Domestic violence “tends to spike in abusive homes” during the Christmas holidays, according to the Centre Against Abuse — which has issued a list of pointers for those at risk.

“During the Christmas season, as during any holiday or festive time, people who are already in abusive situations can see this increase,” said director Laurie Shiell. “It can increase your abuse if finances aren’t where they should be, or if there’s an increase in alcohol or drug intake — it’s just part of the holiday season, which brings joy for some and displeasure for others.”

Cup Match and Valentine’s Day are other flashpoints in the holiday calendar, she said.

But Christmas, which closes with New Year’s Eve, often coincides with the decision to turn over a new leaf.

“We get an increase in clientele come January and February. People decide they don’t want to start out another year the way they’re living now — so they will take steps to end that relationship at the beginning of the year. For many of them, it’s a New Year’s resolution.”

She cited a range of factors that can fuel unhappy domestic situations, such as jealousy sparked over Christmas parties.

Abusive partners often seek to isolate their victims, Ms Shiell said.

“If the abuser sees their partner going to their mother’s for Christmas, or to friends, that in itself can start a fight.”

Abusers who blame their outbursts on drugs or alcohol are peddling a myth, Ms Shiell added: “A lot of times, people say their abuser is out of control. They’re actually completely in control — if they weren’t, they would be directing their abuse at everybody. But they don’t. They have their target that they want to release it on.”

Accordingly the Centre has provided safety tips to reduce harm and increase support:

For victims, the Centre advises:

• Keep your phone (and some cash in hand) on you at all times. Also remember to keep your cell phone fully charged at all times. You will never know when a situation will erupt, so it is crucial to have it on hand, especially if you know you might be alone with your abuser.

• Arrange for an ally in advance. If you are going to spend the holiday season with extended family, and you know who would believe and support you, call that person in advance to ask him or her for support and intervention should a situation turn violent.

• Always have an audience. Use holiday visits to extended family and friends as a chance to minimise being alone with your abuser. At best, being in company will keep the violence in check. At worst, if violence does happen, it will happen publicly and you may have others stepping in to intervene or at least a few witnesses.

• Defuse it. Walking away from a potentially explosive situation may help temporarily alleviate the abuse and avoid fatalities:

• Have an escape plan. When you are in a household that is not your own, quietly check out all possible escape routes in the house itself. Better yet, take time to set up a plan of escape including the numbers of people willing to help you get away. If there is a good chance that your abuser will be in a drunken or drug-induced sleep or stupor over the holidays, it may be your chance to escape with your children and pets.

• Call the police. Always call 911 when you suspect that abuse is about to occur.

• Call the Centre Against Abuse. Should you need someone to talk with or should you need access to the only safe house in Bermuda, please call our 24 hour hotline, 297-8278

For friends and extended families of victims/survivors:

• Be on standby. If you suspect your friend or family member of suffering from domestic violence, offer to be on standby for their text or call through the holiday season. Have your phone on and fully charged at all times and keep it on you. If you have a car and need to intervene immediately, make sure that the tank is full so you can get in and drive to get the victim/survivor immediately if need be.

• Have an intervention plan. Work out a plan to get an intervention operation in action — have the Centre Against Abuse 24 Hour Hotline 297-8278 placed in your phone.

• Get a partner. Intervening with domestic violence situations can be dangerous especially if the abuser has a weapon and is intoxicated by drink or drugs. If you are unable to get immediate help from the police, make sure to bring another friend or family member along with you when you respond to the victim/survivor’s call in person.

• Be part of the plan. If a victim/survivor approaches you with a plan to escape her abuser during the holiday season, agree to do so and be on standby to help her and bolster her resolve when the time comes to put the plan into action.

• Check in regularly. If you fear for your friend or family member’s life over the holiday season, call or text her once a day at a random time to see if she is all right.

• Call the police. Always call 911 when you know a domestic violence incidence is occurring. Your call could be the difference between life and death.

For abusers:

• You can stop yourself. Remember, violence is always a choice. There are no excuses and no one else to blame for being abusive. If you feel the need to harm, do not go home until you feel safe, calm and rational. Call our 24 hour men’s crisis hotline for assistance 332-1293

• Actions have consequences. Accept the consequences of your actions. Your partner has the right to get help from police or the courts. You may face legal consequences for being abusive, either with jail time or a protection order.

• Help is available. Remember you are not alone. The Centre Against Abuse can provide you with 24-hour support 332-1293. The Centre also provides the only Batterers Intervention Programme that provides information and tools to help you with displaying healthy behaviours and create a better relationship for you and your partner.

The 24-hour hotline for women is 297-8278, and the number for men in crisis is 332-1293.