Finally we are able to watch Bermuda
And things got off to a great start with fast bowler Kevin Hurdle taking the wickets of openers skipper Michael Vaughan and number two Ed Joyce — Hurdle clean bowled Joyce while David Hemp took a superb catch to send Vaughan back to the pavilion.
Actually if you were watching as I was you didn’t see the two wickets actually being taken — all you saw was a test screen with the same inane ads being played over and over.
Finally 45 minutes after the first ball the picture was “found”.
All in all the commentators of Paul Allott, Greg Blewett, Nick Knight, Bob Willis and Jimmy Adams were very fair to Bermuda. And quite impressed with us as well. But of course that was before they saw Bermuda bat!
Comments like “they have certainly started well” gave way later to “they are a despondent looking team — maybe a little embarrassed. Bermuda are not equipped to compete at this level.”
However, some of their early criticism was aimed at England.
Knight said: “They have made a sedate start.” Willis meanwhile was impressed with Hurdle who was then in his eighth over. “Hurdle has bowled well, very well. I am impressed by Bermuda,” said Willis.
However, he did add that Bermuda needed to watch out for the extras. “That is an area the coach will definitely be looking at,” said Willis, noting that Bermuda’s coach Gus Logie “never got the credit he deserved” when playing for the West Indies.
By the 14th over the former England bowler Willis said that “Logie is going to have to do some work on the Bermuda fielding”.
Then just after that Saleem Mukuddem dropped a “difficult catch”.
Knight then hit out at the England batsmen — Bell and Pietersen. “Their running between the wickets has been sedate — (they are) ambling down the crease.”
Just before 11 a.m. the screen went blank. And you know what that must mean.....yes Bermuda managed to get another wicket (Bell)!
Allott and Adams took over the commentary just before Bermuda’s hero Dwayne (Sluggo) Leverock came on to bowl. And when he did come on Allott was amazed. “20 stone! 20 stone this boy!” exclaimed Allott.
Adams noted that Leverock has a “subtle left-arm spin”, adding, “you wouldn’t want to mess with this big boy being a policeman!”
After watching Leverock bowl his first over, Allott said: “You wouldn’t expect him to be the most mobile but it is a good start for him. Agility is not his high point — he’s enthusiastic though.” Later he praised the big man again saying, “Leverock’s control has been immaculate.”
And then Leverock got Collingwood’s wicket.
“A good piece of bowling and a fine catch,” said Allott.
With Flintoff coming in Allott said that he and Pietersen made “a dream pairing”.
And then Leverock got Pietersen out.
“Leverock is on fire — he’s jogging around in celebration! And that was smart work by Minors,” said Allott.
Adams chimed in: “That is a huge wicket for the ‘Bermudans’.”
Actually the only commentator who pronounced the word ‘Bermudian’ properly was Blewett — the rest all referred to the team as Bermudans — but what else is new!
Adams continued to praise Leverock for “mixing it up very well.”
After 27 overs Blewett and Knight came on and immediately noted that “England are in a match situation.”
Blewett said: “This partnership is under pressure — they will have to fight to get a score. It is game on. Bermuda must be happy with the way things have gone.”
Knight added: “Bermuda have fought back incredibly well. That man Leverock is causing problems. He can bowl, he can definitely bowl.”
Blewett and Knight both were slightly critical of Bermuda captain Irving Romaine for not being “proactive” with his bowling changes and the need to change his field.
Leverock then stopped a run from Flintoff by throwing himself to the ground causing Knight to call him a “human barricade”.
Flintoff was soon out after trying to go for a six . . . yet again and when Allott and Adams came on to commentate Allott said: “England won’t be ecstatic from their performance . . . Flintoff seemed bent on getting out.”
Leverock then finished his 10 overs and Allott said: “This will be a day he’ll remember for a while. He is a canny bowler.”
Adams remarked: “No one can conquer him. It has been crafty work by the big lad. Every <$>of him has bowled well.”
On Leverock and fellow spin bowler Borden, Adams said: “Both of them have squeezed the England batting quite well.”
After Nixon was out going for a six with Hurdle catching well on the long-on boundary, Adams said: “Gus Logie will be very pleased with that effort.”
With Borden bowling that last over, Blewett said: “Irving Romaine has got that wrong. He can’t have too many options.” But then added after the innings: “Romaine will be very pleased with Leverock but the other bowlers have been a little expensive.”
As Bermuda were coming in to bat Willis said: “Don’t write off their chances.”
Little did he know.
A very, very early sign of things to come was after the second ball when Minors could have, and should have, been out lbw from Anderson who appealed in vain to South African umpire Koertzen.
Willis said: “That should have been out.”
It soon became apparent that Bermuda were not used to the pace bowling and Willis said: “Both of these Bermudans are getting in trouble playing across the line.”
Minors was then given another life after he was dropped by Pietersen in what should have been a fairly routine catch for a top Test player.
After another lbw decision was turned down Willis said: “They are not used to being given out lbw on their front foot in their local cricket.”
Minors was then out caught by Pietersen off Plunkett. “That was poor execution, a miscue,” Blewett said of Minors.
Then OJ Pitcher was soon out and Willis said: “Gus Logie is going to have to work with these batsmen as the tournament goes on. They are shuffling across the stumps and will be in trouble with an umpire prepared to give lbw.”
Willis added: “They look nervous. The technical difficulties need to be ironed out.”
And then the wickets came tumbling down with the batsmen “going across the crease and paying the price”.
By the time young Jones came in Nick Knight said: “Bermuda are in dire straits.”
Adams said just before Mukuddem came in: “Bermuda are not quite used to this type of bowling.”
The commentators then perked up a bit when Lionel Cann arrived at the crease. After noting that he had more sixes in ODIs than any player in the world last year, Adams said: “I am not sure he will be up for it. He sounds like an entertaining player and we could do with some entertainment now.”
Cann tried to hit a six on his second ball but it went for four — just.
“Thank you very much Lionel Cann. You have brought much needed entertainment,” said Adams.
And then Cann was out for five bowled by Mahmood.
Adams noted that Bermuda’s scorecard looked like a “telephone number”. He said: “It has twos, a nought, a five, a seven.”
Adams then wondered why Hemp wasn’t batting up the order more.
“I wonder whether Hemp is batting too low. In the present company he is batting too low. He could set the tone for his lesser colleagues.”
Blewett said: “They are a despondent looking team — maybe a little embarrassed. Gus Logie will be disappointed. Bermuda are not equipped to compete at this level.”
Adams added: “It is a sorry tale for Bermuda. Hemp’s (11) looks like a colossal innings.”
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Actually the broadcast of the Bermuda/England game was on both 531 and 532 Cablevision and when the ministers came on, I switched to the other channel and thankfully it was just the cricket.
While the England/Bermuda match was shown free of charge, I sincerely hope that we will not have to put up with these ministers rattling on when the World Cup starts for real. After all I have paid $200 to be able to watch. And that is on top of being a member of the public who have given up $11 million to prepare the team over the next few years.
Also please have the broadcast on time — from the first ball.
