ANNIE'S MAILBOX(R) FOR RELEASE: SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2010
Dear Annie: For the past eight months, my 18-year-old son has been dating a girl who just turned 16. Call me naive, but I didn't realize they were sexually active. Recently, I discovered some alarmingly pornographic pictures of this girl on my son's computer. I was stunned, and I deleted all the pictures. I am opposed to his sexual activity, but I am more fearful that there might be accusations against my son of having child pornography in his possession. Kids today don't understand the ramifications of sharing pictures like this, and I'm afraid my son is going to get into a great deal of legal trouble.
If he has pictures of her, I expect she has similar pictures of him. If her parents find these, I am petrified they will have my son arrested. I'm also concerned that if my son and his girlfriend break up, things could get nasty and my otherwise nice child will have a sex crime attached to his life forever.
In this day and age, nude pictures of an underage girlfriend are no different than pictures of an undressed 4-year-old. I am divorced, and my ex is, for the most part, out of my son's life. I expect his father would dismiss me as a worrywart.
How dangerous is this, and how do I get across the seriousness of the situation to my son and make sure he knows that he needs to keep his pants zipped and stop taking pictures? -- Freaked-Out Mom
Dear Mom: Sending and receiving nude photographs of an underage teen is considered trafficking in child pornography, and teenagers can be (and have been) prosecuted. Anyone 18 or older in possession of such pictures might have to register as a sex offender. These pictures can also make their way around the Internet and be on view forever to anyone, causing teens to lose summer jobs and college scholarships. The most common instances involve sexting, so it's quite likely similar photos are on your son's cell phone.
Please explain this calmly and rationally to your son. His girlfriend is 16 now, and current pictures may not be considered child pornography, but the older pictures are still a risk. Ask him to delete all such photos and to promise not to forward any pictures of her, new or old, to anyone else.
Dear Annie: I am the product of an affair my mother had. After 50 years, I finally met my birth father and his wife. He acknowledged the relationship, but asked me to not reveal it to his children until after his death. I agreed.
Over the years, his wife and I exchanged holiday cards and e-mails. She recently died, and he is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. One of my half-siblings has died, and my remaining half-sisters are getting quite old. I would like to contact them. I have always felt cut off from having a complete family. Should I let them know or just continue to stay out of their lives? -- Need Advice in Virginia
Dear Virginia: You made a promise to say nothing as long as your biological father is alive, and we think you should respect that. He obviously did not want to be confronted by his children about the affair. It is more than likely his daughters will outlive him. Please be patient a little longer.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Worried Friend," whose single-mother neighbor has a male friend who is overly involved with her 13-year-old daughter. I urge "Worried" to treat this seriously.
Years ago, when I visited my sister, we would comment on how odd it was that next-door neighbor "Don" would go camping with the neighborhood boys nearly every weekend. We thought it strange that he didn't seem to be building any relationships with adults.
Indeed, after cultivating friendships with the boys, Don was molesting them. A lot of young lives were messed up because the parents trusted Don's motivations and thought it was great that he took an interest in their sons. -- California
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM