Becoming an usher requires a transformation, a rite of passage you might say, from being a nice person to one who merely appears to be nice while inwardly seething with rage towards their fellow church-goers who order them around like hired servants.

This was one of the many insights graced upon the audience who attended 'Church Folk Make Me Laugh Too: Revenge of the Ushers'.

Directed by Reverend Cyril S. Simmons, this was a performance to behold! This triple C event (Clean Christian Comedy, yeah, I just made that up) was extremely well attended by folk of all races, age and denomination. I attended the Saturday night performance which was so full that people were trying to sit on the floor!

Rather than one long play, this performance was broken down into various skits, videos and dance performances. The show did not disappoint with laughs throughout all the sets, memorable characters, and phrases that are sure to be used by all those who know how to speak Christianese.

The show had a good balance of humour, and plenty of interaction with the audience. The characters Sally and Jane, two old church ladies with unique outfits and hats as well as a desperate need to find a man, opened the night and remained popular figures throughout the evening.

Not five minutes after they joined the audience by taking their seats, some real audience members were ushered down the front. Jane was quick to point her flashlight at these poor souls and yell out, "Would you look at those people! They are LATE!" They epitomised that Christian soul who even answer their cell phone with, "Hello, hallelujah, praise the Lord, thank you Jesus?" These two sisters need prayer, but I loved them and the spectators did as well.

The Richard Allen AME Dance ministry did a few performances, and the young people gave their all.

Dressed in black, red and camouflage, (and the music set to popular gospel,) these urban-looking young men and women did themselves proud with their coordination and energy.

Next we witnessed a rather unique show entitled 'Church Idol'. Obviously going off the more popular namesake, we saw Ryan Seacrest (Dean Foggo), Simon Cowell (Rev. Cyril Simmons), Paula Abdul (Zina Darrell) and Randy Jackson (Kenisha Francis) give their opinions on the "performances".

Little known siblings of BeBe and CeCe Winans (DeDe and EeEe, in case you didn't know) gave a very special rendition of 'Jesus Loves Me' to which Simon responded: "That was terrible! I'd rather be taken outside in my underwear and tied to a truck and dragged over a bed of nails than listen to you two sing again."

He didn't seem too impressed at the next performers either, the stepsisters of Destiny's Child…Destiny's (wait for it) Brats. This time Simon let them down gently with: "That was terrible! It was like taking 1,000 little birds and then bludgeoning them at the same time." Sally and Jane's announcements at Church Idol got this from Simon, "Wow. They look like Mary Poppins on LSD!"

The last performer on Church Idol was the lovely Thulisa Mandonci who blessed the crowd with a simple a cappella that got Simon's hand-clapping approval. Wonder who the winner was, though…the votes didn't seem to come in from Bermuda that well since everyone was going to be charged direct-dial rates.

Two very popular characters were "De Babylon" members Kunta Kinte Johnson and his wife Juanita Benita Margarita Johnson. Utilizing skits both on stage and on video, we were blessed with the understanding that "de Babylon" is really, in fact, "nothing more than Mother Goose herself!"

Says Kunta: "Look at it. 'Baa, baa, BLACK sheep…' Why the sheep gotta be black? Why it couldn't be a Chinese sheep or something?" The audience had quite a few chuckles over the ravings of the over-zealous self-made enlightened one. Kunta and his wife even managed to interview Dr. Eva Hodgson and Charmaine Burgess. Dr. Hodgson let them down (as she stood up to leave) with her dry "You need to give this a lot more thought. I'll call you. Don't you call me!" Very disastrous. Very funny.

After a short intermission, marriage advice was given to soon-to-be wed "Ima" from "Wasa" and "Coulda" during the next skit. Sister Wasa gave some good advice to Ima by asking her if her betrothed had a job. "Even the Bible talks about having a job," she insists. "In the Old Testament, there's 42 whole chapters about a Job!"

Sister Rt Rev Doctor Prophetess Goldstein broadened our vocabularies in the skit "Christianese 102: Jeopardy" which was complete with sound effects, logo and board. Cute references were made to Belco's rates, the local stations/cable company fiasco and ex-husbands under the category "The Devil is a Liar". Hmmmm. Perhaps wrongly named, but perfectly understood and appreciated by the audience.

Loving people as they are is the moral of the second to last skit 'When Pastor's not Around'. While they think the pastor can't hear them, Francine Trott's and Dean Foggo's characters get at each other's throat! Here's a joke from that episode: You're mama's so fat, that when she goes swimming, the whales start singing (get ready to groan) "We are family"!

The clincher of the night, and hence the name of the show, was performed in the last skit 'Revenge of the Ushers'. Through the guided commentary of a female Steve Irwin-like character who is studying the usher "species", we learned of the vigorous training it takes to become an usher.

In the course of this skit, mild-mannered Betty, who thinks it's her calling to become an usher, learns it's no mild-mannered position. One must master the ancient art of usher-fu, handshakes with gloves (which Michael Jackson stole by the way), and bulletin wielding. Along the way, Betty trains to the "Rocky" theme until she is ready to go head-to-head with the churchgoers.

When a confrontation between Betty and a latecomer escalates into an all out war, the members, pastor, and even the disguised guide are knocked out by the professional ushers. Posing like Bond girls, they growl, "Don't mess with the ushers!"

All in all I had a great time at the show. The sound was a minor issue at times, but got worked out fairly quickly. I think that the writing and acting was perfectly done for the target audience, thus it was very well supported. Everyone seemed to like it because no one was safe they made fun of everyone!

If there was anything negative to say about the show, it might be that it was a bit long. Three hours can be a bit long in that kind of setting, especially with such a short intermission. Other than that, the event was planned well, acted well and received well. The cast seemed to get along great, and there was a good mix of talent there as well. I'd like to see more of a balance of people in terms of how often people are used. Maybe they need some more actors! Considering that proceeds were towards the Tonia Minors Scholarship Fund, it seemed a good event and one that should be repeated.

It seems to me that the Richard Allen Toni's really take the Bible literally when it says in Proverbs 17:22, "A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing…" So, laughter really is the best medicine? If it's the Richard Allen Toni's, give me another dose!