priest at St. Mark's. What would Jesus think of it all? From what she can gather, some of the parishioners, including the choir, don't like the fact Father William Hayward has never had his own church and is a single guy. (Are those big sins?) So angered are these Christians, that they boycotted Fr. Hayward's installation service last Sunday. Hester can reveal they weren't the only ones who stayed away. Some of the most senior rectors in the Anglican church were suspiciously absent, such as Canon Francis, Rev.

Tilson, Rev. Hollis of St. George's, and Rev. Moore. Apparently, at the root of this unholy war is the lack of qualified Bermudian men of the cloth amidst the climate of an anti-work permit Government. For a church that's been here as long as Bermuda has, some of Hester's sources think it could have done a better job of training Bermudians to take the pulpit. To that end the PLP showed up in force for the service, sitting alongside Governor Thorold Masefield were Premier Jennifer Smith , Environment Minister Arthur Hodgson , Finance Minister Eugene Cox , Home Affairs Minister Paula Cox and MP Delaey Robinson .

And with hundreds of parishioners and curious visitors filling the church and grounds, the service was not without incident. Hester can report one person eager to glimpse the service fell over backwards in the crowd and knocked themselves out. Then there was the spectacle of the PLP delegation jumping to its feet, for of all things, to eagerly belt out God Save the Queen...Something, the founding fathers must have turned over in their graves across the way. By the way, Hester must point out that The Royal Gazette's pro-Independence Scots reporter refused to have any part of singing the Empire's theme, stubbornly sitting arms-folded throughout.

Still a bit of a newshound at her golden age, Hester managed to sneak into one of those get-rich-quick pyramid scheme get-togethers a week ago.

And what a load of baloney they are! For this particular pyramid, "multi-level'' or "matrix marketing'' scheme -- whatever you want to call it -- in order to have the privilege of being part of it, you had to: A. Hand over $6,000 cash, as in you won't get it back, it finds its way up the pyramid; and B. Take a trip to Cancun and pay for it out of your pocket. Huh! Yep.

Apparently organisers think this will get their potential victims out of their usual surroundings so they are more inclined to make an insane decision, as in part with another six grand, or, you're told, whatever you can afford.

Incidentally, this particular scheme is affiliated with a US organisation by the name of Global something or the other. They are the ones who take over management of the second investment which is akin basically to throwing your money in a high-risk investment, such as an IPO. Sure, rewards can be high, and there are lots of success stories of people who have doubled and tripled their investments, although that's not surprising given the stock market's recent behaviour.

So ultimately, thinks Hester, who is no money whiz, if you can afford to take risks with your money, why not go to a licensed financial advisor or broker instead of some dubious group of greedy capitalists, or should that be police constables and inspectors? Talking about Police, Hester hears Superintendent Gertie Barker , whose trip through the ranks has been nothing short of meteoric, is off very soon to a UK top cop college, fuelling rumours among the boys and girls in blue that she may be in line for the Commissioner's post once Top Mountie Jean-Jacques Lemay's contract is up in a year. While some sources have her pegged as the next Commish, others say it's the Deputy Commish post she will get, with Supt.

Jonathan Smith at the helm. But then in Bermuda, politics rules pretty much everything, so we'll just have to see...In the meantime, life may get a little more easier for our current Commissioner. Hester's noticed his new bride Dr. Tania Brigitte Lemay has made application to be included on the local Register of Medical Practitioners, which may mean an end to their long-distance relationship.

UBP Senator Mark Pettingill would like Hester's readers to know that he is, after all, a bit of a modern man when it comes to parenting.

Hester reported two weeks ago that the barrister was keen to set the record straight when Puisne Judge Charles-Etta Simmons said she approved of his intention to be at his wife's side for the impending birth of their second child. Swiftly rebutting the suggestion -- which is probably actionable in UBP circles -- that he was a new man, Sen Pettingill had pointed out that he was of the old school who would actually rather smoke a cigar outside. But in court again on Tuesday, before the same judge, he proudly declared his wife had given birth to a girl on Sunday, and: "I was present for the whole thing -- and I cut the (umbilical) cord,'' he said, adding, "I voice that for the ears of Hester!'' Of course, one of Hester's omniscient snouts was able to relay the news to her.

Hester wonders if she's the only one becoming increasingly concerned that the New Internet Economy is radically altering society. To add to her fears she read an article in the Washington Post this week about a Stanford University study which found a "Web of workaholic misfits'' has been created by the Internet -- "A class of socially isolated people who spend more hours at the office (because they spend so much time on the Internet), work still more hours from home, and are so solitary they can hardly be bothered to call their folks on their birthday.'' And it's getting worse. Not only do we have to worry about Big Brother anti-crime CCTV cameras watching us Island-wide, but live "webcams'' are springing up all over the place...even here in Bermuda.

The BioStation has one pointed across Ferry Reach, and now a website called bermudashorts.bm has announced it's set up a live webcam to spy on the Island.

PS: Hester hears more are on the way in some very prominent spots about the Island. She'll update you soon. And in the meantime, don't do anything you wouldn't want your mother to see!