mind, but probably for a brief moment,? said the man now regarded as Bermuda?s best saxophonist of the 1982 attack, which paralysed his left side.
?I felt that I would play again, but it was a question of at what level and then when in my life would I have to say that I need to stop,? he said. ?I haven?t arrived there yet.
?I was originally told that I would, at best, be (perform) like 80 percent, and there was concern because of the numbness in my fingers, hands and my entire left side.?
Multiple Sclerosis is thought to be an autoimmune disease that affects the central nervous system, which consists of the brain, spinal cord, and the optic nerve. Because it blocks the ability of the nerves to conduct electrical impulses to and from the brain, it can make movement difficult ? a potential nightmare for a musician.
Mr. Hayward said: ?Part of my therapy was having my flute present, as the doctor said it would be really good for me. I was able to exercise my fingers and try to get them moving.
?It was a task to coordinate the message from my brain to get my fingers to move, make the kind of movement I wanted, and to move which finger I wanted.
?So, that was a big part of my therapy and since I had my flute with me I could perform it any time of day.?
Twenty three years later the saxophonist is still playing and his aim is to give something back by raising funds on his 50th birthday weekend with two musical events.
The first is a marathon of local bands, musicians and entertainers. It will begin at Happy Hour and continue into the night, at the Reception Hall, CedarBridge Academy. Proceeds from this event will go towards the Shine Hayward Music Scholarship Fund.
Then on February 18, he is having a Jazz Supper or a Multiple Sclerosis Global Dinner Fundraiser. It is a black tie affair in aid of the MS International, at the Fairmont Southampton Princess Hotel.
The MS Global Dinner Fundraiser takes place in numerous countries around the world and is usually held a week later on or about February 25. The goal of this event is to raise funds for research into the cause and cure of MS.
Mr. Hayward said: ?The evening will follow the format of cocktails followed by dinner, labelled as a Jazz Supper, which I was famous for in the 80s and early 90s.?
Over the years, Mr. Hayward has used events and his Jazz Suppers to support numerous charitable causes.
?I had worked over the years to support a number of different charitable organisations, but when it comes down to an event of this sort and when I have to choose one charity that is dear to me ? I guess it puts me back to when I was doing my Jazz Suppers.
?During that time we raised for funds for STAR (AIDS Hospice), the Lupus Association and for the Packwood Home. But when this happened to me I thought about making donations to the MS Society, but there wasn?t one here.
?Then there was the process of forming an MS Society here in Bermuda, so since that time a number of my events have been to raise funds for the MS Society.
?As of late, I haven?t done much and many have asked when are you doing another supper, so finally now I have another reason to do another one because of my birthday and also in an effort to give something back.
?I thought that I would not just to celebrate my birthday to celebrate it, but to have a good time and to make a donation to the cause. I will also be revealing something about myself on these evenings.?
Trying times followed his first attack in 1982 and he had to relearn many of life?s basics.
?My first attack left me paralysed on my left side,? he remembered, ?And I was flown out of Bermuda and hospitalised in Philadelphia for six weeks.
?I had to learn to walk all over again and it was a gradual process and I went from a wheelchair, to a four legged walker, to a cane, and then a limp.
?By the time I got myself to the point that I felt I was doing great, which was about five years later ? I had another attack in 1987.
?In 1987 we didn?t have a CAT Scan in Bermuda, which is why I had to be flown out of Bermuda in ?82, and by 1987 they were diagnosing MS with an MRI, but at that time we didn?t have one here, so again off I went.
?I was properly diagnosed in 1987, which really meant that I had been living with it for the previous five years, which at the time they said I had a ten percent chance of having it.
?But I took on the course of trying to get myself back together again and when I thought I was doing very well, I had another attack in 1992. In total I have had three attacks and each were five years apart.
?So, 1997 was one of my ?most cautious living? years and when I got through that year, January 1, 1998, was one of the happiest days for me.
?I made it past that five-year period without having had an attack and I haven?t had one since.?
But while this is the case, all is not perfect and he still suffers with some of the effects of the disease.
?I still experience some of the symptoms and the most prevalent is a numbness in my left hand, sometimes my balance or my equilibrium may be off and also blurred vision,? he said.
?Stress plays a role in not just bringing on symptoms of MS, but in any number of ailments stress would play a role,? he added.
?That?s why my business in 1993 was named Less Stress, in an effort to decrease and release stress. But we cannot see stress and you just can?t look at your body and see that you are stressed and therefore go and do something about.?
But, Mr. Hayward said, MS made him appreciate life and he uses every day to its fullest advantage.
?I was 26 when I was first hit and then of course five years later, but since then I have produced a daughter, Nishanthi Bailey, who is more than healthy and intelligent,? he said, ?And since then most of the positive things that happened in my life have happened.
?That was all about realising that if there was anything I wanted to do ? I knew I had to go on and do it.
?Prior to 1982, I had recorded music, but I hadn?t released it and I didn?t release it until 1983. All of my major accomplishments have happened since then.?
His thoughts on how he got through MS were his positive outlook on life and the desire to do whatever he could do, with whatever circumstances were presented to him.
?It is like sometimes people feel that because a label has been attached to them that they should not do or involve themselves in certain activities,? said Mr. Hayward.
?But I do, and in my opinion it?s a lot worse than a lot of people?s situations who don?t or haven?t had any labelling attached to them.
?When they originally told me that there was a ten percent chance that I might have MS, I lived my life as thought there was a 90 percent chance that I might not. I think a positive attitude and a lot of laughing, surrounding myself with beautiful people, good friends and family helped.
?And of course my belief, although I?m not religious, instead I am spiritual. I do know how to give thanks. I am just thankful and appreciative for just waking up every day. It has taught me how to really learn to appreciate life.
?One of my mottoes in life is to live for today with hope for tomorrow. I know it is a clich?, but we grow up reciting them, but as we get older we really appreciate them.
?For me I am not going to wait for five or ten years to wait to do certain things, if there is anything I can do today, I do it today.?
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