Hurtling towards the ground, just seconds from death Heidi Capuano could have been forgiven for giving up skydiving when her fifteenth jump went wrong.

But the Bermudian has now completed more than 300 jumps and is hoping to jump with a team at the Bermuda air show in June and is appealing for someone to lend a plane.

She has teamed up with active skydiver and Bermuda resident Mike Crow and is hoping to meet organiser Kurvin Spence in the next few weeks.

"I am absolutely desperate to sky dive in my own country. I have called everyone on the Island I know who owns a plane."

She is hoping the Ace Gulfstream plane can be loaned but she isn't sure if it is even possible to jump from such a plane.

Heidi fell in love with skydiving at age seven after seeing a family friend make a jump in California where the family had moved to when she was four.

She finally went up while on a recruiting trip in Canada for a Bermuda employment agency.

After a gruelling six-hour course learning every possible response to more than 100 mid-air malfunctions she headed off in a tiny Cesna.

"I was terrified," says Heidi who admits to be scared of heights.

"As I walked to the plane I took three steps, looked back at Adam my instructor for reassurance, and then took another three steps, then looked back.

"I am scared of heights over ten feet. That was one of the reasons for doing it ? to confront what I was most afraid of. If I can do that I can do anything."

Once finally aboard the Cesna, Heidi had to crawl out and hang from a wing strut rather than jump.

"I didn't realise how difficult this until I put my first foot out going at 120 miles an hour. The wind blast blew my foot off. I felt I would be blown away.

"Just outside the door you have to shimmy over and then hang from the strut until the instructor gives the signal to let go. I climbed out at 3,500 feet.

"I remember thinking I was going to die. I was terrified.

"My eyes were closed, I didn't open them until they opened by chute."

But when she did the experience was life changing.

"There's an amazing rush the first time. It's known as an airgasm. Suddenly all your problems seem tiny to what's just transpired.

"It's a feeling like you are on top of the world. When I landed I felt I could accomplish anything in the world.

"I felt like I was flying through the clouds, you feel like you are floating on air even though you are falling."

"It was the most amazing feeling, an overwhelming sense of clarity. I remember thinking this is what I am here for, this is my calling in life."

With the airgasm Heidi had forgotten about her fear of heights. "You are so high all you can see is clouds."

But there was trouble ahead.

As the last person to leave she got split up from the group and was given the news that she would have to land on her own from her colleagues who were a mile of way and out of sight.

She wasn't even able to ask for help on the one-way radio.

"They told me to find an open area to land in. I saw a farm and saw cows below me but didn't know if they were bulls."

She then found herself hurtling towards a huge log fence and had to put the brakes on early to avoid hitting it. She landed half a foot in front of it, lost skin from her elbow and tore up her landing suit but was otherwise unscathed.

Next up was a skydiving school in California where she passed the first three levels of the seven levels at the first go at the cost of $300 as she strived to complete the course in the five days before returning to Bermuda.

At level 4 where you have to free fall on your own the nightmares began and the bills mounted.

The first time she got stuck in a static spin, the second time she was spinning while moving across the sky, the third time was even more out of control as she hurtled towards the ground at 13,500.

"At one point I thought I was going to die. I could not think of anything else."

Once again her instructor caught and righted her. On the ground he told her to relax and said he was tired of wrestling with her in mid-air. "It's the hardest thing to do when you are falling at 120 miles an hour."

Feeling exhausted it was tempting to give up but her instructor saw that tired people are more able to relax.

"He said just be like a rag doll. I tried it, I was stable. It was like riding a bike. He let me go and I stayed there and he gave me the thumbs up that I had got it."

She pressed on, determined to learn to sky dive but had to complete the course with her 13th dive ? always a nervous one for anyone. "I got it. I was determined not to go back without a diploma."

Next up was New York where she aimed to get a licence. She had to take a refresher jump but on her fifteenth jump things went badly wrong when the pilot chute wrapped around the centre of the canopy of the main chute and rendered it uncontrollable.

"I tried to fix it but it collapsed."

She had no choice but to try the reserve. "You have one more parachute, if that malfunctions in six seconds you will be hitting the ground at 120 mph.

"It was very surreal, I was very scared. It took two seconds for the reserve to open but it felt like five minutes. When that parachute opened up it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I landed without a scratch."

In 2000, she moved to Skydive City, Florida living on her life savings and cash from part-time work. She spent hours in the wind tunnel learning to negotiate 120 mph blasts while not slamming into the tunnels steel walls. "When you mess up you can get hurt but it's excellent training. It's very turbulent because its artificial."

After making 200 jumps Heidi was making such good progress she was asked to join a four-person jump team by people who had competed thousands of jumps.

"I was surprised they wanted me but I had an unbelievable amount of coaching with 60 coached jumps and plenty of tunnel time."

Now installed as part of the Evolution team, comprised of an American man and woman and a large Russian named Igor, she worked gruelling sessions with the goal of competing in the national championships.

Weighed down with 18 pound weights to balance Igor's bulk, sessions were split between sky diving sessions and rehashes of what went wrong on platforms like skateboarding before dashing off to jump again. "It was back to back, there was no time to pee.

"It was extremely difficult for my body," said the petite five-foot-three inch Heidi. "My kidney's were pressed by the weights."

The coach then told Heidi to bulk up on doughnuts while the six-foot, 200-pound Igor was told to lose pounds and put on a strict fruit and veg-based diet.

The strain took its toll and the team broke up just weeks away from the competition and the $1,200 a month she had poured into diving had been wasted.

Now Heidi, 31, is back in Bermuda earning money with the employment company she set up years earlier although she still has a trailer at the SkyDive City drop zone along with another 70-odd skydive enthusiasts.

"I am looking for a sponsor, I have exhausted all my savings on skydiving. I spent $6,000."

But skydiving remains her true love and she has even performed the tricky manoeuvre of jumping out of a helicopter at The World Freefall Convention in Illinois, which can result in decapitation if done incorrectly.

Despite making hundreds of jumps heights are still a problem for her. "Two years ago we went to the lighthouse and I nearly passed out. My friends were teasing me that I was a skydiver."

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