Richard Allan Smith, 39, received a conditional discharge after he pleaded guilty to using offensive words on August 15.

Crown counsel Graveney Bannister outlined the events to the Acting Senior Magistrate.

He told the court that about 12.25 a.m., Police were called to a disturbance on Watlington Road in Devonshire.

There, the Kilderry Lane resident shouted obscenities and threatened to commit suicide.

When Police approached Smith they noticed his breath smelled strongly of alcohol and the scent of urine on his clothes.

As Police attempted to arrest Smith, he told them: "What, you're going to arrest me? F*** the Police.'' As he resisted, he said: "I'm going to punch Ed King in his mouth!'' After hearing the testimony, Mr. King asked with a puzzled look on his face: "Mr.

Smith, you met me before and you still had me on your mind? Am I the person you say you are going to punch in the mouth?'' Smith replied: "No Your Honour.'' "I didn't think so,'' Mr. King said. "You must have been speaking in tongues.'' Mr. King cautioned Smith about his disorderly conduct and warned him, saying: "The next time you have your liquors in and are feeling nice, don't talk.'' He gave Smith a 12-month conditional discharge and promised to activate criminal proceedings if Smith committed any criminal act within that time.

CONDITIONAL DISCHARGE CTS Conditional discharge A Pembroke man who assaulted a woman received a conditional discharge in Magistrates Court.

Anthony Woodley, 58, of 34 Friswells Hill, pleaded guilty to assaulting LaVita Williams on January 29.

Crown counsel Oonagh Goodred told the court that the victim had confronted Woodley at the Devonshire Recreation Club following an earlier incident involving her daughter.

A conversation took place between Woodley and Ms Williams and he then pushed her three times in the chest.

The court heard that Ms Williams reported the incident to Police later that day.

In court Woodley said: "She came to me and asked if we could talk. I was behind the counter so I asked her to come to the side door.

"She said her daughter came home upset because I had told her she was a nuisance. I asked her to let me say what happened. But she said `No I'm not giving you a chance to explain. Next time it happens I'm going to kick you in your ass.' Then I closed the door on her.'' Senior Magistrate Archibald Warner said: "I have heard you and I do not think it is necessary to give you a conviction.'' ADDICT FINED FOR STEALING CTS Addict fined for stealing A heroin addict who is currently on probation was fined $800 in Magistrates' Court for stealing.

Neville St. Clair Tucker, 42, of Wellman Lane, Southampton, pleaded guilty to the charge of stealing items worth more than $2,000 from a visitor on October 1, last year.

Crown counsel Oonagh Goodred told the court that the victim parked her bike in a bay at Jobson Cove. A Sony camcorder, t-shirts, and a jacket were locked under the cycle seat.

The victim returned to her cycle later that afternoon and noticed later that the items must have gone missing at some point between October 1 and 6.

On October 6, Police issued a search warrant at a Court Street premises acting on other information and found the camcorder.

Tucker was brought into the Hamilton Police station where he was interviewed under caution.

He told Police that he had taken the camcorder and attempted to sell it to the Court Street store.

Tucker was processed in the jail area and bailed. He reappeared at the Hamilton Police Station once more in April.

Tucker told the court: "I called them to tell them they left the camera behind but they wouldn't stop so I decided to sell it.'' "Actually the camera was left behind and I just didn't do the right thing with it.'' Senior Magistrate Archibald Warner said sarcastically: "You didn't do anything wrong, you stole the camera,'' before handing down the sentence.

MAN IS ALL WASHED OUT! CTS Man is all washed out! On his way to a soca show netted a Sandys Parish man over $1,700 in fines this week, when he appeared before Senior Magistrate Archibald Warner.

Thirty-year-old George Smith pleaded guilty to speeding at 60 kilometres and not possessing a valid driver's licence on May 11.

He also pleaded guilty to riding an unlicensed and uninsured cycle on May 18.

The Philpott Hill Drive resident was one of the nearly two dozen men arrested and hauled into Magistrates' Court because of Police crackdowns last weekend.

And Mr. Warner noted to the court that Smith had missed a June 27 court date relating to the matters.

Asked why he did not show up at court, Smith responded: "Well what happened was I washed my pants and the ticket was in the pocket.

"I called Prosecutions numerous times, but they couldn't find a record of it in the system. Next thing I'm going to the soca show and I get stopped. And now I'm here.'' Mr. Warner fined Smith $1,000 for having no insurance, $450 for an unlicensed cycle, $225 for speeding at 60 kilometres and $100 for not having a valid driver's licence.

Mr. Warner told Smith: "The moral of that story is don't wash your pants.'' MAN ANGRY WITH HIS BOSS CTS Man angry with his boss A Smith's man who threatened to "kill'' his boss, received a conditional discharge, when he appeared in Magistrates' Court this week.

Steven Shorter, 47, pleaded guilty to acting in a threatening manner on April 24.

Crown counsel Cindy Clarke told Senior Magistrate Archibald Warner the Castle Hill resident was in a dispute over wages with his boss.

The court heard that Shorter, who is employed as a chef, verbally abused and threatened his superior and said: "I will kill you!'' However standing before Mr. Warner, he told the court: "I did not threaten this man. I was cooking bacon and I had the tongs in my hand.

"I did curse him out royally, but threaten to kill him, I did not.'' Mr. Warner handed Shorter a 12-month conditional discharge for the offence and told him: "Don't let your cooking profession boil over into a society problem.''