Hester had to quickly come up with some Bermuda-full ideas to entertain.

Normally, when it comes to dining, she prefers places that offer a wine list and describe the cuisine in French. But on this occasion she had to slum it, since the house guests, and not all English folk are cheap, were from England.

So Hester rounded up her guests plus a couple of bottles of Saint Emilion, and headed deep into St. David's, to Cashew City, for the famed local eatery, Dennis' Hideaway . Dennis was nowhere in sight, but his gracious son Sea Egg cooked up, Hester must admit, an absolutely fabulous fishy feast. OK, the plates were plastic, and dinner was served in the family's TV room (with the telly on), but the place has grown on Hester; especially after she read the guest book and found it signed by none other than rock superstar David Bowie and, more recently, mega-movie star Michael Douglas . One of Dennis' main attractions to the stars was clear when Hester's guest exclaimed, `David Bowie ate here!', to which the host replied, `Who's that?' Hester hears Government Minister Renee Webb was none too happy upon learning of her faux pas last week in failing to show for an awards ceremony for French students. Alliance Francaise of Bermuda had some pretty harsh words in this paper for the French-speaking Telecoms Minister after she kept thirteen students and their parents waiting half an hour -- showing a bad example to the youngsters, the organisation claimed. They said they called her office earlier in the day to confirm, and were assured by a secretary she'd be there come rain or shine to hand out the awards. Now Hester hears from her sources that a red-faced Ms Webb took out her humiliation on the secretary and is said to have sacked her! Apparently the civil servant failed to tell Ms. Webb that she'd RSVPd for her.

It seems Fisch's Place at the Mariners Club has resorted to extreme measures to stop patrons feeding their faces and then wondering off to the Robin Hood Pub for the rest of the afternoon. Hester hears management have got themselves what they term a "private clamp'', and if patrons dare to leave their cars in Mariners' parking lot a second longer after settling their food bill, let alone go boozing down de road at the competition, they get the clamp -- and a hefty bill to get it removed! You've been warned! Last Saturday's Amsale (pronounced Amsala) fashion extravaganza at the Fairmont Southampton Princess, organised by the Kardias Club, was quite the who's who of ladies who lunch -- and political foes. Hester, of course, was there scouting for New Year's Eve ball gowns (Amsale designed Kim Basinger's Oscar gown). The charming MC for the night was none other than Cabinet Secretary Leo Mills , and among the women clad in sequins and taffeta were former first ladies Lady Jackie Swan and Lady Lully Gibbons , Louise Jackson , Dr. Eva Hodgson , Labour Minister Paula Cox (who's getting married this month). Among the smattering of men were Dr. Clarence James and dapper retailer John Casling . Even Pauline Richards , the former UBP spokeswoman and wife of ET, was there in her role as Kardias president, apparently having decided Bermuda's not such a bad place under the PLP after all. Hester does recall that in the heat of election mudslinging, Ms Richards controversially remarked that she didn't think she could live here under a PLP government! One certainly can't accuse the "24-hour'' Esso station of false advertising! Hester's pals in the newsroom were touring the new-look city station last week when a hardnosed hack inquired, "If you're open 24-hours a day why do you have locks on the doors?'' Ah ha! According to Esso's man in Bermuda, Ed Edelson , when management tried to find a key to lock up the station while it underwent the recent renovations, they couldn't find one anywhere. So there! It seems the tough time that two notorious ex-inmates had earlier this year in finding accommodation after their release from prison had a happy ending, for the summer in any event. A pal of Hester's was apartment hunting in St.

George's recently, when, upon asking a friendly tenant at a certain Old Town address, who the neighbours were, was startled to learn they were none other than recently-released convicted child killer/rapist Chesterfield Johnson and rapist/burglar Kenneth (Eggs) Smith . It seems in the midst of people pulling out of providing accommodation and talk of a St. David's houseboat, the infamous two in the end became happy roommates over the summer! Hester's sure they have a lot in common, but wonders how good of an influence they could have been on each other. It appears they've gone their separate ways now and Hester really does wish them well.

Getting down 'n dirty on a hard pitch, boozing it up at Number One Shed, baring buttocks (and other body parts); That's actually what rugby's all about. According to the Irish Sunday Independent Bermuda's own World Rugby Classic started by Irishman John Kane "represents the international game and players that we knew and loved...before the plastic, mind-numbing sameness of the professional rugby player there was a species that was fun to watch, talk to and travel alongside.'' The writer laments that today's rugby player is more concerned about fitness schedules and cash and barely has time for even one beer. But not the over-33 `golden oldies' who play in the Classic! "It is played as a real physical game with only two concessions to the laws -- no pushing in the scrum and unlimited substitutions,'' the writer says, adding its success spawned a similar event in Japan.

I dig everything: David Bowie, arriving recently in Bermuda where he rents a home, appears to be a fan of the local cuisine.