Imagine having your life fall apart in one afternoon.

That's what happened to a mother, a brother and a son last year when Hurricane Fabian hit on September 5, killing their family members and changing their lives forever. One year later, on the anniversary of the worst storm to hit the Island in 50 years, they continue to deal with the tragedy.

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e was the backbone of the family," Rosalind Symons said of her only son Stephen (Chicken) Symons, the Policeman who was killed as he attempted to cross the Causeway on September 5 in a Police cruiser with colleagues P.c. Nicole O'Connor and Station Duty Officer Gladys Saunders.

Mrs. Saunders was trying to cross the bridge to get home to her condo at Ducks Puddle Estate in Bailey's Bay and was given a ride by the two officers.

It is believed Mrs. Saunders, 50, P.c. Symons, 37, and P.c. O'Connor, 30, had got out of the vehicle before the huge waves and strong winds of Hurricane Fabian swept them away. Also killed that day was Manuel Pacheco, 23, a worker for the Corporation of Hamilton, who was on his way back from securing his boat in St. David's when his car stalled on the bridge.

The two cars were recovered the next morning, but one year later only one body has been recovered, that of P.c. Symons.

Dealing with the tragedy was not made any easier for the families after an inquest in March in which coroner Edward King determined the three Police personnel acted against the warnings of their superiors.

Although these may be the facts, the families find themselves going over the events of that day convinced there is more to the story than Bermuda will ever know.

For Mrs. Symons, the anguish of losing her son has not faded over time. Although the tears come easily when she talks about Stephen, she holds herself together with her faith in God and the support of other close family members.

"It's still fresh in our immediate families' mind, we go home and see his pictures and it hurts really bad. It does not go away," she said.

Stephen Jr., nine, is a student at St. George's Prep. Mrs. Symons, who works at Mayne's Furniture, said she has dealt with her grief over the past year by remembering the happy times the closely-knit family shared with Stephen, who was particularly close with his grandmother and uncle, Robert (Tropicana Steel Pan) Symons.

"We are a very close family, if anyone had any problems or needed any help Stephen was the one who would step in and help," she said.

"He was the kind of person who if he saw you struggling with bags he would carry your bags and ask what can I do for you."

We enjoyed ourselves as a family, it's what I look back to and think about."

On the anniversary of the hurricane that took her son's life, Mrs. Symons said she hoped he will be remembered in the community as the kind of person who thought about others before himself.

"He didn't have a selfish bone in his body," she said. "He died helping people."

In a tribute poem to P.c. Symons, friend Linda Meinzer wrote that "Chicken" was a seasoned professional, and that it was not uncommon for people to speak of his "kindness, integrity, and his beautiful smile".

"As a son, grandson and brother he was a guiding light, a constant support, a provider and an unending source of reliability," Ms Meinzer wrote.

Throughout the last year, Antoine Saunders, 23, the son of Gladys Saunders, has also been struggling.

Mrs. Saunders had a daughter Shanae, 25, and two grandchildren Kayuntae, five and Nazyia, four.

Rather than talk about the incidents surrounding Fabian, Mr. Saunders, who works at Mobility Ltd. shares memories of his mother, who he describes as a dedicated family person, a loving grandmother and a person who wasn't afraid to "speak her mind".

This September 5 is no different from any other day for Mr. Saunders and his daughters.

"She always took good care of them," he said. "They always ask about her, I know they miss her very much. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss her and think about her."

Mr. Saunders said that when he was a student he could count on his mother to be at the sidelines to show her support. "She was always there for me, it didn't matter what I was doing, if it was a sports event, she was always there to show her support," said Mr. Saunders.

Kanhai Fray, 39, the brother of P.c. Nicole O'Connor, describes the last year as one of struggle. His sister, whom he calls Nicky, was a bright, cheerful girl whose life was just beginning to come together.

She was a new member of the Bermuda Police Service and she and her husband Robert had just learned that she was a couple of weeks pregnant.

Although she was in the early stages of pregnancy, all of the family, particularly her mother, Franzine Burgess were ecstatic about the pending birth.

"Everything for her was just falling into place," Mr. Fray said.

"My mother and all the family were so happy for her. The closeness of our family structure meant that this new addition to the family was going to bring so much joy."

Mr. Fray, who works as a storeman at Bermuda Motors, said the court proceedings surrounding the Hurricane Fabian inquest "left a bad taste in his mouth" and highlighted what he felt were pointless and insensitive comments from the community. "People say they shouldn't have been out there," he said.

"It's been a struggle to hear that kind of talk, although it's human nature to say these kinds of things. It hurts our family members to hear it, it used to really upset me.

"I felt like the court proceedings were just a formality, the judge said we're not here to point fingers but in the end he turned and pointed the finger at Constable Symons."

Mr. Fray said his sister was just doing her job that day and, being a new officer, would not have disobeyed an order.

"No one wanted to take the blame for what happened but I think it comes down to communication. If the Police officers had proper communication they wouldn't have left the station."

Every day the family struggle to move on with life. Mrs. O'Conner is missed at close family gatherings, by her childhood friend Victoria Millet, and by her niece and nephew who she used to help get ready for school in the mornings after coming off the night shift. "Everything that a mother would do, that's what she did," said Mr. Fray.

"This is a hard thing for us to get over, we know she would have wanted us to move on, but it's a feeling you just can't throw away. It's a feeling that will stay with you forever."

Mr. Fray believes weather information about the hurricane was not properly relayed to the Police officers, leading them to believe the storm was not as severe as it turned out to be and they could make their way across the bridge in time.

As he crosses the Causeway on his way to work, particularly in rainy or stormy weather, Mr. Fray often fights back tears. Dealing with tragedy means he must move on, which he said he does by thinking about the successful start his sister had taken in her new career as a Police officer.

In March, 2003 Mrs. O'Connor had graduated from the Police Recruit training course with the Baton of Honour, the top award for fledging new officers whose skill and dedication through the course have earned them recognition.

Although Mr. Fray isn't a regular churchgoer, he will be at the Wellington Baptist Church this Sunday to support his mother and reflect on memories of Nicky, a person who made a lasting impression on all who met her.

"What gets me through is thinking of Nicky and what she accomplished," said Mr. Fray. "It's what stands out in my mind the most ? her smile just said it all. She really made me proud."