For Premier the Hon. Sir John Swan has already avoided that ultimate embarrassment before his October 5 big match.

The UBP Smith's North stronghold has guaranteed him one seat.

With the PLP fielding only one candidate, Dr. Roosevelt Brown, the UBP's Ernest DeCouto or Leonard Gibbons are assured victory.

***** A SOUTHAMPTON EAST voter is looking a gift horse in the mouth. The voter said he was disturbed by a letter and gift vouchers he received from the Sonesta Beach Hotel.

It was not that he couldn't use the free admission for two to the Palm Court Club or a complimentary bottle of champagne. But the accompanying letter was signed by Mr. Anthony Santucci. As well as being the Sonesta's food and beverage director, Mr. Santucci is the United Bermuda Party's candidate in Southampton East.

"When was the last time you enjoyed a truly good meal, not far from home?'' the letter asked, suggesting it was aimed at Southampton residents.

"It smacks of vote-buying,'' a caller to The Royal Gazette said. "If it's truly innocent, it's terribly bad timing -- a lot could be construed.'' ***** MR. GEORGE SCOTT, a Progressive Labour Party candidate in Warwick West, confirmed he got stuck with the bill for a pair of running shoes this week.

He would say little else, other than: "We took care of that matter.'' Sources said that a man who was distributing PLP campaign literature went into a Warwick store and was found by the shopkeeper wearing a pair of shoes he had not paid for.

When confronted, he identified himself as a PLP worker and produced a card with Mr. Scott's telephone number, the sources said.

The shopkeeper, who said he was ready to call the authorities, said Mr. Scott agreed to come and pay for the shoes.

The cost? $91.

The other puzzling thing was that the worker was a stranger who spoke with what sounded like an American accent.

Some friends and relatives were helping with the campaign, Mr. Scott said. He would not say whether the man would be handing out any more literature.

***** THE political bed-hopping among rival election candidates knows no bounds.

Caught at it this time are the UBP's Sen. Wendell Hollis and Independent Mrs.

Pat Gordon Pamplin.

Everyone probably knows Mrs. Gordon Pamplin is embroiled in a tussle with Government over her American husband's work permit.

She has now hired a lawyer to help her -- Sen. Hollis, UBP candidate for Hamilton East.

And just to complete the UBP's embarrassment, Mrs. Gordon Pamplin, sister of Youth Minister the Hon. Pamela Gordon, is standing in Home Affairs Minister the Hon. Irving Pearman's Warwick East constituency.

Round one, it seems to Mrs. Gordon Pamplin.

For Mr. Pearman has placed a stay until October 31 on an order for Mrs. Gordon Pamplin's husband to leave Bermuda.

He hopes to have completed a review by then.

OCTOBER 1993 ELECTION