special section, The Royal Gazette features wedding photographs from 1931 to 1956, and hears what some of the experts have to say about making marriage work.

Sylvia and Leon Rabain were married June 26, 1952, some 44 years ago. Both agree, understanding, appreciation and respect can make a world of difference in any relationship. "I think you get out of marriage what you put in it,'' said Mrs. Rabain. "You have to be tolerant. You must try and understand the other person and you have to have respect for each other.'' "Today, you can't call it marriage like we used to; like the old timers used to,'' lamented Mr.

Rabain. "I guess people don't have any idea of what they are saying when they say the words, `I do.' In the olden days, that meant something. Today, they're just saying words.'' "In the days when we got married, you had your family backing you,'' she said. "Today, so much is different. Families don't stick together and you don't have that same support.'' The lack of unity is evident in many of today's homes, Mrs. Rabain added, where needed support is not always given. "A lot of guys today, if the food is not on the table, they will sit and wait for the wife to wait on them hand and foot. I was a person who always felt that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach but my husband is the type, that if he came home and found the food was not prepared, he would do it himself. We have that respect for each other. He's always been very tolerant, he's very easy to get along with and he's very helpful; he cleans and helps keep the house straight. "My husband is an electrician; he's always tinkering with something and he's not very talkative. I have my plants and my crocheting so I leave him and let him do as he wants. But if I need something, I know he will help me.'' Basic wedding arrangements have not changed much over the years, Mrs. Rabain added, however the cost and the hoopla surrounding the occasion has. "Preparations were more or less as they are today. You had your invitations and sent them out. I had about 200 which, at the time seemed like a lot but if there were six people in a family, we would send an invitation and expect the entire family to come. One difference is that then we had sandwiches and cake but today they have food and hors d'oeuvres. Today, many are catered but then, everybody pitched in; one family member would give the flour, another would give the sugar, another would, say, give so many napkins, and so forth. The family would all help to make the sandwiches and box them all up the night before the wedding and we would make old-fashioned flowers out of crepe paper and decorate the hall. So weddings were not that expensive. "Today, people spend thousands of dollars on weddings and weddings are much larger, people sometimes have eight to ten people in a wedding party. I feel today that many people have elaborate ceremonies just for show and in a year, or even a month, many of the marriages are finished.'' Although couples today must overcome different obstacles than those she and her husband faced when they married, the Rabains said, the problems are no more difficult and by no means a valid justification for divorce. "Everybody is working at night, the cost of living is so high both parents have to work; children see more of others than they do of their own parents,'' Mr. Rabain said. "But you just have to stick it out.'' Added his wife: "Yes, there may have been lots of times when I felt like jumping up and leaving, but my children needed him just as much as I did. We used to have our fusses and all, but now I hear and I don't hear.'' PHOTO Leon and Sylvia Rabain 1952