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Put your child in the winner's circle

Dr. Janet Kemp, dynamic director of The Reading Clinic, says now is an excellent time for parents and school age children to make resolutions for the new school year beginning this September.

"We all get focused on new uniforms and looking good but we must also focus on `feeling good' as a learner and belonging to the winner's circle at school,'' said Dr. Kemp.

Parents have an impact on the success of their school children. Children who are confident learners and possess good social skills find it easy to belong to the winner's circle. Children who confront failure constantly seem to be outside of the circle.

"Although most children start school feeling part of the winner's circle, many of them feel pushed out by their fourth year of schooling,'' explained Dr. Kemp.

It is a challenge to make your child a winner. Chances are if a child's parents were in the winner's circle, the parents will feel easy and transfer these comfortable feelings onto their children. Parents who themselves did not have positive experiences at school may need more support in helping their children succeed.

What does it take to be in the winner's circle at school? Dr. Kemp listed eight valuable points: Coming to school ready to learn with `learning behaviour': Attend, listen, participate.

Having the basic skills to cope with the demands of school. Children who fall behind, because of poor instruction, a learning disability, or other circumstances, need to be identified early so appropriate instruction and modification can be provided.

Completion of all assignments and home work.

Acting in a respectful manner towards authority.

Displaying good social skills with peers including cooperation, resolving conflicts without violence and avoiding bullying.

Demonstrating certain moral behaviours such as honesty, responsibility, and respect for other's property. An excellent parent resource in this area is a book called, "Bringing up a Moral Child'' by Michael Schulman and Eva Mekler.

Adhering to school rules.

Having motivation to learn and be the best you can be.

How can parents and schools work together to keep students in the winner's circle? 1. Parents should review the child's report card very carefully.

2. Parents can ask the teacher if the child is lacking in any areas. Ask the teacher what you can do to help. Ascertain what the school will do to intervene.

3. If weaknesses have been identified in the past, share this information with the teacher at the beginning of school. Don't assume relevant information will be passed on.

4. Support learning to read and practise with material together. Read to the child at a slightly higher level than he/she reads. A useful resource is the book, "Keeping Kids Reading'' by Mary Leonhardt.

Help children become better readers. Parents stop too early reading to children. If you have questions consult with the school reading specialist. If the child struggles, find out why within the first three school years.

5. Parents need to know homework expectations. Is the parent expected to review the homework? Helping the child check and correct the homework gives the parent an opportunity to praise the child for identifying errors and doing corrections. Be positive when helping your child.

6. Parents and schools need to evaluate the TV patterns of students. Excessive TV can yield weaknesses in verbal skills and creative thinking.

"Personally I think TV should be restricted during the school week. I have found that if you decide to give your child an hour of TV, the child is inclined to rush through his work just to see the hour of TV,'' advised Dr.

Kemp.

She recommends that parents read a book called, "Kick the TV Habit!'' written by Steve and Ruth Bennett who write that the average American family watches about seven hours daily.

Wouldn't you rather see a better use of your child's time reading, playing or working creatively? A committee of the American Academy of Paediatrics found that "the main goal of children's television is to sell products to children''.

"The amount of violence viewed by children is an even greater concern, given its potential impact on actual behaviour,'' advised Dr. Kemp.

7. Parents and teachers can role model effectively to children. If you are experiencing a behaviour problem with your child consult with the school counsellor. You should feel comfortable using the counsellor as a resource rather than waiting until the school identifies a problem.

Parents should try not to get on the defensive when the school identifies negative aspects of a child's behaviour or personality. "Rather than thinking `my child would never ....', listen openly to the concerns and don't justify the behaviour because `a lot of kids are doing it.' Work with the school to improve the behaviour and help ensure your child experiences consequences for negative behaviour,'' added Dr. Kemp.

Following summer comes the autumn term. Many students experience a lot of freedom during summer vacation. Summer can be a restful time for many, which allows sleeping in and going to the beach almost daily.

Parents and teachers may set limits early in the autumn term but often it is harder for the student and parents to sustain the goals or rules. When we all start feeling tired is when we have to work harder to maintain the rules and be consistent.

Dr. Kemp concluded with some general parenting advice: "Spend quality time with your child even if it is only 30 minutes a day. Children need time with adults to put perspective on a day's events. Every child needs time to talk about the day's events, share joys and doubts and reflect on his/her actions.

"This helps with the moral and emotional development of the child and fosters nurturing. Listening to our children and responding constructively to their view of the world probably is our most important role as parents.'' Dr. Kemp obtained her Doctoral Degree from Harvard where she studied teaching, curriculum and learning environments. Simultaneously she earned an Advanced Graduate degree in school psychology from Boston State College -- now the University of Massachusetts-Boston.

Her passions, apart from her work, are her family and spending quality time with them. Scott Hunter is her husband and they have two daughters, Christie and Risa, aged 14 and 11 respectively.

Dr. Janet Kemp: Ways to make your child a winner in school.

PRIORITIES A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. . . but the world may be different because I was import in the life of a child.

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