intended on Christmas gifts. So you decide to do something about it. Isn't it time to be resolute? To make some New Year Resolutions -- and vow that this time, you will stick to them? Forget it.

According to psychologist Michael Ashton and counsellor David Gosling, making New Year Resolutions are about the worst way of tackling these sorts of lifestyle problems.

Most of us are familiar with those well-worn New Year's Eve declarations (we may have used them ourselves), like: "No more cigarettes for me after tonight,'' or "I'm quitting drinking'' or "I'm eating a lot tonight because I'm going on a diet tomorrow''.

Living spoke to two experts who both agree that a new year will not herald in a new you and that holidays are, in any case, emphatically not a good time to raise stress levels which, for a lot of people at this time of year, are sky-high already.

They were quick to point out that they would not discourage people from making resolutions -- but that firm resolves made in the midst of New Year festivities are unrealistic.

Mr. Ashton said, "Most of us tend to think of the New Year as a new beginning and for many of us, that means taking better care of ourselves. But, unfortunately, the best of intentions will last at the most, a few days, rather than a few weeks -- let alone a few months!'' He explained that our "life-script'' is written in the first six years of life and "if that script is a self-defeating one, which leads later in life to self-destructive traits and behaviour, we are not going to be able to correct that life-time of behaviour in a few days.'' Noting that abuse of drugs (including alcohol) was obviously a major factor for some people, Mr. Ashton stressed that other problems, such as over-eating, smoking, over-spending, are all short-term solutions to long-term dissatisfaction, or even dysfunction.

"Diets, for instance, don't work. You might starve yourself or keep to a very strict regimen of food for a few weeks and the weight falls off. But the strain of living like that means that you gradually, but inevitably, fall back into the more comfortable old ways and old eating habits,'' he said.

All is not lost, however. Mr. Ashton believes that it is possible to change years of bad or destructive habits: "We need a mechanism that will help us follow a different path and experience has shown that we all find it easier if we try to make changes within a group setting.'' He cited excercise groups, or finding a like-minded friend to train with, and said that success was more likely (and the process more enjoyable) when undertaken within a social setting.

The same philosophy applies to other behavioural problems, such as smoking, over-eating or drinking.

"Let's not expect to do these difficult things on our own, in isolation. We should surround ourselves with people who have the same aims.'' Mr. Ashton, who is a practising psychotherapist, said he believes that a "12-step'' programme, based on that followed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), has proven to be one of the most effective and felt it was "a great pity'' that some people feel there is still some stigma attached to joining such a group.

He pointed out that the success of AA is reflected in the fact that there are now many off-shoots, such as Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Over-eaters Anonymous, Adult Child of an Alcoholic, Gamblers Annonymous, all of which follow the same principles of group support.

Both professionals, who are trained in substance abuse counselling for the abuser and their families, as well as dealing with the wider issues of individual dysfuntion and "life adjustment'', confirmed that there is usually an increased call for their services after the "excesses'' of Christmas and the New Year.

Mr. Gosling said that most people are unrealistic about New Year resolutions: "They think it's like hitting a switch that will change everything. If you really want to change on New Year's Day, you need to be getting ready for that change long before that!'' He also felt that people are too hard on themselves and tend to think that smoking, for instance, is an "all or nothing'' affair: "It is grossly unrealistic to decide that smoking stops one minute after midnight on New Year's Day. If (as usually happens), we fall off the wayside and light up, we are overcome with a sense of failure and use that as an excuse to throw in the towel.'' So he urges would-be self-reformers to be tolerant over their "slips from grace'', emphasising that deeply engrained habits take a long time and much patient work to break.

Mr. Gosling said in his experience, he found that people over-simplify the problems involved in overindulgence: "Most of us tend to believe that if we stop drinking, or whatever, our lives will suddenly become wonderful. But the reality is that we will still be the same person -- with one way less of coping with our life.'' Or, as Mr. Ashton put it: "If nothing changes, nothing changes!'' Saying self-destructive habits are merely the outward manifestation of deeply rooted problems, Mr. Gosling also encourages clients to seek help within a group setting.

He also emphasised that people should realise that quitting smoking, for instance, affects the whole of a person's personality and way of life: "If you're used to having a cigarette with a cup of coffee, after a meal, with a drink etc., it's helpful to alter these routines. On a simple basis, instead of sitting down after a meal, get right up and do the dishes! Or drink juice instead of coffee -- anything that breaks the cycle that you associate with smoking. This can be applied to other problems, of course.'' He suggested that the end of January might be a more appropriate, less stressful time to think about changes: "Under stress, we revert to our characteristic patterns, I'm afraid!'' He also suggested that those who "binge'' on food or drink before the big reformation are almost certainly doomed to failure: "If you binge, it means you really love it. If you're really serious about giving something up, and have thought sensibly about it, you can do it without the dramatic farewells!'' Mr. Gosling urges anyone who is troubled by certain behaviour patterns or habits to think about the supposed benefits such behaviour is supposed to bring: "Take drinking, for example. We think it makes us more sociable and this may be the case. But if the reality for you is that you become too much the life-and-soul of the party, and you go out of control, or that you would really prefer to be on your own at home with a bottle, then you need to do some hard, realistic thinking.'' He also pointed out that smoking may, indeed, be a stress reliever, but suggested that smokers should seek an alternative that is not detrimental to one's health: "Walking, running -- any form of light exercise for 20 to 30 minutes, two or three times a week will relieve stress, and improve your figure!'' Mr. Gosling also suggested that people with serious problems, such as abuse of alcohol, should be very clear in their minds as to why they want to stop. "It goes far beyond the misery of a hangover. We need to know the real cost of such behaviour and how it can ultimately lead to loss of jobs, families and health. If we think clearly about ultimate risks to our lives, it can provide the necessary motivation to make difficult decisions.'' He agrees with Mr. Ashton that people faced with such problems will probably succeed best by talking to those who have "won'', people in organisations like AA, or other 12-step programmes.

"These people will help you cope with the inevitable feeling of awkwardness that new behaviour brings and they will help you deal with that initial sense of emptiness and loss,''he said.

Most of all, though, he emphasised that groups will support people who have slips: "The idea that if you smoke a cigarette, you have failed in your resolve, is ridiculous. Just because you've had one doesn't mean you have to give up. When you start over again, you have a little bit of experience to work with -- a point often made in relapse treatment of alcoholics and drug addicts. Value your achievements so far -- and try again!'' So while both experts warn that even frivolous New Year resolutions are naive perceptions about ourselves and that the New Year itself has no magical powers, they agree that this time of year may be a very suitable time to start thinking and planning about those changes.

PYCHOLOGIST Michael Ashton: "Change is not a simple process but one that requires long-term commitment.'' COUNSELLOR Mr. David Gosling: "Don't be too hard on yourself''.