with physical abuse and domestic violence -- and why the road to putting an end to it will be a long one.

One story, by Nancy Acton, reported on an art and poetry show which finished yesterday at the Society of Arts Gallery in City Hall. There, the victims of physical abuse -- both spouses and children of abusive parents -- described the effects of abuse on their lives.

Miss Acton wrote: "The immature hand of one young victim writes on a T-shirt: `I wish my mom would make my dad stop hitting and yelling'.'' Another victim writes, also on a T-shirt: "I wish I could protect my mom.'' Small wonder, as Miss Acton writes, that boxes of tissues were strategically placed around the room. These were cries for help from victims of a disease of the mind which is not easily cured.

The second story in the Lifestyle section came from a new column organised by the Family Resource Centre which The Royal Gazette began publishing several weeks ago.

Yesterday's column described how a female victim of abuse from her "paramour'' keeps going back to him and re-entering a spiral of violence which seems unlikely to ever end.

The cycle of manipulation and abuse, and sometimes, the apparent death wish of the victim, is what makes domestic violence so hard to stop.

The perpetrator of the abuse -- who may appear on the outside to be a respectable member of society -- plays on the human weaknesses of the victim to dominate the person. For abuse to occur, the victim, at least in the case of adults, must be a willing participant.

Those who escape abuse carry the scars for life. Those who do not escape often end up dead. As the Physical Abuse Centre reports, at least one woman or child has died as a result of violence since 1979. A good many -- some of them infants -- were victims of violence within the home, where we are all supposed to be safe.

There is no complete answer to the problem. But there are ways of reducing the risk. Since victims very often will not leave their abusers or bring criminal charges against them, the Police and the Attorney General's Chambers need to use the powers they have to bring prosecutions when the victim will not. The fact that the attack may have taken place in the home is irrelevant -- assault is assault, whether it is in the home or on the street, whether it is between complete strangers or a husband and wife.

The fact the victim may not be willing -- or in an infant's case, able -- to testify makes the prosecutor's job harder, but not impossible, and if the evidence seems clear, the abuser should be charged. That in itself may prove to be a disincentive to further attacks.

At the same time, a carrot needs to be offered to victims and abusers.

Counselling, assistance with controlling anger and violence, and support for the victim to walk out of a bad situation are all critical.

The Physical Abuse Centre plays a major role in this, but it needs the support of the whole community to put an end to a crime which has no place in a society which must be built on tolerance and mutual respect to thrive.