family life. Two years after her world all but fell apart, Jennifer Fisher is back on the road and running into the form that made her Bermuda's best female middle distance athlete. This week the 33-year-old former Athlete of the Year makes her belated debut in the Bank of Butterfield Mile on Front Street - a race that husband oach Eddie says was "made for her'' but one which she seemed fated not to run. Pregnancy and work commitments kept her out of the first two Front Street Miles in 1989 and 1990. In 1991, coming off a double bronze medal-winning performance at the 1990 CAC Games in Mexico, Jennifer was in the best form of her life and raring to set Front Street alight.

But that week, tragedy struck and the night before the race, she and Eddie were at the King Edward VII Memorial Hospital making the heartbreaking decision to take their four-year-old son Justin off a life support system.

Justin had failed to regain consciousness following a routine tonsillectomy seven days earlier. A subsequent inquest ruled Justin's death was aggravated by lack of professional care.

Jennifer actually considered going ahead and running the Mile the following night "for Justin , because he was my number one fan'' but Eddie talked her out of it. That was somewhat ironic because it was always Eddie who was talking, often coaxing her into racing. But he explains: "If she'd broken down halfway through the race, it wouldn't have done her any good. Also, some people might have got the wrong impression. They might have thought she wasn't that upset about Justin.'' It says much for the Fishers' courage and determination that they have emerged from the devastating loss with a positive outlook not only on athletics but life in general. Cianna, a sister to Kimberley, now three, was born in January this year. They continue to run their hairdressing business, Images, and typically have managed to cram voluntary work into their busy lives by spearheading Healthwatch, a patients' rights group.

They have also become committed Christians and credit their faith as a key factor in getting through life without Justin. "I was always a Christian and brought up in a Christian home,'' explains Jennifer. "When Justin passed I didn't break up into pieces where I couldn't put myself together. I just prayed hard and said to the Lord, `Do whatever you have to do, just get us through it.' "Eddie didn't come from a religious background and became a Christian about February-March after Justin passed. The strength he got from going to church was incredible. It was very frightening for him and he was frightened for me but when he saw I was putting all my faith in God, that helped him. He knew God was there and the faith he got was just beautiful.

"A lot of people cry and cry and forget about life around them. That's self pity and you can't go through life like that. It makes the situation worse and it won't bring the person back. I still had Kimberley to think of and we had to go on.'' In April, two months after Cianna's birth, Jennifer returned to training for the first time since Justin's death. She and Eddie took up the sport of summer biathlon (running and shooting) and competed successfully in several events in North America. But running remains her first love, although two years ago it was the furthest thing from her mind. "With what happened to Justin, I hated the thought of running again because I was so upset. He was one of my biggest fans and I didn't have it in my heart to do it again but I realised it wasn't going to do any good being that way. It was not going to bring him back and I decided I might as well get myself together.

Eddie was behind me all the way. He just said, `Do what's good for you.' I didn't rush myself and I think that helped. I'm enjoying running a lot more now.

"Also it's nice to be involved in running again. I have two other children and it's good to be active in their eyes. I want them to be active when they get older.'' The first steps back were painful. "I felt worse than a beginner,'' laughs Jennifer. "It took me about two weeks to feel comfortable running or to even think about running hard. I doubted whether I would ever be competitive again because everything was messed up after my pregnancy with Cianna. With pregnancy your pelvic bones soften and I was in physiotherapy for a while. My legs hurt, my hips hurt and my groin hurt because Cianna had been lying on certain nerves.'' Within weeks, she was racing at the National Stadium track, running in some minor races and then beating out leading road runner Anna Eatherley to win the 1500 metres at the Heritage Meet. "There were only three of us in the race but when I won that I thought, `Great, I still have some speed even if I don't have the stamina.' That gave me and Eddie confidence that there was still something left regards middle distance running.'' Many women athletes believe they run faster and are stronger after pregnancy but Eddie and Jennifer are not convinced. "She's running but I wouldn't say she's running better,'' says Eddie. "Someone like (top local marathoner) Sandra Mewett, for example, had children younger and her best years were between 36 and 39, an age where stamina takes over. I think her best years coincided with her age, not because she had kids.

"I think your pain threshold may be a little higher after having kids but I can't think of any other advantages. Kids keep you up all night and you have less time for workouts, so there aren't any real benefits. '' Says Jennifer: "Soem women run through pregnancy and don't lose their fitness level. I could barely walk!'' She may be short of the speed that earned her a semi-final place in the 800 metres at the Helsinki World Championships in 1983 and established Bermuda records at 800 and 1500 as well as an impressive personal 10K road best of 36:19 in the mid-1980s, but Jennifer Fisher has lost none of the goal-orientated drive instilled by Eddie. In August she established a 10,000 metres record for Bermuda when she ran 39:21 in Canada. It was the first time a Bermudian woman had run the distance competitively and Fisher doesn't plan on repeating it too soon. "It's gruelling and boring and very hard to concentrate,'' she says with a grimace.

She now has her sights set on the CAC Track and Field Championships in August and the CAC Games in December and the 1994 Commonwealth Games in Victoria, British Columbia, running the 1500 and possibly the 3,000 metres. She missed the 1990 Games in Auckland, New Zealand as she was carrying Kimberley and the Fishers have sentimental reason for aiming to compete in B.C. where Eddie lived for eight years and his parents still reside. Jennifer has also run on the track to be used for the Games, at Victoria University track, setting a Bermuda 1500 metres record (4:32.06) there in July, 1988.

As for the Front Street Mile, Jennifer says she will simply "do her best.

That's always been my motto and that's never changed because of things happening in my life.'' The local record stands at 5:11, set by Karen Adams last year, and Jennifer, who has a road mile best of 5:05, admits: "With the two bends at either end of the course and the wind, it's difficult for a woman to break five minutes.'' Eddie is a little more optimistic. "If we ever get her into shape and get the weather for it, I think Jennifer can break five - even with the bends.'' For now, though, Jennifer Fisher will be happy enough just to be on the start line at last.

Jennifer Fisher with daughters Kimberley and Cianna. "It's nice to be involved in running again. It's good to be active in their eyes.'' RG MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 1993