Question: I'm raising my seven-year-old granddaughter and she's doing well in school. Her parents had very bad tempers. We've recently started the 1-2-3 correction. It seems to work pretty well. Is this a good correctional technique?

Answer: Counting to three to give your granddaughter time to follow through on your requests or corrections works very well. It gives her a little time to reorganise her thinking and prevents your needing to raise your voice as much. Especially if she's accustomed to parents who may have lost their tempers too frequently, your counting will speed her adjustment to your discipline. Enjoy your granddaughter, but hopefully her mom and dad will get their lives together to participate in parenting again. In the meantime, thanks for being a willing helper.

For free newsletters about grandparenting do's and don'ts, or discipline for little, middle and big kids, send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, Wisconsin 53094, or read "Grandparenting Do's and Don'ts" at www.sylviarimm.com.

Question: My 9-year-old daughter refuses to fall asleep in her bed. We normally snuggle with her until she falls asleep, at which time we leave the room. However, because she's a light sleeper, she quickly awakes and again refuses to go to sleep in her own bed. We normally find her asleep on the floor where we leave her until she wakes. Once awake, she climbs in our bed and not her own. We leave the lights on so she isn't afraid and encourage her to read in her bed, but this is not successful. Due to her age and how this is becoming an every-night ordeal, we need help! We've been to counsellors in the past. My concern is her codependency. Any recommendations would be most appreciated.

Answer: Yes, it's past time for your daughter to sleep independently, and surely you and your partner deserve some privacy. Have another heart-to-heart talk with your daughter. I said another because I doubt if this is the first.

Ask about her worries and fears again to get some clue of how to comfort her. Light dispels ghosts, and music covers squeaks and creaks. A flashlight at her bedside provides some feeling of control, and stuffed animals or dolls add comfort and security. She can have any or all of those, but explain that she can't share your bed. Explain that you plan to bar your doorway with a gate so she can't enter at night. If she falls asleep on the floor, that's where she can stay — then prepare to be firm.

Snuggle with her or rub her back for a few minutes before bedtime to relax her, and leave her with her favourite book for calming herself. Permit her to learn to fall asleep on her own. Assure her of where you'll be and then stay away. The first night will be difficult, but if you're clear and firm, she'll have a comfortable sleep habit after three or four days and you'll laugh at yourself for having let this go on for so long. Unless she has some sort of physical problem, counselors can only be as effective as you are determined to change her co-sleeping habit.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and paediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting.

More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, Wisconsin 53094, USA or srimm[AT]sylviarimm.com.