Island's Numero Uno, she remains loyal to her old education portfolio. Hester hears a recent reading association conference at the Sonesta Beach Hotel this past Saturday morning ran beyond its alotted time.

Our Premier certainly would have been excused had she skipped out for her next engagement. Instead, unlike a number of impatient teachers who discreetly slipped out, she remained in her seat the entire time listening intently to the guest speaker, who was advocating an adults-reading-to-children programme.

And what's more, concerned about The Colonel awaiting her in GP1 outside, she sent Education Minister Milton Scott to bring him inside.

Hester has some more scoop on the PLP's upcoming annual conference which is now definitely promising to be a hot one. Plans are still being firmed up, but she hears Jamaican Prime Minister PJ Patterson is virtually set to be the guest of honour at the conference black-tie banquet on October 30. Apparently Patterson, a solid labour man, and the Premier are good chums. Hester hears that shortly after the PLP swept to power last November, she flew off to Jamaica to savour the victory -- and get a few tips of the trade from PJ.

Tickets are on sale now and Hester's looking for a date.

Bermuda may have saved Princess Anne's life! Hester can reveal the Princess Royal was enroute to the Island in a private jet for her busy but unofficial trip when news of London's Paddington train disaster broke. It was a double shock for the Queen's well-liked daughter, for she quickly realised she often travelled on that very doomed 6.03 express train into Paddington, London.

Buckingham Palace confirmed to the British media that HRH normally boards the train at Kemble, close to her Gatcombe Park home in Gloucestershire. However, of course, when the crash happened she was still at home, getting ready to leave for her visit to Bermuda and had no plans to take the train on that day.

Said a Royal spokesman: "Princess Anne frequently uses the train. It brings her into London at the right time when she has to work or is needed here.'' Hester hears HRH and her three ladies-in-waiting, along with the Deputy Governor, diligently monitored the news while in Bermuda and a shocked Princess Anne acknowledged she could very well have been in the deadly train collision.

There appears to be an urgent local e-mail campaign underway in Bermuda -- to make sure Elvis doesn't wind up Time Magazine's Person of the Century for its December issue (people around the world are being allowed to vote electronically).

But time is running out, as one local resident observed in a chain e-mail that reached Hester urging her to cast a vote for Dr. Martin Luther King . There appears to be a groundswell of local support for the American civil rights hero to get the honour; "Let's start a wave of votes for him,'' the e-mailer urged, "Please vote so that Dr. King can at least supplant Adolf Hitler on this list!'' Alas, Hester can report the situation is indeed dire. This week's standings have Yitzhak Rabin in the number one spot, followed by Elvis Presley, then Billy Graham, Hitler fourth, then Albert Eistein, the Pope and finally Dr.

King. Get online now! The seventeen top London legal eagles who crowded into "Court 5'' in Hamilton this week for the beginning of the Baron Thyssen-Bournemisza trial-of-the-century already seem to be getting a bit hot and bothered under the collar.

Hester thinks this just may be because the lady and gentleman barristers have refused to shed their expensive Saville Row suits, made of the purest -- and hottest -- English wool. Heavy hand-made brogues and woolly socks donned by the males no doubt added to the discomfort of the obviously sweltering members of the bar.

Add to the silks in dark suits, the traditional black gown and wig, and you have 17 very uncomfortable highly paid lawyers. With many asking 500 pounds an hour for their services, you'd think they could pop down to Trimingham's and purchase a nice tropical weight suit -- Bermuda shorts would be even better, but they are not allowed under the court's dress rules! Still on the subject of these venerable lawyers, Hester hears that because the trial is expected to last as long as a year, they've arrived with their wives and kids in tow, some of whom have even been enrolled in local private schools. And on the first day of the much anticipated court case, a trail of proud spouses packed into the public benches to see how their other halves were doing. One learned member even got up to give his carefully-coifed wife a peck on the cheek -- midway through the proceedings!.

The SUNshine tabloid has been finding fertile ground of late at The Royal Gazette for its, er, copycat gossip column. Alas, it had its own dark day last week. It all started when, for reasons known only to the goofy reporter, a very naughty word -- in its shocking entirety -- was slipped into a Viewpoint interviewee's comments on the Dolphin Quest fiasco; "The people in charge are just full of b*&%-$**!,'' the man interviewed so eloquently declared.

No sooner had the swearword appeared in print, than the SUNshine as well as the Gazette were deluged with comments and phonecalls from incensed parents and citizens demanding to know if editorial policy had been radically altered.

Hester hears DOGS Minister Terry Lister himself personally complained to the SUNshine about the offensive article. Added to the SUNshine's shame was that the bad word got past the eyes of the editors on duty -- and they can't blame the proofreader because he decided to knock off early! Talk about red faces! But the humiliation doesn't end there...the Business section -- most of which was devoted to news about the paper's ailing owners -- decided to print an unusual gushing front-page apology to HWP car king Don Mackenzie for a fairly innocuous photo mix-up (Hester's sure that had nothing to do with HWP's coveted advertising dollars).

Last but not least, Hester was interested to read an absolutely glowing feature on budding local playwright Warren Cabral's new musical set for London's West End and all the hard work he put into it, written by none other than his wife...but nowhere does it state that salient point.

P.s. For the reporter's information, b%&*$ !$ is one word, not two! Love songs: As the world's media hungrily speculates about an imminent engagement, Hester wonders if this picture she obtained is worth a thousand words. Movie star Michael Douglas looks on as current flame Catherine Zeta-Jones sings "You're the best thing that ever happened to me'' at the piano (and boy can this Welsh lady sing) at his family-owned resort Ariel Sands Club, where they happily posed for photos with hotel guests. The couple were here earlier this month having a break after their all-night joint birthday bash at New York's trendy One51.