Government needs to make the family a priority and start educating and empowering boys if it is to stop many of the social ills plaguing the "matriarchal" Island, an expert has claimed.

Author and domestic violence guru Erin Pizzey, who has been in Bermuda for the past week, said the balance between men and women was tipped towards females and she believed men were given little weight and responsibility.

Ms Pizzey visited Bermuda as a guest speaker for the Father's for Families conference, which aimed to raise awareness about bias in the judicial system over child custody matters and the need for family life.

She has suggested to Premier Jennifer Smith that a "three strikes and you are out" policy be imposed on mothers who deliberately stopped fathers from seeing their youngsters. She said if a mother was guilty of it three times, then the policy should stipulate that custody of the child automatically go to the father.

She told The Royal Gazette: "I suggested to the Premier and Opposition leader Dr. Grant Gibbons that the three strikes rule be implemented in Bermuda.

"Something has to be done because a lot of mothers are deliberately stopping fathers from seeing their children, and little is done. The alternatives are too grim. You can't ask the courts to put mothers in jail because the affects on the children would be too devastating.

"It also prevents the winner takes all syndrome in child custody and means that everyone has to abide by court orders, whether it be paying maintenance or allowing access."

Fathers have repeatedly claimed that mothers are automatically given custody of the children in divorce and they are regularly left as mere visitors, and cheque books, in their children's lives.

Ms Pizzey has fought for shared parenting around the world and said all children had a right to a meaningful and proper relationship with their fathers.

Women alone, cannot bring up children, she said.

Ms Pizzey said the court system should not be so random when it came to how much child maintenance fathers had to pay and said women who claimed domestic violence or abuse against their partners should be asked to provide some sort of evidence.

She said she believed Bermuda was too "matriarchal" and said women had to stop spoiling boys and educate them, instead.

She said men who did anything wrong were often treated like naughty boys in "one big unruly Bermudian family", and said the apathy towards men in general had to stop.

Ms Pizzey said she believed Bermuda had a real chance of turning around the situation by simply embarking on an education campaign.

"While I have been in Bermuda, I have picked up that many women simply do not think fathers are very important and they don't understand that fathering is as equally as important as mothering," added Ms Pizzey. "The role of the father on the Island is the most understated. The men are expendable, provided they are paying. That is the impression I get.

"But it also goes back to young boys. The girls receive a very careful education and they are qualified, but the boys are put out to work. I am not saying that this society should be patriarchal, but I think there should be a balance, and in Bermuda, the women hold up most of the world. At the moment, there is too much apathy out there and the mindset needs to change," she said. "The exciting thing about Bermuda is that if Bermuda really wanted to lead the world in terms of family life, it could because it is small, compact and inter-related. Many other countries have similar problems to these, but because they are so much bigger, it will be so much more difficult to solve.

"While I have been here I have found people to be so warm and friendly. It is a wonderful place. However, I have seen a lot of hurt among men, and that is so sad. They want to be a major part of their children's lives, but are prevented from doing so. That is more damaging to a child and society than anyone could ever realise."