too good to be true ? a discipline system for parents and children called ?1-2-3 Magic?, which promises to do away with family arguments and create a peaceful household. But according to Kathy Harriott, clinical supervisor and counsellor at Hamilton?s Women?s Resource Centre, it really does work.

She doesn?t claim it?s a piece of cake though. Parents who take part in Kathy?s new five-week course aimed at tackling tantrums, bad behaviour and a whole lot more, have to put in the hours.

The course meets each Tuesday from 5.30 p.m. to 7.30 p.m., when moms and dads and anyone else who cares for kids aged two to 12 and wants to do better are put through their paces.

The parenting course is based on the teachings of child psychologist Dr. Thomas Phelan, whose ?1-2-3 Magic? book is a bestseller.

Kathy read the book a few years ago and has since attended Dr. Phelan?s seminars when he has visited Bermuda.

She?s a firm advocate of his practical discipline techniques, which she began teaching on the Island in 2003.

?If your house just seems chaotic, I would recommend it,? she says.

?I love teaching it. I like doing group work and I love the feedback I get from families.

?They are very sceptical when they come in and when they start to use it and it works, it is wonderful. It?s for any parent who would like some calm in their household.?

Some of the parents who attend Kathy?s courses are referrals from the Island?s Child and Family Services departments. In those cases, the youngsters involved may be on the brink of going into foster care and the onus is on keeping the family unit intact.

But for the most part, people take it upon themselves to join the course. Since 2003, Kathy has helped over 70 families achieve better harmony.

?We often have couples and we often get single people, usually mom,? says Kathy. ?There can be a maximum of 12 in the class and it is much better if both the parents or whoever looks after the child, be it mom and grandmother, attends.?

She explains that though the course focuses on discipline, it is not about power.

?It?s the parents? behaviour that?s the most important part,? she says. ?Most parents do too much talking ? they explain too much. The child doesn?t really care; it doesn?t help.

?It?s about respect and it helps children to implement their own boundaries. It?s not about power and control because I wouldn?t want to teach a course like that.?

Instead, the practical advice offered focuses on two types of behaviour ? stop behaviours and start behaviours.

Parents are told how to stop their child doing ?naughty? things, such as answering back or hitting, and how to start them doing more positive things, like their homework.

?It works on a lot of reward stuff,? says Kathy. ?The system doesn?t allow arguing. The kid can?t badger to do something. It won?t work.?

Parents are taught to ?count? their children?s behaviour. Each time youngsters carry out a ?stop? behaviour they are ?counted? and when they reach number three it?s ?time out?. That means they go to their room or are subject to some other suitable punishment.

?Children know how to count and they get it very quickly,? says Kathy. ?It takes a few times and then the changes become apparent.

?There is nothing bad about the kids. It?s the parenting that needs to be worked on.?

Apart from the obvious benefits at home, Kathy says parents also enjoy being able to chat to others in a similar situation in a group environment.

?The group is really wonderful ? it?s such a relief for them,? she says. ?We have to learn to parent and the way you learn is from your parents. If they didn?t do a great job at discipline, you might not either. But it?s good to share that with others, try out the techniques and come back to report on how you did.?

Although the course is not specifically designed for parents of special needs children, such as those with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder(ADHD), it can help them too. Kathy says the techniques have assisted with the upbringing of her eight-year-old grandson, who has Asperger?s Syndrome, a form of autism.

?It depends on the degree of the learning disability,? she says. ?My grandson has Asperger?s and it works well with him when mum sticks with it!?

Feedback from former group members suggests the techniques really do work. ?I do a one-month follow up and the feedback has mostly been hugely grateful,? says Kathy. ?I do see people in the street after that and they tell me it?s still working.

?I do a pre-stress test and a post-stress test when I ask how much stress is in the family. It can drop from a stress level of nine out of ten to three or four.?

And she insists it?s not just parents who are big fans of the ?1-2-3? method. ?Children are happy and more contented,? she says. ?We had one family where the middle child was a boy and he was delighted they were coming to parenting classes because the house was so much calmer.

?He was thrilled with it. It gives the children really clear boundaries. That?s healthy and very good for them. It allows children to shape up.?