ALTHOUGH Thanksgiving is traditionally an American Holiday, it is wise to pause to give thanks to the Almighty for the many blessings he has bestowed upon us. I notice that more and more Bermudians are starting to embrace Thanksgiving and are having dinners and luncheons to celebrate the Thanksgiving tradition and holiday.

I wish to give thanks for my entire family but this week will single out my son. No disrespect to mothers, but the best place for a boy to be is with his father, as long as his father is doing something positive. The reason I state this is because having a father in a boy's life has become the exception rather than the rule. Thus we must encourage fathers to spend more time with their sons.

I had the opportunity to spend extra time with my boy this week by going to his school for meetings and picking him up after school each day. Since school finishes so early I normally don't get to pick him up at 3 pm, but this week I had the pleasure of picking him up every day. Although he was happy to see me each day at 3 pm, I too was happy and enriched by the week of extra time with Johnny.

We all get so busy and we think that we have to work like hell to provide more economic resources and stability for our kids, when what they really need is more of our time. More on this after the Top 20.

Up to number1 is the new hit from Ne-Yo, entitled Closer. It's the dance mix that is the bomb and is tearing up international dance music charts. He performed this one at this week's American Music Awards show and gave a good performance. Up to number two is Whatever You Like by T.I. Tumbling to number three is current dance anthem Disturbia by hot girl Rihanna, still a hot track and still making people sing and dance. I'm even still singing the words.

Up to number four is Mrs. Officer by my namesake L'il Wayne featuring Bobby Valentino and Kidd Kidd, one of the hottest songs around and a former essential new tune. Improving to number five is Miss Independent by Ne-Yo, a love song atop a creatively produced but slowed down hip hop beat. Slipping to number six is She's Royal by Taurus Riley. Spotlight, by former American Idol songstress Jennifer Hudson tumbles to number seven.

Up to number eight is Jennifer Hudson's monster new hip hop track Pocket Book, a duet with Ludacris, which is just a banging track. This song has a killer beat and is well produced.

Up to number nine is the monster new track by John Legend and Andre 3000, entitled Green Light.

Last week's essential new tune, improving to number 10 is Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) by Beyonce.

Slipping to number 11 is The Business by Yung Berg featuring Casha, a current hip hop fave.

Up to number 12 is Live Your Life by TI featuring hot girl and Bajan Bombshell Rihanna. Soaring to number 13 is Dangerous by Kardinal Official, all the way from Canada, featuring Akon.

Up to number 14 is the new one from Jazmine Sullivan entitled Bust Your Windows.

Climbing to number 15 is Right Here by Brandy. Down to number 16 is Can't Believe It by T-Pain and Li'l Wayne. Moving on up to number 17 is Don't Call Me Baby by Kresha Turner.

Falling to number 18 is Jazmine Sullivan's new hit entitled Need You Bad. Slipping to number 19 is When I Grow Up by the Pussycat dolls, one of the hottest, sexiest and most creative groups around.

Now this week's essential new hit. New at number 20 its Get Up by Gospel Sister Duo Mary Mary. This one has a dance mix that is tearing up the dance music charts of the world and it is always good to honour people who love the Lord.

Now back to this week's word - more time with our kids and less toys. Even before there was an economic crisis, successive generations of baby boomers and yuppies all decided that their main focus as parents should be to work like hyperactive drones to earn more money than their parents did and to provide more economic stability for their families.

This may have been because:

l Although most baby boomers and yuppies came from middle class families with basic needs, they went to good schools and encountered rich kids and longed to have the toys and lifestyles of those rich kids.

l Many baby boomers and yuppies grew up during the information age, where wealth is thrown up in your face all day every day, causing them to desire it.

l Many baby boomers and yuppies have strayed away from the religious and spiritual core which was the foundation of their parents' lives and existence.

l Many baby boomers and yuppies resented the strict upbringing they endured under their parents' rules and have relaxed them in the rearing of their own children.

l University experiences lead students to believe that success is measured by the type of house and neighbourhood you live in, the make of car you drive, the brand of clothing you wear and the amount of toys you have accumulated; all nonsense but nonetheless the perception held by most people who attend university.

