As many of you will have discovered, from the moment that sperm meets egg and you enter the potential world of 'parents', it is as if a game has started and the goal ? the best, cleverest, most beautiful baby in the world!

Once the pregnancy is confirmed we watch our diets to get enough special fats to the baby's brain, we strive to remain fit and well to give the baby 'the best start in life'.

Then once he or she is here the contest really begins: 'Is he a good baby?', 'Does she sleep through the night yet? ? Really, mine does (smirk)', 'Isn't he sitting up yet? Mine did at five months and three days', 'She can say 15 words, including strawberry, does he really not say anything?'

My heart sinks when I think of the games I used to play like this. It is an easy trap to fall into but really worth trying to stay away from.

Not surprisingly the baby/child market has made the most of this parental paranoia and game playing by producing all sort of gimmicky toys, videos and DVDs that make you feel that if you do not have at least one in your house, you are failing as a parent, particularly if you want your child to reach its 'intellectual potential'!

So what are the facts? What do babies and children really need and are these videos, et cetera really necessary?

Many feel that the companies that produce these products are exploiting parents' natural tendency to want what's best for their children concluding that 'their deceptive marketing may be putting babies at risk'.

For example, research suggests that television viewing for babies is negatively associated with cognitive development, regular sleep patterns, and mitigates against time spent interacting with parents and engaged in creative play.

Furthermore, is seems that the industry when pressed, acknowledges that they have no proof these products do what they say they do.

you know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO screen time ? regardless of content ? for children under two!

It might also be interesting to consider why we are using these videos and DVDs, in the first place?

Have we lost the skills or perhaps the desire, of simply sitting with our babies and toddlers and playing, reading, singing nursery rhymes, taking them for long, slow walks?

Could it be that our guilt about putting our children in front of the television is lessened by the alluring and mistaken belief that it might be doing them some good?

So what can we do instead? I have said before that babies and children spell love T-I-M-E and it is important to remember that the primary activities for babies and toddlers should be play and interaction.

With that in mind, it is easy to see that they will gain much more from a walk at the Botanical Gardens examining the colours and shapes of the leaves, birds and flowers or sitting on a lap looking at a book together, than any amount of time in front of a screen, no matter how convincing the advertisement is on the back of the packaging.

In fact, just talking to your baby or toddler can have a positive influence.

There are a number of studies that show that when children hear a good deal of 'live' language, when they are spoken to often and encouraged to communicate, they are more proficient with language than those children who have more limited language exposure.

Most importantly, only 'live' language, not television, produced these vocabulary-boosting effects.

We also know that children need lots of affection as without it they don't thrive or grow properly, emotionally, intellectually or physically.

So lots of cuddling and encouragement are essential. I should also add (at the risk of being considered a breastfeeding fanatic but on the basis that you want to know the facts) that breast milk contains all the amino and fatty acids needed for brain development.

Some research has even shown that babies who are breast-fed as compared to babies who are formula-fed have scores that are significantly higher on IQ tests.

So save the money that you were tempted to spend on 'educational' toys and videos and instead spend time with your little one, talk to them, shower them with affection and enjoy seeing them flourish.