Never one to turn her nose up at a good offer, Hester hoped to be first in the queue for the great Cecile's sale yesterday -- and ended up getting more than she bargained for.

The biggest fashion event of the year, held at Number Six shed on Front Street, came about after the upmarket store's stock of fancy frocks was damaged by smoke.

Not that that put anyone off -- Hester reckons half the ladies on the Island seemed willing to cough up for a new evening gown -- and with prices slashed who could blame them? Alas, there was one slight snag that the organisers of the sale had failed to address -- the lack of changing facilities at Number Six.

As a result the place was a sea of naked limbs, torsos and all manner of frilly underwear as bargain-hunters stripped off to try on what took their fancy.

Hester naturally emerged with her dignity intact -- and was also mightily relieved that she had not persuaded her man of the moment to come shopping with her. The holiday season is stressful enough for the poor dear as it is without the sight of all that naked female flesh.

News reaches Hester that some Southampton residents had an early awakening on Christmas Day -- and excited tots eager to rip open their presents were not to blame.

The culprits this time around are believed to be the good people of the Salvation Army, who thought it might be a good idea to start spreading some Christmas cheer at first light.

The group's choir was up belting out those festive numbers at 5.30 in the morning -- much to the annoyance of some locals. Presumably `God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen' and `Silent Night' were not included on the song sheet.

Hester lapped up the Christmas messages from our political and spiritual leaders which were printed in the daily last week.

But while she found herself nodding in agreement with most of what Madame Premier had to say, there was one line that made her splutter on her eggnog.

Running through a list of everything we should be thankful for, Madame Premier gushed: "Many events this year have given us cause to rejoice. I am thinking particularly of the absence of hurricanes in the Bermuda area this year, the turn around in tourism ...''.

Eh...hang on a moment. Isn't this set to be the worst year for visitor arrival statistics in more than two decades? Didn't The Royal Gazette just yesterday reveal that air arrivals for October had plummeted? Hester is all too used to politicians putting a positive spin on disastrous news but this is stretching it a bit surely. Or perhaps Ms Smith had just cracked open the Asti before she sat down to pen her message and got the latest statistics a little out of focus.

Hester attended an engagement in the western end of the Island this week, where it is said some people spend more than an hour driving to and from work in Hamilton each day.

Heading back towards town in the afternoon the traffic was light with not a Police officer in sight. Known for living dangerously, Hester thought it might be fun to see what driving at 70 kph on Harbour Road actually feels like.

Sadly she cannot report what 70 kph felt like because common sense won the day. Driving that fast would be like being married to hunky new Police Commissioner-in-waiting Jonathan Smith -- it might be fun for a while but sooner or later you're going to get arrested.

Cabinet Ministers and other scofflaws are advised to keep their speed to a minimum. After all... Hester might be tootling down the road towards you checking her make-up in the mirror.