If you have a child who always gets out of bed on time, always does homework, gets dressed without dawdling, and immediately puts down the video games when supper is on the table, then parenting workshops offered by the Women?s Resource Centre may be right for you.

But, if by chance, you do not have a little angel at home the parenting workshops begin tomorrow (Wednesday) and are being facilitated by Kathy Harriott a full-time counsellor at the Women?s Resource Centre.

?We started these classes two years ago,? said Ms Harriott ?We did them in response to a lot of questions in the community.?

Ms Harriott conducts her workshops following a book called ?1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12? by Dr. Thomas Phelan.

?Social workers and educators are using it quite a bit in Canada,? she said. ?I read the book and liked the programme. I am teaching that book. You can buy the book and do the programme yourself. It is very practical and sensible and easy to follow. It is a discipline model for children ages two to 12.?

She said some parents take offence at the idea that they take a parenting class, assuming that the ability to parent effectively is instinctual.

?I do think that some parents have a negative reaction to the idea of parenting classes,? she said. ?One of the parents told me people said to her, ?Why are you going to parenting?? She said, ?Well if I need to learn something about the computer I take a computer class. It is not going to hurt?. I gather that some people feel that anybody can parent.?

Ms Harriott said some people also have negative ideas about the Women?s Resource Centre.

?Some of the perception about the Women?s Resource Centre is that it is not a place for all women, it is a place for some groups of women,? she said. ?That is not true. It is a centre for all women, it doesn?t matter their ability to pay or their socioeconomic background. We are open to all women who need services.?

Unfortunately, whether parenting is instinctual or not, many parents feel unempowered and confused by all the conflicting parenting advice.

?Primarily, what we are doing is teaching the parent more than the child,? Ms Harriott said. ?We are empowering the parent.?

This particular programme focuses on start and stop behaviours, how to stop your child doing things and how to start them doing other things.

?Stop behaviours are a counting model,? she said. ?You have to be able to differentiate between start and stop, which can be tricky sometimes because you want them to stop doing one thing and start doing another. The consequences are potentially time-out, and loss of privileges, but it needs to be immediate, it needs to be soon. It can?t be at the end of the day.?

The programme advises that parents don?t use too much emotion or conversely no emotion, and recommends they don?t talk too much.

?We are finding a lot of parents are explaining and cajoling and threatening and it is not going anywhere,? she said. ?We are teaching the parent: this is the expectation. Give the child the opportunity to take responsibility for it. If they don?t then there are consequences.?

Ms Harriott has one grown daughter and two grandsons.

?My daughter has used this,? she said. ?When it is used properly it works. Any parent could benefit from this programme unless you have an angel, which most of us don?t.?

She said many parents had no trouble getting their kids to stop a behaviour, it was getting them to start things that was more difficult.

?The hardest things were getting the kids to do their homework, eat their food, to get up and get dressed, those were the hardest,? she said.

The programme offers different strategies for start behaviours including the use of charts, kitchen timers, rewards and a great deal of positive feedback. ?That has to start early and often,? she said. ?I encourage the parents to catch their kids doing something good and start praising them for the good stuff. Mostly you see negative things and we are always on them nagging.?

She said she can empathise with the parents in her workshops because she went through many of the same things raising her daughter, however, she thinks parents today have it a bit harder.

?Parenting is not easy,? she said. ?It is very stressful. It is probably more stressful today than when I was a young mother.

?I think life is more demanding now. People are having to work more jobs to keep a roof over their heads. There is a lot more stress. I think we see what the kinds of dangers are for our children too.

?Children have so many opportunities now that they didn?t have thirty years ago. In some ways that is good, but in other ways it leaves parents agonising about how to protect their children.?

She said parents with some types of special needs children can benefit from the programme.

?I haven?t had any parents with special needs yet, but my grandson is autistic, and my daughter uses it with him and it works,? said Ms Harriott. ?It is a counting model. He understands it.?

During the course that happens over a period of five Wednesdays, parents will also look at ways to enhance their child?s self-esteem.

Classes begin at the Women?s Resource Centre tomorrow from 5.30 to 7.30 p.m. .

It is $35 for a single parent and $50 for a couple. A couple could include whoever is in the family including a stepparent, a partner or a caregiver. ?Anyone who is caregiving for the child would benefit,? she said. ?If everyone is using the same model it is much more consistent for the child.?

For more information telephone 295-3882.