The result is that we have a few generations of kids who are selfish, self-centred and all about themselves. These are the kids who don't understand rules, don't want rules and don't understand that without rules societies cannot work or function effectively and fairly.

By working longer hours and being home less, parents are telling children that work is more important than spending quality time with your family and friends. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Sure, we have to work hard and Bermuda is an extremely expensive place. Housing alone is the single biggest money sucker in this country. You can fight your way around other expenses by buying in bulk when you're away, shopping when sales are on and looking for deals and picking up stuff on emoo; but you can't pick up a house on the rock to live in whilst you're on a business trip or shopping vacation.

However, the recession offers some hope for those looking for deals. Some realtors will argue that prices are not coming down but I heard of a situation last week whereby an international business is moving office because it got a better deal on commercial real estate. Well, let that be the sign that tough times are coming, because I've never heard of an international business doing something like this. Relocating a business is a massive undertaking; new cabling, inconveniences, lost time, it's a pain in the rear, business interruption, etc. This must have been too good a deal to pass up, for a company to relocate within Bermuda!

So, hang in there would be home buyers; residential real estate could be on offer like this soon too. Just let enough companies leave Bermuda and see what happens. Those $2500 one bedroom apartments will suddenly start costing $2000, then $1800, then maybe even $1600, which is much more like what they should cost.

But, as usual, I digress. Back to spending more time with our kids. The message that I want to convey is that our kids don't need more money and more material possessions from us. They need us to spend more time with them. They don't care where we go or what they do, as long as they are with their parents.

My son has autism and doesn't speak. But even he wants and prefers for both his mother and me to be with him as much as possible. If we are leaving the house, he will pull both of our hands and drag us both to the car. He will go with either of us but by the simple gesture of pulling both of us he is telling us that he wants his entire family together. Children know. Adults need to be reminded of this.

If we fail to spend time with our kids when they are young, they will not want to spend time with us when we are old. Spending time now is an investment that you only have the chance to make each day. If you don't spend time with your kid today, you cannot make it up tomorrow. You spend time tomorrow for tomorrow, not today; today's opportunity is lost. Although there has to be balance, too many families are chasing the dollar. In some cases people have to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet but in other cases it is just to accumulate more toys and things.

By giving our children too many toys, trips, pairs of sneakers, clothes and access to cash without working hard for it; we have robbed them of the understanding that it takes hard work to earn decent money and to acquire things. We have also denied them the opportunity to have humble beginnings. I am guilty of this also; my son had his own bathroom before he was 2 years old and may never have to share a bathroom or a bedroom with anybody on a long term basis. In these situations, it is important to talk to kids and tell them where you came from. We must tell them that our grandparents had outhouses and that they slaved and worked very hard to provide for their families a house with a bathroom inside.

The absence of this knowledge and understanding is what leads to the sense of entitlement which is found in so many young people. They think that they are entitled to things that they haven't earned and that the world owes them something. Much of this is because nobody has told them about the process and the journey to success.

We also have our priorities wrong. I had to check myself on this the other day. I don't own a flat screen TV and it was proposed that I might purchase one this Christmas. After I checked myself and reminded myself of what I stand for, the decision has been made that rather than purchase a flat screen TV now, I will use that money to pay down more of my mortgage. When one of my TVs breaks or needs replacing, then and only then will I purchase a new flat screen TV. This to me is intelligent spending rather than wasteful and unnecessary spending.

I trust that this personal example will help people to understand how one should align one's priorities and not get caught up in the Holiday Season's material madness. I didn't use the word Christmas Season because Christmas is about Christ, not about material madness and a focus on toys and Santa Claus.

Christmas is when we celebrate the life of Jesus Christ, the saviour of this sinful world. Christmas is supposed to be a time when we celebrate and enjoy peaceful, pleasant and festive experiences with friends, family and loved ones. Christmas is supposed to be an opportunity to spread cheer, happiness, goodwill and blessings to those who are less fortunate than we are. I invite everyone to embrace the true meaning of Christmas this year and lets forget about the material shopping and gift giving that has dominated our psyche for God knows how long.

It is far better to give people the gift of your time and your talents than it is to spend lots of money on overpriced gifts that they will not use after January 15.

Peace ¿