"I wish I was straight. If there was a pill, I'm sure many gays would take it to become straight."

These are the words of 17-year-old James. He is an outstanding student, an artist and a community activist - and he is gay.

James (not his real name) spoke to The Royal Gazette and shared his experiences and the ridicule he has had to endure because of who he is.

James is the second oldest of seven siblings and said he comes from a loving family with doting parents. From a very young age, he said, he knew he was different: "I've known I was gay since I was four. Although some may feel that's too young, even then I didn't like girls. I was attracted to boys."

The teenager said he battled with himself over his identity for many years. According to him, he was always asked if he was gay, even by his mother. He always denied the claim until one day he was accidentally 'outted'.

"A couple of years ago, I started seeking out gay pen pals on the Internet. We began communicating regularly and one of my friends mistakenly sent a letter of affection to my dad's e-mail address instead of mine."

James said his father was astonished. He said he sat him down and quoted verses from the Bible in attempts to demonstrate that his homosexual feelings were not right.

"But he couldn't change who I was," the teen said adamantly.

Soon, he said, his actions were coming under the constant scrutiny of his parents. Whenever he went somewhere unplanned, they questioned him about who he was with, something he said they had rarely done before.

"I was scheduled to go on a trip right after they found out I was gay. They forbid me to go because they thought that being overseas would give me the opportunity to discover, my true self - something I think they were afraid of," he said.

James expressed remorse at losing two of his best friends due to his parents' restrictions. One, a female, was seen as "a bad influence" by his parents, while the other - a straight male - was forbidden to continue their friendship because both sets of parents thought he would be enticed to become gay.

James thought this ideology was ridiculous.

"I've known him for so long and his parents didn't have a problem with us being friends but now that they know I'm gay, they do," he said.

And he said he has been driven underground and meets this friend secretly.

Attending school is not a simple task for James. He said during this last school year, not a day went by when he was not ridiculed and/or verbally abused by school mates.

Being taunted and having food thrown at him were only two of the many incidents that he has had to endure.

"I've had so many unpleasant experiences, they are too numerous to count."

He recounted one of the worst incidents to date.

"One day I was walking in Washington Mall with some friends, when the brother of a guy I used to date approached me," he said. "He threatened to beat me up because he had heard that I was spreading things about his brother. He shoved me up against a plate window of one of the stores and said I needed to stay away from his brother, who he believed was straight."

James said the boy had never told anyone in his family about his true sexual identity.

He called people like this "frauds" because sometimes they would go to any lengths to conceal their sexual orientation at school.

According to him, some of his peers who are doing the name-calling are the same ones who date other teen boys on the sneak.

He said he has suffered at the hands of homophobes for so long that he is used to it.

Even riding his motor cycle has been a daunting task. He said one day, several boys who he knew him from middle school, surrounded him while he was in transit and shouted names at him.

"To be called faggot, chi-chi mon and other names used to bother me, but not anymore," he said. But things took a turn for the worse when they started slapping his helmet from all directions and he could do nothing but hope that they stopped.

He said the attack was completely unprovoked, especially since he had not seen his assailants in almost four years.

The unfortunate thing about James' situation is that he has not only been ostracised by his peers, but by some adults as well.

He said that at school a teacher asked him in front of his class if he was gay and often told gay jokes, causing him great discomfort.

The A student said there were times when group work was required for a project and no male would work with him because of his sexuality. He said the teacher knew this was the case, but did nothing.

"I never reported these incidents to anyone because I didn't think that anyone cared," he said. "Sometimes I'd go home and cry because I was so lonely. Very few people were there for me."

In recent months he was removed from a leadership role at school because the parents of his peers discovered that he was gay. He said he did not agree with the decision, but his parents convinced him that there was nothing they could do.

"So I had to give it up," he said with remorse.

James, who had been sexually active in the past, said that he always practised safe sex, although many of his peers chose not to. This is very dangerous, especially since many of his gay peers, he said, lead double lives.

"About 95 percent of my gay friends have girlfriends and boyfriends. Many people are at risk for sexually transmitted diseases."

He said living in Bermuda is a big part of the problem, a sentiment voiced last week by the newly formed Gay Men's Support Group.

"Because we live in Bermuda, people are afraid to reveal their true identities out of fear that the word would spread like wildfire within 24 hours," said James

Responding to the idea of a gay teen support group being formed soon, James welcomed the concept: " I think it's needed because so many gay adolescents are uneducated about how to deal with their sexuality. A lot of them are afraid to tell their parents out of fear of violent reactions."

Regardless of what he has been through, James said he is proud of who he is.

"I am who I am and no one can change me."