Reports of domestic abuse are on the increase in Bermuda, but many more people may be suffering in silence, afraid to speak out. Reporter Karen Smith talks to experts to find out what kind of women fall victim to abusive partners and why.

Shirley is a senior executive at a Bermuda company and to people on the outside she is in control of her life, both at work and at home.

However, what her colleagues don't realise is that when away from her office, Shirley is far from the assertive, dominant woman she appears.

She may have a wonderful home, fine wardrobe and a more than comfortable lifestyle -- but she is still a victim of domestic abuse.

Each evening when she goes home she lives in fear of the arguments, threats and beatings that may come her way without any reason whatsoever.

And only after several years of emotional torment has Shirley finally found the courage and self-belief to seek help in regaining ownership of her life.

Shirley, not her real name, is at last seeking advice from The Women's Resource Centre.

There, attorney Susan Moore-Williams has explained what her options are and given her the support she needs to go out and make decisions.

But Shirley is not alone. She is just one of hundreds of women and men, of different shapes, colours, sizes and ages, who find themselves trapped in destructive relationships.

Mrs Moore-Williams said: "This woman, who is a senior executive, has been accused of being too aggressive at work by her colleagues, yet when she goes home she is passive.

"She has everything that she could wish for -- nice home, no money worries, good lifestyle -- but she was a victim of domestic abuse.

"For years she has been afraid and in fear of violence. Yet, from the outside, you would never know it.

"It is not just the stereotypical hard-up, lower classes that are affected.

It is all types.

"A lot of women I see in here have careers and are in full control of their professional lives. However, they are not in control of their personal lives.'' There is no typical victim of physical abuse. However, with its own statistics, The Women's Resource Centre has been able to monitor its own trends and draw comparisons.

Between January and June of this year, it saw two teachers, a senior executive, three bank employees, a security guard, cashier, and maid, to name but a few.

All but three of the victims were women and the majority were aged between 21 and 40, although the oldest client at the resource centre is 80-years-old and the youngest is 16.

Many of the complainants were single, although many had children with the abuser.

Of the attackers, all were aged between 21 and 50, many had histories of alcohol and drug abuse, and 12 had prison records.

However, there are common threads between those people that fall victim and those people that feel the need to bully their partners or family.

Almost none of the victims seek help until they have suffered abuse for a long time -- it is almost as though they are pushed to a certain point.

Many have also left their partners at least once, but repeatedly decide to go back, whether it be for the children's sake or financial reasons.

Mrs. Moore-Williams said: "I would say a recurring characteristic is that women who grow up in homes where there has been abuse become victims of it themselves.

"I think perhaps they are looking for someone to give them what they missed in their childhoods. Sometimes they marry early to get away from their homes and do not really know the men they are marrying.

"Quite often they deliberately look for a father figure. They are so used to growing up in situations where women were so unequal, they willingly give up their power.

"All of these women give up their power in their relationship. All have allowed the man to assume the dominant role.

"They tell their women what they should do, how they should dress, what they should say. I have seen cases where the woman will never really be able to do anything right. He will hit her anyway.'' She said some women will not walk away from a relationship because they believe they have to have a man in their lives, no matter what he is like.

Without a man, they have no self-esteem and are just grateful for the attention.

And then there are those that are just attracted to bad men. Either way, it leads to disaster.

Mrs. Moore-Williams said no matter what kind of background a victim has, she is not alone and should seek help as soon as possible.

"Our motto is `Helping People to Help Themselves' and that is all we aim to do -- give people the courage and strength to make decisions.'' Tomorrow in The Royal Gazette : Read about how not only women fall victim to domestic abuse.

If you are subjected to abuse in your own home or have been in the past, call reporter Karen Smith on 295-5881, ext. 260. Callers can remain anonymous.