ERROR RG P4 3.6.1994 P.A.R.E.N.T.S was founded in 1990, not 1960 as stated in Wednesday's Community feature.

Giving birth doesn't automatically make someone a good parent. Much more is needed to nurture a child into becoming a well-rounded, productive adult.

The process begins with good parenting skills which, unfortunately, are lacking in many homes.

In today's world, the demands made upon parents are many and they require a great deal of know-how in order to cope. But where do they turn? One option is the registered charity, Parent Awareness Resources for Educating, Nurturing, Training Skills (P.A.R.E.N.T.S.).

Founded in April, 1960, the organisation grew out of one parent's realisation that there was no one she could turn to once her child turned four. All the literature she could get her hands on dealt with pre-schoolers also.

"Bermuda has resources for dealing with children from infancy to age four at the Child Development Centre. I used it for my children and found it very beneficial, but after that, what do you do?'' said founder/executive board member Mrs. Eileen Brown. "There is nothing in the community to assist parents, so that is where our organisation comes in.'' Her motivation began through her children's involvement in the Suzuki School.

There Mrs. Brown acquired literature based on its philosophy of parental involvement in nurturing children in a loving and positive environment.

Later, through a friend, she heard about Parents Anonymous, a US organisation, and following further enquiries and research she founded P.A.R.E.N.T.S.

From fairly modest beginnings, the Bermuda organisation is now a thriving success.

"We were formed to alleviate the prevalence of verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuse of children and to offer positive child-rearing techniques for parents, as well as pre-parenting skills for prospective parents,'' Mrs.

Brown explained. P.A.R.E.N.T.S. believes in taking a non-accusatory, preventative approach to today's problems of poor parenting, child abuse, and related issues.

"We say that there is always something new to learn. No one has ever taught a parent how to be a parent. Although we have role models, our parents and grandparents may have used techniques which were not appropriate at the time, or which would be inappropriate in this day and time,'' she said.

Through group sessions, the organisation brings parents together in a friendly setting where the trials and tribulations of child-rearing can be mutually discussed and solutions offered. There is no preaching at or criticism of parents. Rather, the approach is entirely positive and based on the premise of teaching or enhancing parenting skills.

"The sessions let the parents know that they have the answers within themselves and they are not the only ones who have a problem,'' Mrs. Brown explained. "When we come together we realise that everyone has some sort of difficulty with their children. In fact, it is often a great relief to parents to discover they are not alone -- especially first-time parents.'' Such sessions also fit in with P.A.R.E.N.T.S.' philosophy of encouraging a return to some of the better aspects of yesteryear's parenting.

"We want to return to older values whereby people looked out for one another and their neighbour's children,'' Mrs. Brown said.

Normally, a facilitator leads the first sessions and then lets the parents become group leaders on a rotating basis. This system gives participants a chance to learn more about themselves and grow as individuals -- often with surprising results.

Books with titles such as "The Parents' Guide -- Solutions to today's most common behaviour problems in the home,'' "Raising Self-Reliant Children,'' and other literature on child-rearing are also available from and distributed by P.A.R.E.N.T.S.

The organisation also conducts six to seven-week workshops from time to time during the school year using techniques devised by H. Stephen Glenn, co-author of "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World.'' "Basically, we use Mr. Glenn's workbook, which is entitled `Developing Capable People','' Mrs. Brown explained. "He advocates certain techniques that parents have to go through to raise a child's self-esteem.

"First, we work on the parents just in case they have low self-worth. Once the parent feels better about him or herself he/she is able to pass that on to the child.'' Participating parents in such workshops are often, but not always, referred to P.A.R.E.N.T.S. by various helping agencies, such as Family Services, the Employee Assistance Programme, the National PTA, the Women's Resource Centre, and others.

Mrs. Brown said that such workshops also include exercises for parents to practice at home -- for example, communicating better with a child. Those who complete the workshops are ultimately awarded a certificate.

Turning to its community-oriented activities, the mother-of-three said her organisation's efforts included funding the attendance of an underprivileged primary student at summer camp; a similar secondary student at Outward Bound; financial assistance to parents and youngsters on a "needs basis''; and sponsorship of 20 children to attend a performance of the recently-completed Kidfest.

P.A.R.E.N.T.S. also works closely with other counselling organisations, making referrals where necessary.

For example, where it is felt that someone first needs to clear up other issues in his or her life before addressing parenting problems, that person will be referred on with the recommendation that they return to P.A.R.E.N.T.S.

afterwards for work on their parenting skills.

"How can you tell someone to keep working on their parenting if there are other issues that are bothering them? So we deal with other issues first,'' Mrs. Brown explained. "Most of the time it is the stress of the other issues which causes parents to lose their cool with their children. We tell parents, `Make sure your child is in a safe place and take time out for yourself, even if it is just for a few moments until you calm down'.'' And since child abuse is a topic in which P.A.R.E.N.T.S. takes a great interest, the organisation also makes referrals to the Coalition for the Protection of Young Children and the Institute of Child and Family Health. The annual blue ribbon campaign helps the community to focus on child abuse prevention.

"We give out helpful leaflets on little ways parents can deal with situations such as an unruly child in a supermarket. These leaflets are also available year-round at the organisation's headquarters,'' Mrs. Brown said.

Representatives of P.A.R.E.N.T.S., an all-volunteer organisation which is affiliated with Parents Anonymous in the US, also attend seminars abroad to increase their knowledge of parenting and child-rearing skills and techniques.

Its volunteer/advisors include lawyers, doctors, registered nurses, educators, psychometrists and business managers.

The organisation's outreach programme includes giving talks and conducting workshops in the community to interested parties such as service organisations, church groups, schoolteachers, businesses, exempt companies, caregivers and more.

For further information on P.A.R.E.N.T.S. telephone 292-7270 or 295-1835, or fax 292-0697.

MRS. EILEEN BROWN.