I must have peed 45 times yesterday afternoon but I still needed to go again the very second I hit the massage table. Despite multiple pre-emptive bathroom trips, I felt that familiar tinge of discomfort the moment my treatment started. As I pee like a regular person on days when I don't have massage appointments (sadly, the vast majority of days), I don't think I have diabetes – it's just a case of Murphy's Law.

So I fought back the temptation to take a bathroom break 30 seconds-in and instead started thinking about Christmas. Whether it was the thought of two weeks holiday coming up, the magical hands of my masseuse or the Inner Sanctum spa music, I was in a state of total relaxation within minutes. Over the next half hour I pondered all things Christmassy – especially stockings and cake.

Despite the fact that my brother and I are both over 30, if anyone suggested not doing stockings at Christmas, there'd be a bit of an uproar. We'd also be upset if there wasn't any Christmas cake, despite the fact that neither of us really like it. Just like roast turkey and a Nativity service, Christmas isn't Christmas without fruit cake – but who do you know that actually likes it?

There's a reason why wedding cakes are more commonly made from sponge these days, and that's because no-one's that into dried fruit. However, in my quest to find a gluten-free alternative to every type of Christmas goody last year, I did find an outstanding fruit cake recipe. Gluten-free bread or cakes are usually very disappointing – dry and crumbly – and yet this one really took me by surprise.

Now if you are either catering for someone with a gluten intolerance or would simply like to test out my definition of a culinary miracle, try out the fruit cake recipe below. It's labour intensive but really worth the effort – especially as even die-hard fruit cake haters tend to love it. As is the way in Bermuda though, you will of course have to do a multiple grocery store shop for the ingredients – brace yourself!

However, if you just can't face the thought of fruit cake this year – then consider trying the Mandarin Orange Cake (also gluten-free). It's one of my absolute favourites and unlike the fruit cake, very simple to do. It does look plain when cooked, but this is so deceptive as it's amazingly light and delicious. Dress it up for Christmas by dusting with icing sugar, adding a sprig of holly and serving with berries.

Gluten, wheat and dairy-free Christmas cake

Ingredients:

175g Earth Balance vegan margarine (Down to Earth, Lindos)

110g molasses

75g soft, dark brown sugar

150ml Silk soy milk (red carton)

110g dates, chopped

300g raisins

200g dried plums,chopped

110g glace cherries, chopped

225g brown rice flour (Down to Earth, Harrington Hundreds)

2 tsp gluten-free baking powder (widely available)

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg

110g ground almonds (I got mine from Miles)

2 lemons, the grated rind of

3 eggs

Method:

1. Place the margarine, molasses, sugar and soy milk in a large pan along with all the dried fruit. Heat gently and stir until all the margarine has melted.

2. Simmer for 1 minute and then take off the heat and cover. Leave the fruit to "swell" for at least 2 hours – even overnight if you have time.

3. Line the base and sides of a round (8ins) or square cake tin (7ins) with baking paper. Make sure that the paper rises at least 5cm above the rim of the tin.

4. Put all the other ingredients into a large mixing bowl and mix roughly.

5. Add the fruit mixture and mix by hand or using an electric mixer (not a blender!) on low speed. Mix well.

6. Pour the cake mix into the tin and smooth the surface with a wet knife.

7. Bake for two hours and 40 minutes at 250 F or 110 C (fan assisted)/130C (no fan)

8. Leave to cool in the tin until cold

9. Ice as you would an ordinary Christmas cake, or make a "butter" icing using Earth Balance margarine, icing sugar and a little brandy!

Mandarin Orange Cake

Ingredients:

* 375g tinned mandarin oranges, drained weight. (Try to find them tinned in juice, not syrup. If you can't find mandarin oranges, this actually works well with tinned peaches or apricots instead.)

* 6 eggs

* 225g caster sugar (remember this is a treat only!)

* 250g ground almonds

* 1 heaped tsp gluten-free baking powder

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 190 C or 375 F

2. Grease a 21cm (approx) spring-form tin well with butter or dairy-free margarine e.g. Earth Balance from Down to Earth. A spring form tin has a clip on the side that enables you to detach the sides from the bottom.

3. Blend the mandarins (or peaches/apricots) for about 5 seconds, so that they form a liquid pulp.

4. In a bowl, beat the eggs.

5. Stir in the sugar

6. Stir in the almonds and baking powder

7. Stir in the pulp

8. Pour into the tin (fairly liquid, so don't panic!) and bake for one hour. 30 mins into the cooking time, quickly cover the tin with foil or baking parchment to prevent the cake from burning.

9. Allow to cool, then refrigerate.

10. Dust with icing sugar and serve with berries.

The advice given in this article is not intended to replace medical advice, but to complement it. Always consult your GP if you have any health concerns. Catherine Burns is a fully qualified Nutritional Therapist. She can be contacted at clinicalnutrition@gmail.com