The following is an open letter from a parent leader: I am a graduate of a Parents Anonymous of Bermuda (PA) group. I joined PA several years ago after my realisation that the cycle of abuse in my family had to be broken after a legacy of victimisation: my grandparents physically abused each other and my parents verbally abused each other. I was the family "`scapegoat'' -- I was emotionally victimised. I, therefore, became an introvert with very low self-worth.

Since I did not want to marry and have a similar dysfunctional family of my own, I sought support from PA. I attended several meetings before I actually participated in the group discussions. At the group sessions, I learned that I was not alone. There were other participants who gave me encouragement.

Consequently, I was able to eliminate my unrealistic expectations, destructive attitudes and harmful behaviour. I, together with my fellow-participants, created a nurturing environment that enhanced competencies and self-esteem. We all recognised that we had to take responsibility for our problems, develop our own solutions and serve as role models for other parents. It was amazing, because our assistance was reciprocated in that we gave each other support and in turn created a strong sense of community. We matured by exploring our feelings and acting on our decisions in an atmosphere of belonging, trust and acceptance in which health interactions were modelled. In actual fact, the group members became my surrogate family. I especially enjoyed the non-judgmental attitude of the professional facilitator, who encouraged us to share responsibility, expertise and leadership roles.

Thanks to my PA family, I have been happily married for five years. We have a three-year-old daughter and are expecting another child in the fall. Prior to getting married, I continued my university education and landed a fabulous job.

Currently, I am an occasional volunteer worker for Parents Anonymous of Bermuda. I recommend that every person who comes in contact with a child join a Parent Anonymous of Bermuda group or at least volunteer to help in some way.

Sincerely, Parents Anonymous of Bermuda Graduate.

*** Parents Anonymous, Inc. is an international organisation that promotes mutual support and parent leadership in order to build and support strong, safe families. The foregoing letter is one of PA's success stories, because of the following commitments or leadership.

1. Search out challenging opportunities to change, grow, innovate and improve.

2. Experiment, take risks and learn from the accompanying mistakes.

3. Envision an uplifting and ennobling future.

4. Enlist others in a common vision by appealing to their values, interests, hopes and dreams.

5. Foster collaboration by promoting cooperative goals and building trust.

6. Strengthen people by giving choices, developing competence, assigning critical tasks, and offering visible support.

7. Set the example by behaving in ways that are consistent with shared values.

8. Achieve small wins that promote consistent progress and build commitment.

9. Recognise individual contributions to the success of every project.

10. Celebrate team accomplishments regularly.