Steps to Success: Life is the Metaphor you Make itLife is like a pomegranate.My favourite winter fruit salad (because it is like a bowl of sunshine), calls for fresh pomegranates currently in season. Recently, in the midst of preparing one, it stuck me what a great analogy for life I had in my hands: this odd-shaped fruit, ugly yet beautiful, and rather a mystery. It’s hard to know how best to approach it.I decided to just dive right in there. I chopped it in half to make a start. Doing it this way, I encountered some losses, not unlike the mistakes we make along the way. And it was messy, but so is living. Inside though, the gorgeous fruit lies waiting: clusters of delicate juicy rubies so tender they can burst, leaving just a seed and stained fingers.At first glance we might worry there’s not much there as they are embedded in a maze of pith and membrane. Yet the more we explore, we uncover those hidden gems worth looking for. Sometimes it’s just a thin veil of separation, the mask that needs lifting, that reveals the prize.A firm but gentle touch is most definitely required. We have to push to get to the good stuff but pressing too hard will leave us empty-handed.So, the analogies pile up.Then a friend in the kitchen said, “Pomegranate, really? Isn’t it just a bunch of bitter seeds, more trouble than it’s worth?”And just like life, we can choose to focus on the seeds or we can choose the joy of the sweet, good fruit. Whatever we focus on will be how we experience it.So having had this entire revelation and conversation with myself, when I walked in the grocery store the next day, I was absolutely tickled pink to find a display of leaflets with a guide offering ‘how to efficiently and effectively open a pomegranate’. As a success coach, the irony of this was not lost on me. And for the record, the trick is to separate it all in a bowl of water as the membrane and skin floats to the top.So why am I sharing my ruminations on fruit with you?Because metaphors are everywhere.By definition, a metaphor represents or likens one thing to another and implies their similarities. Our language is full of metaphors: “what an angel”, “the old battleaxe”, “it’s a dog’s life”, “I’m just spinning my wheels”, “the chips are down”, “hung out to dry”… they are endless.Metaphors are a way of helping us to understand concepts by relating them to other images and ideas we already know or get. They are therefore also a great way of learning: think of fables, parables and many religious teachings stories representing greater ideologies.The use of metaphor is so ingrained that, subconsciously, we each hold onto metaphors that describe the way we view and understand our world and our dealings within it. Often these are things we’ve just picked up, heard or saw that made an impression on us and stuck, and we may not even be fully unaware of them or their influence on us.Each metaphor we adopt comes with a set of beliefs, expectations and ideas that result from it. Imagine the effect that the following metaphors could have, if a person were to view their work as either:1. a necessary evil in order to get a paycheque2. a gift3. sucking the life blood out of them4. contributing to a better societyEach metaphor might greatly impact that person’s approach, feelings and input to their job. And the list of possible metaphors is huge.Another example is Bermuda. What difference would it make if we saw Bermuda as:1. a cash cow2. a paradise3. a hole we’re stuck in4. a birthright5. one large family6. a fledgling to nurture7. a privilegeEach different view dictates the way we might treat the Island and our community.The metaphors we use have an effect on our unconscious beliefs about virtually everything including people, possibility, our work, our effort and even life itself and can influence the decisions we make, how we think, what we feel and the actions we take.Tony Robbins, in his book, ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ dedicates a whole chapter to the power of metaphor. He describes that by simply changing our global metaphors (the big ones we hold that affect several areas of our lives) we can transform the way we look at life and in turn how we feel about it, about ourselves, our relationships etc and what we then do and how we show up in the world.The more we tell ourselves something, the more we begin to believe it, and the moment we represent things differently in our minds, the moment our feelings about it begin to change. We naturally believe what our minds tell us.So what are your current metaphors? Perhaps take a moment to write them down.What are your metaphors for life? You may have several.Life is…An adventure? Sacred? A chore? A b**ch and then you die? A joke? A game? A battle? Fill in your blank.Relationships are…Children are…Work is…My body is…And what else?It may surprise you what comes up. Looking at each metaphor, ask yourself:l What are the positive and negative consequences of believing this?l What rules and beliefs come attached to each that may be limiting me somehow or keeping me trapped in a negative cycle?l Are there any that are not serving me?Being aware of them allows us to change to ones that will serve us better. We can choose to adopt more empowering metaphors.Why not go through the list above and determine some new metaphors that support how you truly want to feel about these important aspects of your life.Imagine the positive effects of reminding ourselves of these powerful metaphors and living by them every day.How can you use some simple metaphors to create new ways of seeing things, alter unhelpful thoughts or patterns and help you make positive changes in your life?Decide for yourself how you would like to approach your pomegranate.The fruit salad, by the way, is from a Nigella Lawson cookbook and is just chunks of fresh mango, blueberries and pomegranate seeds combined together with a lime squeezed over until it’s the perfect balance of colour, shape, taste and texture.You see, for me, life is a delicious treat worth sharing!Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner.For further information telephone 705-7488 or visit www.juliapittcoaching.com.